Wikipedia:Peer review/Andranik Ozanian/archive1

Andranik Ozanian

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to hear others' opinions about this article, so I can improve it.

Thanks, Yerevanci (talk) 18:23, 20 June 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• See WP:LEAD for recommendations on numbers of paragraphs for this length of article.
• "In 1912-1913" needs to be an en-dash here per WP:DASH.
• "Andranik in Paris, 1921." no full stop required in this caption as it's not a complete sentence. Check all other captions.
• "which was about to wipe off Armenia from the face of the Earth." true as it may be, this is a somewhat emotive way of putting it. Try to keep the tone neutral.
• "Andranik combated in " -> "Andranik fought in "
• "and died 5 years " 5->five.
• Avoid squashing text between images/infobox etc.
• Some of the early parts of Early life appear unreferenced.
• "which he later leaves" -> "which he would later leave"
• "first name - even " en-dash, not hyphen.
• "gave a signal to the hidden fedayees......" then what?
• Don't overlink articles, e.g. you link Macedonian-Adrianopolitan militia twice in quick succession.
• Early parts of Life in exile appear unreferenced.
• Also, consider merging the first couple of short paras.
• "The New York Times reported," -> "The New York Times reported,"
• Legacy in Armenia section is unreferenced.
• The list of quotes is, well, mildly interesting but the article would be better served by integrating some of these quotes into the main article to provide a good context.
• "Avetis Aharonyan, [48]" (and all the others), no comma needed, not space between the name and the ref.
• Online sources should have publishers, authors (where possible), dates of publication (where possible) and access dates.

The Rambling Man (talk) 11:59, 3 July 2012 (UTC)