Wikipedia:Peer review/Maya Angelou/archive2

Maya Angelou

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I've listed this article for peer review because it was suggested by its previous reviewer to submit it for another PR before it's submitted to FAC. The first review was very helpful, and provided me with some great input of improving this article. I'd like to have additional feedback as per that advice.

Thanks, Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 23:16, 25 April 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I reviewed this article, and I also agree with Figureskatingfan regarding its good condition. I support its submission to FAC. Thanks, Ax1om77 (talk) 19:56, 15 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Is that all you got for me? ;) Seriously, if you or anyone else has any suggestions for improvement, I'd appreciate it. Unless the consensus is that it's ready for FAC; then I'll go ahead and submit it. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 21:44, 15 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll write an in depth review on the subject in a couple hours. THX, Ax1om77 21:45, 15 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Cryptic C62.

Resolved comments have been moved to the peer review talk page.

"When Angelou was 14, she and her brother returned to live with her mother in Oakland, California." How could she return to Oakland if she had never lived there before?
Yes, that's very unclear. How about: When Angelou was 14, she and her brother returned to their mother's care in Oakland, California?
Err, I don't see how that solves the problem. It still uses "return", which implies that they were going somewhere they had already been. Why not just "When Angelou was 14, she and her brother went to live with her mother in Oakland, California." ? --Cryptic C62 · Talk 18:08, 22 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Well, it's very important because their mother abandoned them and they were basically bounced back and forth between her and their grandmother, and that abandonment is an important theme in Angelou's life and writings. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 19:30, 22 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Which do you feel is more important in an encyclopedia article: using language that reflects the themes in the subject's works, or clarity? --Cryptic C62 · Talk 22:19, 27 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
There's no reason why both can't happen. I'm sorry, I don't know how the current sentence is unclear. Could you make a suggestion about how we can convey both concepts clearly?
Here's one possibility: "When Angelou was 14, she and her brother moved in with their mother once again; she had since moved to Oakland, California." This emphasizes the back-and-forth nature of her upbringing without implying that she had ever been to Oakland before. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 21:15, 28 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
That's fine, went ahead and put it in!

The quote boxes are also inconsistent in their punctuation. Some appear without quotation marks, some appear with, and one ends with a single quotation mark without there being one at the beginning. Eep! --Cryptic C62 · Talk 22:19, 27 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Got it! Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 15:35, 28 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]
On a related note (which I should have seen the first time), the quote boxes should also be consistent in their use of dashes. I see all of the following being used in the article:
"...Lincoln.--Reviewer John McWhorter" No space, two hyphens

"...music. Maya Angelou" Line break, no hyphens or dashes

"...Aaaahhhh!—Maya Angelou" No space, em dash

"defeated. --Maya Angelou" One space, two hyphens
Yes, you should have seen it! And so should have I! ;) Thanks, I think they're all consistent now. Anything else? ;) Seriously, though, I appreciate the thoroughness of this review. It will save me grief at FAC. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:38, 30 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I hope this helps! --Cryptic C62 · Talk 00:02, 17 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, it helps bunches! Thanks so much. It looks like there are a couple of issues leftover, so once they're resolved, and the article I have languishing at GAC is reviewed, I'd like to submit it to FAC. Whoo hoo! Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:55, 18 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I think you should go ahead and nominate this at FAC. Others may see prose problems I missed or point out missing information (as I'm sure you've seen before), but I think this article is in damn good shape. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 17:29, 31 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Ah thanks, C! I appreciate the assistance, and the encouragement. I intend on submitting this article, but I don't believe in having more than one article for any review at the same time. Currently, Format of Sesame Street is languishing at GAC, and has been for almost three months! The backlog there is horribly long, so I may go and review an article there to do my part in helping it decrease. It might be a good use of your time, too! ;) At any rate, I'll let you know when this gets to FAC. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:02, 31 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]