North (1994 film)

North
Theatrical release poster
Directed by	Rob Reiner
Written by	Novel: Alan Zweibel Screenplay: Alan Zweibel Andrew Scheinman
Produced by	Rob Reiner Alan Zweibel Andrew Scheinman
Starring	Elijah Wood Jason Alexander Julia Louis-Dreyfus Bruce Willis Jon Lovitz Alan Arkin Dan Aykroyd Reba McEntire Lauren Tom Keone Young
Narrated by	Bruce Willis
Cinematography	Adam Greenberg
Edited by	Robert Leighton
Music by	Marc Shaiman
Production company	Castle Rock Entertainment
Distributed by	Columbia Pictures (USA) New Line Cinema
Release date	July 22, 1994 (USA)
Running time	87 min.
Country	United States
Language	English
Budget	$40,000,000 (estimated)
Box office	$7,138,449 (USA)

North is a 1994 film directed by Rob Reiner, and starring Elijah Wood, Bruce Willis, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Dan Aykroyd, Reba McEntire, and Alan Arkin. The story is based on the novel North: The Tale of a 9-Year-Old Boy Who Becomes a Free Agent and Travels the World in Search of the Perfect Parents by Alan Zweibel, who also wrote the screenplay and has a minor role in the film. This is also Scarlett Johansson's debut film.

Plot

The movie begins with North (Elijah Wood) listening to his parents (Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus) argue at the dinner table. North has a panic attack, and begins to lose consciousness. As he does, the narrator (Bruce Willis) explains that North is having difficulties with his parents, putting a damper on what is otherwise a successful life; North is a child prodigy who is loved by all except for his own parents. One day, while finding solace in a living room display at a mall, he is visited by a man in a pink bunny suit who claims to be the Easter Bunny (also played by Bruce Willis), to whom North explains his problems. He realizes that his parents are unable to see his talents while all of the other parents in his neighborhood can. The Easter Bunny suggests that North make up with his parents and leave them.

North then tells his friend Winchell (Matthew McCurley), who works on the school paper, about his plan to possibly divorce himself from his parents. However, he decides to give his parents one last chance by giving them a phone call. When he is blown off by his father, North officially decides to divorce himself from his parents, hiring lawyer Arthur Belt (Jon Lovitz) to do so. When the announcement of his divorce is made, his parents are shocked to the point where they are rendered comatose. With no opposition from North's parents, Judge Buckle (Alan Arkin) gives North one summer to go out and find his new parents or he'll be put in an orphanage.

North's first stop is at Texas, where he tries to spend some time with his first set of new parents (Dan Aykroyd and Reba McEntire). When North notices that they are attempting to fatten him up, they reveal that they want him to be more like their first son Buck, who died in a stampede. The last straw comes when his new parents stage a musical number about the horrible things they're going to do to him. He is later visited by a cowboy (also played by Bruce Willis) who convinces him to look for his new parents somewhere else. His next stop is Hawaii, where he meets Governor Ho and Mrs. Ho (Keone Young and Lauren Tom), who also want to adopt him. However, Governor Ho soon unveils a new billboard that features North in an embarrassing manner that will be installed along every major highway in the mainland; he hopes that people will become more inclined to settle in Hawaii knowing that North lives there. Humiliated, North has a conversation with a metal detector-wielding tourist (also played by Bruce Willis) and subsequently moves to Alaska. There, he settles into an Eskimo village with a father and mother (Graham Greene and Kathy Bates), who send their elderly grandfather (Abe Vigoda) out to sea on an ice floe so that he may die with dignity. Meanwhile, North's real parents, still comatose, are put on display in a museum (the curator of which is played by Ben Stein). Thanks to North's success, all the children in the world are threatening to leave their parents and hiring Arthur Belt as their lawyer, which propels Belt and Winchell into being the richest and most powerful people in the world.

North prepares to move in with a set of Amish parents (Alexander Godunov and Kelly McGillis), but is quickly discouraged by the lack of electricity and leaves in a hurry. After going to Africa, China and Paris, he finally settles in with a seemingly nice family (played by John Ritter, Faith Ford, Scarlett Johansson and Jesse Zeigler) that treat him as their own. However, despite this near-perfect life, North still isn't happy and leaves.

