Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Red Tail Reborn

Add links
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
  • Not promoted no consensus for promotion after being open for 28+ days -MBK004 21:13, 19 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Red Tail Reborn[edit]

Nominator(s): TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)
Toolbox

I am nominating this article for A-Class review because it recently passed WP:GAC, but could use further refinement. TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 19:24, 22 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Commments
    • No dab links are reported to be in the article. Two image are reported to be in need of alt text, and one external link is reported to be suspicious, please check and advise.
    • More to follow... TomStar81 (Talk) 06:19, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • There are two dead external links in the article, these need to be found and fixed before I can support.
    • Can we maybe expand the intro to include two paragraphs? That would make the article look more professional, IMO.
    • I would move the images on the left down to the history and production section, as it is the images and the infobox are working to squish the text together, and it makes the article hard to read at smaller screen sizes. TomStar81 (Talk) 15:20, 6 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support I'd feel better about the intro having two paragraphs, but otherwise this looks good to go. TomStar81 (Talk) 18:34, 9 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments: Overall I think this article meets A class criteria. I have just a couple of comments/suggestions that I'd like a response to before supporting. These are as follows:
    • in the Story section the noun "black" is used (as in African American people). To be honest, I don't know what the WP policy is on this, so I just wanted to check if it is ok to use this term. I don' t have a problem with it, but just want to make sure it is not going to be an issue;
    • in the History and production section you use the abbrievation "WWII" and "Col." without having previously introduced them (i.e put them in brackets beside the full term);
    • please consider if all the images are required (I won't oppose on this though, as images are a personal preference);
      • DVD covers are pretty standard. The other images are just to help the reader understand the subject. We could get by with less than three, but since we have them, I don't see why not.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:45, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • in the Airings and DVD release section, the word "reaired" - should this be hyphenated as "re-aired"?
    • the Tuskegee Airmen template at the bottom might look better collapsed (just a suggestion, not a requirement for me to support).
      • If it were bigger I would collapse it. It looks O.K. to me at 1600 pixels wide. May be a bit long with narrower display settings, but I think it is tolerable.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 04:54, 11 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Anyway, that is it from me. Good work so far. Cheers. — AustralianRupert (talk) 23:14, 10 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • All my concerns have been addressed. What is the status of this review, has anything been done to address Ruth's concerns below? — AustralianRupert (talk) 14:00, 17 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose

  • Very interesting article but difficult to read, and its organization and flow are uneven. I remember reading another article on the project itself, and this one suffers from the same prose problems. There are some awkward prose moments, and you might want to make another run-through (or have someone do it for you).
    • The first paragraph of "story" is good, but the section falls apart after that.
    • In the second section, History and Production, you've got content that belongs in the first section.
    • There are quite a few glaring prose problems:
      • for example, "One of these veterans interviewed was WWII, Korean War and Vietnam War veteran Col. Charles McGee, whom White said had more combat flight hours than any American.
      • The two sentences before that are very awkward as well.Did he interview 13 guys who live near Cleveland? Or did he interview 13 guys, some of whom lived near Cleveland? Or do 13 of the original Tuskegee Airmen come from Cleveland, but he interviewed T.A. regardless of where they came from....? Or something else.
      • in the last section, for example, "The film by White was..." I think here you can just say the film. We're talking about White as the producer/grand pobah, and its unnecessary to say the film by White. Possibly White's film, but that makes White the focus, not the Airmen. Auntieruth55 (talk) 23:46, 10 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

For example:

Among those that Cleveland filmmaker White interviewed to make the film were 13 of the Tuskegee airmen. Several of the Tuskegee Airmen were from the northeast Ohio region.[1] I still don't understand if he interviewed Ohio Airmen, or this is just an extraneous bit of information. One of the veterans interviewed was Colonel Charles McGee, who had served in WWII, the Korean War and the Vietnam War and whom White said had more combat flight hours than any other American.[1] (and....? so what. What did he say? Why is this important to include?) Colonel Charles McGee, who had served in WW2, KW, VW, and whom White said had more combat flight hours than any other America .... was he a TA? From hereThe film was shot in Billings, Montana.[2] The film was produced to help increase awareness and elicit financial support for The Red Tail Project.[3] The film was produced by Cleveland-based Hemlock Films, which is White's production company.[4] It was underwritten by the Parker Hannifin Corporation.[5] to here doesn't belong in this paragraph. Tell us more about the interviews in this paragraph. Then you can give us stuff on the production. this whole paragraph needs rewording The film was inspired while White was filming The Restorers, after a P-51C Mustang landed for refueling and White met Doug Rozendaal, the pilot of the Red Tail Project's Tuskegee Airmen plane. When White heard Don Hinz had been killed in a crash of that very same plane, he felt compelled to do a story focusing on it. Once he got involved in the project, a local PBS station committed to airing the final product, which was an early step in the successful development of the project. When researching the film he noticed a lack of resources about the Tuskegee Airmen and felt driven to fill the void.[6]


White was filming The Restorers in XXXX, when a P-51C landed at the airport for refueling. What attracted him to the plane In conversation, Doug Rozendaal, the plane's pilot, told him that the well-known Don Hinz, a restorer and P51 affecionado,or something had been killed in a crash of that very same plane. White was inspired to tel the story of the plane, the Airmen, and Hinz. While researching the project, he realized that the Tuskegee Airmen story had not been told. Gradually, the story came together: the plane, the Airmen, and Don Hinz. An Ohio PBS station agreed to air the film.

  1. ^ a b Goshay, Charita M. (2008-02-05). "Story of Tuskegee Airmen to air on PBS". The Repository. Retrieved 2010-01-01.
  2. ^ "Trivia for Red Tail Reborn (2007)". IMDb.com. Retrieved 2009-12-31.
  3. ^ Doss, Robert (2008-08-22). "Red Tail Project takes flight again". Palos Verdes Peninsula News. Retrieved 2010-01-01.
  4. ^ "Film Maker To Speak At Aviation Hall Of Fame Dec. 17TH Event". Hemlock Films. Retrieved 2010-03-21.
  5. ^ "Western Reserve Public Media" (PDF). Retrieved March 21, 2010.
  6. ^ Cite error: The named reference RTRPBS was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page, such as the current discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:WikiProject_Military_history/Assessment/Red_Tail_Reborn&oldid=676858984"