Jump to content

Wikipedia:Peer review/Malmö FF/archive1

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because to improve it would need an extra pair of eyes and I believe the article could reach "Good article" status or even "Featured article" status with some improvements and I would very much appreciate any opinions on how to reach these goals for this article. The section which needs most attention is the "Notable players" section, I'm having a hard time specifying the list criteria within this section, any suggestions will be appreciated. I will also happily accept any suggestions on new sections in the article or removing a section. I can also add that this article can be compared to related article IFK Göteborg, also a swedish football club with simular status as Malmö FF, an article which has reached FA status. I believe this article (Malmö FF) is equally as good as the IFK Göteborg article or even better.

Thanks, Reckless182 (talk) 17:41, 9 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Finetooth comments: This sounds like a very good team that would be fun to follow. To reach GA with this article, you will at least need to improve the prose, add sources for the unsourced parts of the article, improve the layout, and make sure the image-description pages are complete and correct. I don't know enough about football to say whether or not the article is sufficiently broad in coverage, but it looks at least close. Here are my suggestions and comments.

LayoutcheckY

  • The Manual of Style suggests keeping images completely inside of the sections they illustrate. File:Malmoffplayers1962.jpg overlaps two sections and displaces a section head. It should be moved up into the "First years in Allsvenskan and early glory" section. Done
  • File:Nya Malmö Stadion.jpg also overlaps two sections. Perhaps one of the three stadium images could go into another section, or perhaps one of the images could be deleted. Done

SourcingcheckY

  • Quite a few paragraphs in the article are without sources, and parts of other paragraphs are unsourced. In the "Early years" section, for example, the second and third paragraphs need sources. A good rule of thumb is to provide a source for every paragraph as well as every set of statistics, every direct quotation, and every claim that is unusual. If one source supports a whole paragraph, the inline citation should go at the very end of the paragraph. Typically, many paragraphs have multiple citations here and there inside them, as needed, as well as one at the end that covers at least the final sentence or sentences. If you look again at IFK Göteborg, you will see the pattern I am talking about.  Done

Subject-verb agreementcheckY

  • In the first sentence of the lead, "club" is matched with "is", a singular verb, but in the second sentence it is matched with a singular verb "has" and a plural pronoun "them". In a U.S.-centric article, the singular forms would be the norm, and in U.K.-centric articles the plural would be the norm. Thus in a U.S.-centric article the second sentence would read, "Formed in 1910, the club has won 16 national championship titles and 14 national cup titles, making it one of the most successful clubs in Sweden". In a U.K.-centric article, it would read, "Formed in 1910, the club have won 16 national championship titles and 14 national cup titles, making them one of the most successful clubs in Sweden". You can see the U.K. pattern in History of Bradford City A.F.C., for example. IFK Göteborg, which you mention above, begins like a U.S.-centric article, matching "club" with "it", but later in the lead matching "club" with "they". I see this as a flaw in the IFK Göteborg article, which is a good but not perfect model. Would a Swedish newspaper say "Malmö FF is" or "Malmö FF are"? Would it say "the club have won", or would it say, "the club has won"? My suggestion would be to choose one (club as a plural noun) or the other (club as a singular noun) and stick with it throughout the article. Done

CopyeditingcheckY

ReferencescheckY

  • The citations to Swedish-language publications and web sites should include the |language=Swedish parameter in the citation templates. See IFK Göteborg for examples of how this is done.  Done

Image licensescheckY

A few other commentscheckY

  • In the lede: "For this, Malmö FF were awarded the Svenska Dagbladet Gold Medal, as of 2010 the only club to have been so." - Maybe "as of 2010 the only club so honored"?  Done
  • In "Early years": "... the club was relegated... " - Link to Promotion and relegation for readers unfamiliar with football leagues? Done
  • In "First years in Allsvenskan and early glory": "The club had paid their players a small sum of money for each game, something which was against the rules at the time but which was common to do by many clubs;" - Perhaps "... which many clubs commonly did"?  Done
  • In "First years in Allsvenskan and early glory": "The unofficial version of the events tells the story that it was in fact local rival IFK Malmö who reported this to the Swedish Football Association." - Tighten to "The unofficial version of events suggests that local rival IFK Malmö reported the violation to the Swedish Football Association"? Done
  • In "First years in Allsvenskan and early glory": "Many of Malmö FF fans, especially among the older ones, still think of IFK Malmö's way of acting as an act of treason." - Tighten to "Many Malmö FF fans, especially older ones, still think of IFK Malmö's actions as treason"? Done
  • In "First years in Allsvenskan and early glory": "In the same year legendary chairman Eric Persson was elected after being secretary since 1929, he would go on to serve as chairman until 1974." - Delete "legendary"? If you choose to keep "legendary", you should provide a source.  Done
    • I chose to remove "legendary" as it is hard to support the statement and I believe that it may be too subjective for the article, even though I am a fan of the club I want a neautral point of view.--Reckless182 (talk) 09:47, 17 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I hope these suggestions prove helpful. If so, please consider reviewing another article, especially one from the PR backlog at WP:PR; that is where I found this one. I don't usually watch the PR archives or check corrections or changes. If my comments are unclear, please ping me on my talk page. Finetooth (talk) 02:36, 17 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]