Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Ehime Maru and USS Greeneville collision
Respectfully request a peer review for this article on a maritime accident between a U.S. Navy submarine and a Japanese high school fishing training ship. Cla68 08:08, 12 July 2007 (UTC)
Hongooi
[edit]Looks really good. Just a couple of things:
- I don't think you need the parenthetical (U.S.) in the lead paragraph.
- What is an "admiral's mast"? I gather it's some sort of reprimand, but it should be made clear for a non-naval audience.
Other than that, I'm really impressed. Good stuff. -- Hongooi 13:49, 12 July 2007 (UTC)
I agree woth Hongooi, it does look good. I also agree that "admirals mast" should be explained, I would aslo like to see "captains reprisal" explained as well. TomStar81 (Talk) 22:25, 12 July 2007 (UTC)
- Thank you both for your helpful comments. Cla68 02:38, 13 July 2007 (UTC)
Kirill Lokshin
[edit]Very nice article, as usual. A few comments:
- The infobox is rather crudely designed: no padding, single-color bordering, etc. This isn't really something you're responsible for, of course; but it does detract from the overall impact of the article. I'll try and play around with it a bit if I get a chance.
- Is there potential for an article on the DVE? It seems like it could warrant one, but I'm not exactly an expert on the topic.
- Having "Immediate aftermath" and "Aftermath" as section titles seems a bit too convoluted. Perhaps the latter could be changed to something like "Later events"? Alternately, you could create a "Long-term consequences" section to collect that and the relations discussion together.
- A slightly confusing point: Seacrest was "given immunity", but faced the same punishment as Waddle, who wasn't. Presumably "immunity" is being used to mean only immunity from a court-martial? Or is there something obvious I'm missing here?
Keep up the great work! Kirill 03:57, 13 July 2007 (UTC)
- Unfortunately, there isn't a "maritime disaster" infobox so I had to use that generic one that doesn't look that great. I appreciate any help you could give to that infobox. I'm not sure that I could find enough sources for a DVE article but I'll look at starting a stub on it based on some of the sources used for this article. I'll change the section titles as you suggest. Actually, I don't fully understand what happened to Seacrest either. If he was given immunity from court martial, then they shouldn't have been able to take him to a captain's mast, because with nonjudicial punishment, the servicemember is supposed to have the option of refusing it and taking it to court martial if they want to. I think immunity meant that his testimony in the inquiry couldn't be used as evidence against him in any disciplinary action but, the sources aren't clear on this point.
- Thanks again, as always, for your helpful suggestions and assistance. Cla68 04:18, 13 July 2007 (UTC)
- Okay, I put in some padding on the template; hopefully that change sticks. It may be worthwhile to create a MILHIST generic infobox for use in cases like this; we can allow arbitrary fields while still retaining the normal styling. Kirill 04:28, 13 July 2007 (UTC)
- It looks much better now. Thanks a lot. Cla68 06:39, 13 July 2007 (UTC)
- Okay, I put in some padding on the template; hopefully that change sticks. It may be worthwhile to create a MILHIST generic infobox for use in cases like this; we can allow arbitrary fields while still retaining the normal styling. Kirill 04:28, 13 July 2007 (UTC)
LordAmeth
[edit]Looks great. A minor comment on the spelling of many of the Japanese names: Should not Hisao Ohnishi, Yoshiro Mori, and Yohei Kono be written as Hisao Ōnishi, Yoshirō Mori, and Yōhei Kōnō? Otherwise, I'm afraid I don't really have any suggestions for you. Good work! LordAmeth 12:32, 14 July 2007 (UTC)
- That probably is the case so I'll change the names as suggested. Thank you. Cla68 02:39, 16 July 2007 (UTC)