Talk:Holiday in the Protectorate

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The lead is almost unreadable[edit]

The lead of a Wikipedia article should summarise the article. But the lead of this article is almost all about a controversy. It does not start by explaining what the article is about. It says it's an "original format", which is obviously false, it's not a format. It seems that it's a video available online, or a television programme, or a television series; this ought to be explained. Then it launches straight into an incoherent discussion of a controversy, without first making it clear what the controversy was about. It mentions "real wartime survivors", without explaining what war.

And the lead, with the rest of the article, is strongly WP:POV. I agree with the writer's views, but phrases like "Is is salutary to see" have no place in an encyclopedia article. The article should tell us first about the TV series, and then about the controversy, without sermonising. Maproom (talk) 09:37, 14 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The article is now very much better. Thank you, Jdcooper. Maproom (talk) 19:44, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I still need to sort out the section on "criticism" (currently commented out) which is the hard bit, but at least it looks like an article now! Jdcooper (talk) 20:26, 22 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

External links modified[edit]

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