Calgon

Calgon is a brand registered trademark of different corporations. The original product consisted of powdered sodium hexametaphosphate (amorphous sodium polyphospate), which in water would complex with ambient calcium ion and certain other cations, preventing formation of unwanted salts and interference by those cations with the actions of soap or other detergents. Its name suggests "calcium gone". Originally promoted for general use in bathing and cleaning, it gave rise to derivative products which have diverged from the original composition.

Companies

The brands have their origin in the Calgon Corporation of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which was acquired by Merck in 1968 and later broken up and sold off. Calgon was broken into:

• Calgon water softener, sold to Reckitt Benckiser. Calgonit is the brand name of Reckitt Benckiser's dishwasher detergent sold in Continental Europe.
• Calgon beauty products, sold to Coty, Inc.
• Calgon Carbon Corporation, acquired by its management in a leveraged buyout in 1985 and taken public in 1987
• Calgon Water Management, sold to English China Clays in June 1993
• Calgon Vestal Laboratories, sold to Bristol-Myers Squibb in 1994 and then to the Steris Corporation in 1996
• Nu-Calgon

Iconic advertisements

In North American pop culture, Calgon's advertisements have generated several popular catch phrases and/or definitions.

"Calgon, take me away!"

File:Coty Calgon logo.jpg

Coty's Calgon logo

In this advertisement, a woman is seen in a chaotic home scenario. As tension rises, she utters her famous line "Calgon, take me away!". The next scene shows her relaxing in a luxurious bath in a quiet room.

Despite being viewed as somewhat sexist (ie. that women need to be rescued from chaotic situations), the commercial is viewed as having been a success since people still remember it even though it has not been aired in many years. Even today, an escape from a difficult day or situation is often referred to as a Calgon moment.

"Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"

File:Calgon water softener logo.jpg

Reckitt Benckiser's Calgon logo

This commercial was for Calgon water softener.

A Caucasian woman with an American accent asks "Mr. Lee", a laundry shop owner, how he gets her shirts so clean. He replies, with what appears to be a Chinese accent, "Ancient Chinese secret."

The scene changes to Mrs. Lee, who is in an adjoining room. Mrs. Lee appears ethnically Chinese, but she speaks English with a thoroughly American accent, and explains to the audience that her husband's "ancient Chinese secret" is that he uses Calgon water softener.

Mrs. Lee ultimately gives the secret away by sticking her head into the front room where Mr. Lee and the customer are standing, and shouts "We need more Calgon!" To which the customer replies "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"

This commercial is one also remembered by people many years after it has aired. It has been viewed by some groups as continuing a stereotype that all laundry services are run by Chinese immigrants, but it could equally be viewed as a satire of that stereotype.

Although the Lees are supposedly Chinese-American, the actress playing Mrs. Lee, Anne Miyamoto, is actually Japanese-American.

Calgon water softener adverts in the United Kingdom, Ireland and in the rest of Europe promote the product solely on the basis of saving washing machines from breakdown rather than any benefits to the clothing in the wash, although the products on sale are identical to those in the United States. In Portugal, the Calgon advertisement jingle is the same popular one, for almost 30 years.

Jingles

Calgon adverts across Europe feature the same phrase and jingle translated into the local language. They are as follows:

English: "Washing machines live longer with Calgon."

German: "Waschmachinen leben langer mit Calgon."

French: "Les lave-linge durent plus longtemps avec Calgon."

Cultural References

Music

• In "Shake It Off", the third single from Mariah Carey's 2005 album The Emancipation of Mimi, Carey sings "Just like the Calgon commercial, I really gotta get up out of here..."
• Kanye West's album Late Registration, the song "Gone" mentions "...and we used to bubble like a tub full of Calgon..." in reference to a dead friend.
• The female punk band L7 also references Calgon in the song "Diet Pill" ("...Calgon can't take me away from the things I did today.") off their 1992 Bricks Are Heavy album.
• Underground hip hop group, Modill, reference Calgon in their song "Send Me to Bliss" where MC Racecar details his frustrations with life and utters the line, "I should be concentrating spittin' rhymes like Parkay, thinking Playstation, Calgon, take me away!"
• The band, Clem Snide, reference Calgon in their song, "Ancient Chinese Secret Blues" ("Calgon take me away") off their album, The Ghost of Fashion.
• The group "Murders of the City" from Seattle reference Calgon in their son "Sympothty" when lead singer Billy Smort says, "I sometimes use Calgon to clean my anus."
• Hip hop group Crooked Lettaz incorporate "Calgon, take me away!" into the chorus of the title track off their album, Grey Skies
• Indie Hip Hop group Gym Class Heroes reference Calgon in the spoken word/poetry track "So Long Friend", when Travis McCoy laments "I need some of that Calgon take me away action, immediately". The Track appears on their The Papercut Chronicles album.
• In the song "Bow Wow (That's My Name)" by Lil Bow Wow, guest rapper Snoop Dogg says "Calgon Calgon take me away, I'm in the dirty-dirty with my nephew J".
• The Dixie Chicks' song "Cowboy Take Me Away" was inspired by the slogan "Calgon, take me away!"
• The Incubus song, "Calgone" (off the S.C.I.E.N.C.E. album), was inspired by the product Calgon, prominently featured in the lines, "Thank goodness for bathtubs and suds".

Television and Film

• In the movie Beerfest, after Barry (Jay Chandrasekhar) finishes his very emotional and twisted story explaining why he can no longer play Beer Pong, Jan Wolfhouse (Paul Soter) turns to his brother, Todd (Erik Stolhanske) Wolfhouse, saying "Wow. So much to digest." Todd replies, "Calgon, take me away."
• The Calgon water softener commercial was parodied in the television series Arrested Development (the "Sword of Destiny" episode from season 2)-- Lindsay Bluth recommends a store called "Ancient Chinese Secret" and her husband and brother reply in unison, "Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?".
• On the Saturday Night Live episode hosted by Jackie Chan, a parody of the commercial is done. The parody is almost accurate, save for the part where Chan beats up a customer (played by Chris Parnell) for discovering the "Ancient Chinese Secret" and threatening to kill him if he reveals it.
• The commercial was also parodied in Wayne's World 2-- Wayne asks his (Chinese-American) girlfriend Cassandra how she get his "clothes so white and fresh-smelling?" She replies that "It's an age-old Cantonese family method that very few people know about." Wayne then spots the Calgon and rejoins with "Wait a minute... Calgon? Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"
• In a second season episode of Roseanne, Roseanne declines to use "fragrances and oils from around the world". She then asks "Ain't you got no Calgon?"
• On the television show Family Guy (Episode: A Picture is Worth a 1,000 Bucks), Stewie Griffin uses the line "Ancient Chinese Secret, huh?" in the fashion of the original commercial when referring to Chinese secret documents at the U.N.
• In the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode Featuring "Space Mutiny," (s08ep20) Mike Nelson and his robot pals make frequent quips regarding the main villiains' last name, Kalgan (which the other characters frequently pronounce like Calgon). They feature the verbal elements of the Calgon Advertisements, such as "Calgon, take me away." The reference also takes place in a number of different episodes, usually pertaining to water or bubbles in water.
• In the movie Next Friday after Mrs. Ho-Kym gives Uncle Elroy a massage, Day-Day mockingly says to her "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?" to which she responds, "I'm Korean mothafucka."

External links

• Reckitt Benckiser's Calgon water softener home page
• Coty's Calgon spa, bath, and body products home page
• Nu-Calgon Wholesaler, Inc.