Wikipedia:Peer review/Halo 3: ODST/archive2

Halo 3: ODST[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm interested in getting it to FA status in the near future. I think it's quite comprehensive, but knowing myself the biggest areas that it probably needs help with are prose and accessibility for the non-video game reviewer; specific points to that are what I'm looking for, but any and all help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 18:35, 26 February 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Adding to the difficulty are skulls that give enemies new abilities; the "Catch" skull, for example, causes enemies to throw greater numbers of grenades." <-- complete unexplained. What is a skull in ordinary terms and why/how would one use it?
"...the aftermath of the shockwave..." What aftermath? A shockwave is a shockwave; you get a ringing sound, deal with it, and move on. Perhaps you need more destructive wording.
'Orbital Drop Shock Troopers, known as ODSTs or Helljumper' <-- no mention of the similarity to paratroopers?
'After looking at the proposal and the budget, studio head Harold Ryan gave the go-ahead.' <-- well obviously they looked at the proposal and budget; studio heads aren't in the habit of waving through new games.
'The genre also influenced the character names and archetypes. The player character, for example, fits the concept of a lone, hardboiled detective.' <-- since when do noir detectives gun down a couple of aliens every other building? What's detective about ODSTs?
'Members of Bungie were fans of the defunct television series Firefly, ' <-- every TV series gets canceled eventually; there are no immortal series.
'"instead," Molina wrote, "roughly two-thirds of ODST's combat feels very much like a traditional Halo game" instead of exploring promising new stealth-based mechanics.' <-- in general, the article fails to give a good idea of those new mechanics; having played some ODST, I know what he means, but others wouldn't. --Gwern (contribs) 21:17 6 March 2010 (GMT)
- I've reworded the skull bit and fleshed it out a bit more, and removed "defunct". A shockwave is a shockwave, but any such wave can carry a great deal of energy; it's plenty destructive, and I'm not sure what else you would call it. Noir is what they called it; while I think the ODSTs are a bit more bloody than your average 40's thriller, that's what the source says. Surprisingly, no one really discussed the paratrooper aspects. I'll take a look at adding in info about the stealth gameplay. Thanks for the review. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 20:41, 8 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]