Wikipedia:Peer review/Integrated Guided Missile Development Program/archive1

Integrated Guided Missile Development Program

This article need to be improved to the level of a featured article. Need suggestions.

Chanakyathegreat 16:08, 27 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ _t 21:09, 27 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

This article looks quite comprehensive, but it is going to need both more citations and a very thorough copyediting before it passes FA (or GA, for that matter). One citation per paragraph is a good rule if you're aiming for GA status; you may also want to see whether there are any books on the subject, as it seems like you mostly have internet references (although some very impressive ones). You may want to have a native English speaker look the article over, as there are a lot of odd points of phrasing. Here are some copyediting points (not a comprehensive list):

"IGMDP or Integrated Guided Missile Development Program was initiated by India for developing a range of Missiles" Don't start with an abbreviation. Much better to say, for example, "The Integrated Guided Missile Development Program (IGMDP) is an Indian program for the development of a comprehensive range of missiles." Note that "missiles" should be lowercase.
"The Current President OF India,A.P.J.Abdul Kalam is considered the person responsible for the success of IGMDP so much so that he is called "The Missile Man Of India".Too many capitals, and awkward phrasing. It could read "Many commentators consider A.P.J. Kalam, the current president of India, to be the person most responsible for the success of the program. (?) called him "the missile man of India."" As you'll see, you'll need to say who called him that.
"During the fight against the British Troops, Tipu Sultan's Army, used a number of improvised weapons which included rockets to thwart the British invasion." The second comma is not needed. There are quite a few other superfluous commas in the article.
"In 1970s Indian government decided to manufacture the anti-tank missiles under license from France," This should read "In the 1970s the Indian government decided to manufacture anti-tank missiles...". Be careful where you put your "the"s.
"However, by this time, DRDL developed the infrastructure and facilities to undertake the design and development of missiles" Should read "DRDL had developed..."

I hope this is helpful. Best of luck with the article. MLilburne 17:36, 28 October 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I hope you don't mind difficult suggestions. First, you ought to be clear about the subject of the article (thinking about its categories should help). It looks like IGMDP is the umbrella for all indigenous missile development since the 1980s. So is the article about the government program, or modern Indian missiles? And Tipu Sultan?? The content looks to me like it should be placed as the lead article in Category:Guided missiles of India - so why not call it Guided missiles of India? If you choose to stay with IGMDP then I think the text needs quite a bit more about the program and its politics. (There's a bad US program example at DD(X).) Best of luck! Mereda 16:59, 1 November 2006 (UTC)[reply]