Wikipedia:Peer review/James Goodnight/archive1

James Goodnight

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I helped develop a first draft of the article with a WP:COI, which brought it up to C class. I would like to work on a second draft that would be ready for a GA review and felt getting feedback from an impartial editor would really help feed the process. CorporateM (Talk) 01:53, 19 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Lead is too short, at least two paras are required per WP:LEAD.
Image caption shouldn't have a full stop nor should it repeat Goodnight's first name.
Still looking a little bit fan-like, with "now a multi-billion dollar company, have been widely studied".... for instance. Perhaps state something like "a company with a turnover of x billion", and reduce "widely studied" to just "studied" or similar?
Non-US readers may not have a clue what NC means.
"Software Engineer" no need to capitalise Engineer.
Inventor is mentioned in the infobox but nowhere else.
"he got a job" reads clumsily to me.
Don't link individual years (e.g. 2002).
Consider linking "Master's".
"As owner of two-thirds of one of the world’s largest software companies" unnecessary. Really is fancruft. Just state the facts in a neutral tone, i.e. He is the 43rd richest American.
"There is some speculation about Goodnight’s retirement and succession plan. In 2008, Goodnight said he was not considering retirement.[17][24]" pretty pointless pair of sentences.
Most of the See also links can be woven into the article.
Publisher of ref 6?
Access dates for all the online refs?

The Rambling Man (talk) 18:27, 29 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]