He goes to New York where he meets a singer named Joey Fingers (also played by Bruce Willis), who convinces North that "a bird in the hand is always greener than the grass under the other guy's bushes". He drives North to an airport so that he can reunite with his parents, who have snapped out of their comas. However, the children, who have taken advantage of North's case up to this point, are unwilling to let North reunite with his parents and chase him down. He is saved by a FedEx truck driver (also played by Bruce Willis), who sees himself as a guardian angel. As North rushes home to his parents before the summer is up, Winchell hires a hit man to assassinate North as he runs towards his parents' arms. Just as the hit man shoots North, North awakens in the mall, now empty, revealing that his adventures had been all a dream. North is taken back home by the man who claimed to be the Easter Bunny, and is greeted by a warm embrace from his parents.

Cast

• Elijah Wood as North
• Jason Alexander as North's Dad
• Julia Louis-Dreyfus as North's Mom
• Marc Shaiman as Piano Player
• Bruce Willis as the Narrator/Easter Bunny/Cowboy/Tourist/Sleigh Driver/Joey Fingers/FedEx Truck Driver
• Matthew McCurley as Winchell
• Jon Lovitz as Arthur Belt
• Alan Arkin as Judge Buckle
• Dan Aykroyd as Pa Tex
• Reba McEntire as Ma Tex
• Keone Young as Governor Ho
• Lauren Tom as Misses Ho
• Graham Greene as Alaskan Dad
• Kathy Bates as Alaskan Mom
• Abe Vigoda as Alaskan Grandfather
• Ben Stein as Curator
• Alexander Godunov as Amish Dad
• Kelly McGillis as Amish Mom
• Faith Ford as Donna Nelson
• John Ritter as Ward Nelson
• Scarlett Johansson as Laura Nelson
• Jesse Zeigler as Bud Nelson

Reception

North received almost entirely negative reviews, and flopped at the box office, earning about US$7 million for an estimated budget of US$40 million. North suffered severely from competition with The Lion King, Forrest Gump, True Lies, The Mask and Clear and Present Danger. In addition, it was panned by many critics for its humorless jokes, adult content, racial insensitivity, references to pedophilia, and incomprehensible plot. North was a multiple nominee at the 1994 Golden Raspberry Awards and was nominated for Worst Picture and Worst Director for Rob Reiner. As of July 2010, it has scored 11% positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and 4.2/10 on the Internet Movie Database.

Roger Ebert's review

Film critic Roger Ebert seemed especially baffled by North, noting that Wood and especially Reiner had both previously made much better films. Ebert awarded North a rare zero-star rating, and even sixteen years later it remains on his list of most hated films. His review concluded with the now-famous statement:

"I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

The review was later read at a roast for Reiner, who jokingly insisted that "if you read between the lines, [the review] isn't really that bad." An abridged version of the opening remark quoted above became the title of a 2000 book by Ebert, I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie, a compilation of reviews of films most disliked by Ebert.

Ebert's co-host of Siskel and Ebert, Gene Siskel, also hated the film, calling it "deplorable", "cataclysmically unfunny" and "first-class junk" and both critics declared it the worst film of 1994. Ebert said on the "Siskel and Ebert at the Movies" program "I hated this movie as much as any movie we [he and Siskel] have ever reviewed during the 19 years we've been doing this show. I hated it because of the premise, which seems shockingly cold-hearted, and because this premise is being suggested to kids as children's entertainment, because everybody in this movie was vulgar and stupid, and because the jokes weren't funny and because most of the characters were obnoxious and because of the phony attempt to add a little pseudo-philosophy by the Bruce Willis character." Ebert's future co-host of Ebert and Roeper, Richard Roeper, would later go on to list North as one of the 40 worst movies he's ever seen, saying that, "Of all the films on this list, North may be the most difficult to watch from start to finish."

Rights and home video releases

The film was a production of Castle Rock Entertainment, with some financing provided by New Line Cinema. When released theatrically in July 1994, North was distributed by Columbia Pictures domestically, while international distribution sales were held by New Line. On September 1995 New Line Home Video in conjunction with Columbia TriStar Home Video and Image Entertainment released North on VHS and Laserdisc formats due to New Line's original partnership with this film. In Spring 2001, Columbia Tristar Home Entertainment re-issued North purchasing full video rights from New Line but only on VHS at the time. No video re-issue is currently planned, but because New Line (and later PolyGram) originally had ancillary U.S. rights, it is likely that it will be re-issued through MGM. In any event, the current domestic distribution remains uncertain.

The film has been released on DVD outside of North America, through independent distributors, possibly the companies that originally distributed the film theatrically for New Line.

External links

• North at IMDb
• North at AllMovie
• North at Rotten Tomatoes
• A Nostalgia Critic spoof