Wikipedia:Peer review/Trumpkin/archive1

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I have pretty much written this article and want to know how I did. Bornagain4 17:54, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

  • You did a good job trying to keep it in an out of universe perspective. The article is so short the subsections are unneccesary. The Prince Caspian, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and The Silver Chair should be merged into one large section. It will make the article much easier to read. The article needs to be copyedited. The first sentence in the main body "The heavy majority of Trumpkin's story is told in Prince Caspian." needs to be rewritten. It should read something like "Trumpkin is introduced in C.S. Lewis' 1951 novel, Prince Caspian." The intro should recap what is found within the article. For example you do not describe what Trumpkin is within the article's body. The second sentence should read something like "Trumpkin is a dwarf and the leader "True Narnian" underground, a group hiding from the Prince Caspian's main villian, King Miraz." (Having never read the story, I'm assuming King Miraz is the main villian) The whole article needs copyediting similar to this. As I mentioned the article is short. I know these novels are metaphorical, so does this character represent something or someone? If he does, (or if people believe he does) add that information within the article, but don't forget to reference these statements. Medvedenko 03:55, 2 September 2006 (UTC)
Thanx alot, thats helpful. Bornagain4 18:07, 2 September 2006 (UTC)