Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 December 20

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http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carey_Torrice&oldid=403102582[edit]

Please review for publication.


Eyespy48026 (talk) 00:44, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

EyeSpy, I've posted to Talk:Carey Torrice that she might not be notable, as she's just a local politician and her movie roles have been small. I don't know if the Inside Edition and TMZ items are enough to establish notability. I would re-arrange the article to emphasize those two items - start with the existing opening sentence, then put both the TMZ and IE items in a sentence after that, moving the rest of her bio to a separate paragraph. --Habap (talk) 16:35, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

19ninetynine[edit]

This is the first article I've created and as such wish to receive feedback to make sure its referenced properly, neutral and notable etc. It is an article about a Lancastrian electronic band.


Labrat256 01:37, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Josephbeesley/Charles_Ejogo[edit]

please can one of the editors provide feedback and an appraisal on my first article. I am especially hoping that you can inform me whether you consider the content and format to be up to the standard of your other articles, and also whether the references are suitable and relevant. The article is about Charles Ejogo, the first ever winner of the Dragons Den, whom I researched as part of my business thesis.

Thanks.


Josephbeesley (talk) 01:46, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

Hiya,
The article looks pretty good for a first article. The structure is fine, and the content seems mostly good. I think the statement "Seven months later, the deal collapsed [3] and taking the advice of Dragon Peter Jones, Ejogo set up a new Company without his original business partners, allowing him to start afresh." could be potentially misleading - the last part implies that there was some problem with his original business partners, which was not stated in the source you gave. Also, "Ejogo is married, and has two children, Max aged 4, and Lola aged 2." will be out of date in a year, so if you want to give the childrens ages it's better to give their birth years (although maybe the ages of his children aren't necessary for the article - I'm not sure whether there's a wikipedia policy on this).
There are problems with some of the references from this article. Wikipedia is especially stringent about verifiability for biographies of living people. Wikipedia:Identifying reliable sources explains what sources are allowed. www.lammo.net seems to be a blog so wouldn't be considered a reliable source (it looks useful for finding out information, but you need to find reliable sources to verify that information). filmreference.com looks questionable too.
It's also important that the source actually proves the statement in the article. For example, the worldofphoto.com link doesn't seem to mention any relationship between Photo-Me and Umbrolly.
Overall it looks very promising, but needs references improving. Too many references is better than too few! Good luck, feel free to contact me if you have any questions. --Hermajesty21 (talk) 21:30, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Tkotc/Jessie Belle Rittenhouse[edit]

This is another short article I wrote to further work on the WikiProject Missing Encyclopedic Articles (Project Gutenberg authors). See Wikipedia:Project Gutenberg author list if you might be interested in this project. Any feedback welcome.


Tkotc (talk) 02:20, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

User:CBuiltother/Occidental_Petroleum_Financial_performance[edit]

I'd like to add this subsection to help improve the Occidental Petroleum article. I've noticed some other corporate articles have similar sections, like British_Airways#Financial_performance. Although this is probably a trivial and non-controversial addition, due to a potential conflict of interest, I'd like to receive feedback/approval from the community before editing. I've asked for feedback on the article's talk page, but it isn't very active. Any feedback would be appreciated!

CBuiltother (talk) 02:22, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

Dia_De_Los_Muertos_(Band)[edit]

Calaverin (talk) 02:39, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

Arizona Women in Tune[edit]

AZWIT is the premier lesbian-oriented choir in Arizona and is a member of GALA.


Ttguitar (talk) 03:04, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

Shelley_Bennett[edit]

Please give feedback. Thanks.


99.11.156.162 (talk) 04:54, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

User:BatBoypinata/Kevin_Greatrex[edit]

Kevin greatrex AUSTRALIAN BASEBALL STAR

BatBoypinata (talk) 05:16, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Amelia.longbottom/Careers In The Outdoors[edit]

Hiya,

Any help would be very much appreciated, my article has already been deleted once for advertising, and I could really do with some help editing it.

Careers In The Outdoors is a yearly careers event for people seeking employment in the outdoors sector. This year it is happeneing at the London Outdoors Show, with the London Boat Show (already has a page within wiki) and the London Bike Show.

Thanks for all your help

Amelia.longbottom (talk) 10:50, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

Flight_Design_aircraft_LSA[edit]

This is an article carrying only a general information about Flight Design company and brings for audience only wide information. Please approve it and futher tell how to put article in common use not in draft. Thanks for the answer.Flyingved (talk) 12:21, 20 December 2010 (UTC)


Flyingved (talk) 12:21, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

User:LiveArts/Philadelphia_Live_Arts_Festival_&_Philly_Fringe[edit]

How can I add pictures? What else would be interesting to know about this organization?

LiveArts (talk) 17:09, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

Pic Micro Pascal - updated[edit]

Hi, The article had been updated, please review this small article to remove the "new unreviewed article" tag. Regards, PPA94 (talk) 18:07, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

National_Agents_Alliance[edit]

Have added sources and would like to know how to get my article reviewed

24.206.33.234 (talk) 21:07, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

Jay A. Parry[edit]

This is a new page about LDS author Jay A. Parry. Please review and provide feedback. Thank you.


Capzylo (talk) 21:14, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

User:Zachlyon/Minute7[edit]

This is an article for reference about a web application, Minute7, ultimately to be linked at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_time_tracking_software

Though I am an owner of this company, I tried to be as benign and unselling as possible, which is why it's still a user page. I wanted some feedback and then hopefully I can push to a real page? We were recently featured in Entrepreneur Magazine and I wanted to back that up with a legitimate Wiki page.

Thanks in advance for any feedback!

Zachlyon (talk) 23:03, 20 December 2010 (UTC)

ProjectManager.com[edit]

Hi, Still waiting for someone to review this page if possible.... I believe I have cited notable sources and this company's software is world renowned (and I'm a great advocate for Kiwi stuff in Wiki!!). If someone could review this and maybe check my source citing I would really appreciate it !!

Rachnzl (talk) 03:39, 21 December 2010 (UTC)