Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Stephen Trigg/Archive 1
This just failed a GA nomination and so I've worked on it some more, but honestly I think I'm too involved now to look on it objectively. Any feedback or criticisms welcome! plange 03:32, 11 August 2006 (UTC)
Hmmm... You are a Trigg as well! Interesting! Very nice and well-sourced article. But I think you already know that. I'm not experienced in peer-review suggestions, but I'll try to make a few comments:
- The most obvious thing first of all: It is not nice that there is no photo of Trigg. When I see the infobox, I'd like to have a photo of him and not of the county named in his honor.
- I'd like to have a short explanation (half a sentence) of what is a Justice of the Peace. Of course you link it, but I'd like to go to Justice of the Peace just for further information and not for a simple explanation. Beyond that I feel bombarded with terminology concernig the political institutions and organization of Virginia. But I donot think there is much to be done about that. In any case, it is difficult for a non-American to follow a terminology such as Committee of Safety, Committee of Correspondence, Revolutionary Convention etc. A non-American gets tired, since he needs some further explanation about all these things.
- "Trigg one of several appointed as its first Justice of the Peace, and he also served as magistrate". Is there a verb missing here ("Trigg [was] one...") or my English is poor? It may well be the second, since I'm not a native speaker!
- You mention twice that Stephen Trigg Logan was the law partner of Abraham Lincoln in Springfield. This repetition may be necessary, but when I first read the article I thought: "Oh! Come on now! I just read that a few lines before!"
- I read in a template: "It is true than an unhappy Difference..." Is "than" correct?
I cannot find anything else!--Yannismarou 19:59, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks Yannismarou! I will work on your suggestions, I really appreciate it! Unfortunately one I won't be able to do anything about because I have been unsuccessful in finding a photo or portrait of him... :-( plange 20:15, 17 August 2006 (UTC)
- Okay, I think I've addressed all your points! Thanks so much for the feedback! plange 22:18, 19 August 2006 (UTC)
Hi. I'd like to give some comments concerning the quotes in the quotation templates. I do not know about the rules on their usage, so I am making an assumption to give some opinions. Please excuse me and ignore my comments if there are existing rules!
- The use of the quotation template is a bit disturbing while reading the article but that is my own personal opinion. However, my impression is that the template should be used to quote something that Stephen Trigg said or wrote (and only if it is something profound or noteworthy), not simply what a historian said. Normally the Virginia Webb Howard quote would be placed in a footnote and not as part of the main text.
- The picture of Oconostota overlaps with the quotation of the letter from the colonists and it makes it look like Oconostota made the quote! Again, the use of the template does not seem appropriate here. I would put this in the footnotes as well.
- The last two quotes from the references are dangerously close to peacock terms. It's true that they are referenced, but without sufficient context (as one could get by reading the original source), they appear disconnected from the article. I would recommend removing these or if they remain in the text, provide more context on the qualities that the quotes had noted about Trigg (i.e., his popularity, intelligence, physique, bravery, Indian-fighting abilities, etc.).
I hope this helps! RelHistBuff 12:01, 18 August 2006 (UTC)
- Thanks! I got clarification on the usage of the quotation template and changed accordingly - I also took out the pic of Oconostota... I took out the last pull quote as I had reservations about it myself when I put it in, and so you just confirmed that it was a bad idea :-) Is the one that's left okay? It's not as peacocky sounding and seems to sum up his article. plange 22:50, 21 August 2006 (UTC)
- It looks better overall. The final quote looks fine, at least for your article. I guess these things should be use sparingly. Seeing your use of the quotation template, I experimented with it myself by including a final quote (an obituary) at the end of the article I am working on, but afterwards I decided against its inclusion. The prominent appearance of the quote made it appear too much like pushing a POV. But in your case, it is quite modest. RelHistBuff 09:25, 23 August 2006 (UTC)