|South Park episode|
|Episode no.||Season 11
|Directed by||Trey Parker|
|Written by||Trey Parker|
|Featured music||"Come to My Window" by Melissa Etheridge|
|Original air date||April 11, 2007|
"D-Yikes!" is the sixth episode of the eleventh season of the American animated sitcom South Park. It first aired on Comedy Central in the United States on April 11, 2007. In the episode, frustrated with men, Mrs. Garrison makes the boys write an essay on The Old Man and the Sea. The boys hire Mexican day laborers to do the job for them, but they misinterpret the term "essay." Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrison has become a lesbian and finds the bar she hangs out in is about to be taken over by Persian club owners. Mrs. Garrison takes a stand in the name of saving the one place that lets her be the woman she is.
When the episode begins, Mrs. Garrison storms into her classroom enraged over a failed date, and takes her rage out on her male students with an essay assignment over the weekend, making them read The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway in its entirety. At Cartman's urging, they hire local Mexican laborers looking for work to read the book and write their essays for them. When they come back for their essays on Monday morning, they find out that the Mexicans misunderstood them, and instead of writing essays they wrote to their éses, a slang term in Chicano Spanish for friends. Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrison is working out at Curves when she meets a woman named Allison. Allison invites her to "Les Bos" (pronounced "le-bo"), a nearby bar, but Mrs. Garrison is shocked to find out that everybody there is a lesbian. Allison asks if Mrs. Garrison had ever imagined being with another woman. After some initial hesitation, Mrs. Garrison is soon seduced, and the two leave to engage in scissoring.
Mrs. Garrison's new sexual liaison improves her spirits, and she gives the boys more time with their essays. Garrison returns to Les Bos and becomes sociable with all the women, but then is shocked to discover that the bar is being sold to Persians, who plan to make it into a Club Persh Dance Club. Soon after, the Persians send a representative to see the women at the bar. The representative tries to persuade the women there will be no real change, as the lesbians will still be welcome. Nevertheless, it will no longer be solely a lesbian bar, and will be decorated with stereotypically Persian decorations. Mrs. Garrison kicks the messenger in the testicles in retaliation. After the representative returns to the Persian's club, an army of sixty other Persians prepare to storm the bar, but they fail to defeat the women. The remaining Persians go to see their boss, Rauf Xerxes, who decides to handle the situation personally.
Mrs. Garrison decides that the lesbians need a spy inside Club Persh, in order to find illegal activity to use as blackmail, and hires the Mexicans to spy on the Persians. Later, Xerxes arrives, and attempts to reason with Mrs. Garrison, even offering her the job of running the club when he takes control. Mrs. Garrison declines, and tells Xerxes that she knows the Persian leader's secret, found out by the Mexicans — Xerxes is actually a woman. Xerxes is shocked that Mrs. Garrison knows her secret, and says that the other Persians cannot know, as women cannot be in charge in Persian culture. Mrs. Garrison agrees, and in a parallel of her own seduction by Allison, she seduces Xerxes and the two engage in scissoring. Xerxes decides to keep Les Bos a lesbian bar, and is seen at the bar herself. Mrs. Garrison then explains that the school has hired substitutes to take over her class for a while, who turn out to be the same Mexicans again. The boys then decide that the Mexicans are better teachers than Mrs. Garrison. During the math lesson, the Mexicans are explaining how to add fractions, when Kyle remarks, "I think I'm actually learning something".
IGN rated this episode 6.5 passable and said "There are some funny moments, as is almost always the case with any episode of this series. When Ms. Garrison first realizes he's a lesbian and tells the class "I'm gay!" Everyone is a little confused and Stan says "Again?" The joke about "writing essays" is a good laugh. Another moment is when "Janet" Garrison first figures out how two women make love and there's a smash cut to he and his new girlfriend "scissoring." It's a shock moment and makes you wonder how they get away with stuff like this. However, when they use the joke again at the end, it's now not nearly as funny. You can't shock the audience twice with the same joke - it just doesn't work that way."
- D-Yikes! Full episode at South Park Studios
- D-Yikes! Episode guide at South Park Studios
- "D-Yikes!" at the Internet Movie Database
- D-Yikes! at TV.com