Talk:Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon

List of Humorous Quotes

Keeping for the writing of the article.

Anachronisms

[Old Woman]
  How can I help you?
     
     I've come to see Omitsu...
     I've come to order pizza.
     
  I don't doubt it...
  *Omitsu* is the eauty of
  this town.
  
  We've got no such thing!

Impact: Well,

  I have to get going,
  we're filming a *movie*...
  

Impact: First I have to get

  to *America*!

Impact: If you need me again,

  *call me!*

[Fat Woman]
  Hmm...
  
  The air conditioner is on...
  
  and you don't have to ask for
  things...
  
  This is the best place for
  a quick rest.

[Priest]
  I hate *airplanes* and
  that's why I chose to be
  transferred at the Tourist Center...
  
  That was *no* transfer!
  
  It was heck of a lot more
  horrifying than airplanes!!

[Boy]
  I saw a *fish monster* arise out
  of the ocean!
  
  It looked like a *monster* that
  would come out in a SFX movie.

[Woman]
  I hear that *food* is disappearing
  recently from all over the place.
  
  Just the other day,
  the *foie gras* and *can of caviar*
  I'd been saving for a special
  occasion disappeared. Blast it!

Breaking the Fourth Wall

Gate keeper: That's it for us!

  If only the title to this game
  was "*Starring Gate keeper*"
  rather than "*Starring Goemon*".
 
  Then, we'd have a lot more fun!
  Awww!
  

Gate keeper: We'll

  just keep standing here
  until you clear the game.
  
  ...
  ...kinda painful...
  
  ...
  ...kinda depressing...

~

[Man]
  Chuppy loves going for walks!
  Like now,
  he'll just keep on walking!

(making fun of the way NPCs are programmed to do that)

[Girl]
  I heard from *Princess Yuki*
  that something strange is
  happening at Oedo Castle...
  
  I just have to see
  the *dumplings* running up and down
  the hallway!

  (making fun of the monsters)

John: The *secret device* is

  activated by lighting the *torch*
  of the *red Dharma*, arf...
  
  ...Hey!
  
  Why am I saying something
  that sounds *important*, arf...?

~later~

John: Don't let my appearance

  deceive you...
  
  I was the *first*
  folk dancing Champion, arf...
  
  ...Hey!
  
  Why am I saying something
  that is *not important*, arf...?

(making fun of NPC speecH)

~

Lily: What are YOU doing here!

Dancin': I just thought,

  since I've only been in
  a few *scenes*...

~

[Boy]
  You have something to ask me?
     Who is Kihachi?
     What's Kihachi's favorite food?
  
  Well, it's a bit complicated...
  
  He was saying something
  about popping up at the end
  of the game and running off
  with the best part!

Surrealist Humor

[Man]
  That huge *peach* that just came
  flying...
  
  What in the world was that?!
  
  Who in the world is going to eat
  such a huge *peach*!

[Girl]
  What's the fuss?
  Everyone's in a tizzy over some
  Flying Peach...
  
  You won't be able to steal my
  heart using just a Flying Peach!

[Girl]
  If you're going to dance anyway,
  dance the *folk dance*.
  
  If this place is called
  the *Hercules Goliath Beetle*...
  
  So does that make the folkd ance here
  the *Hercules Goliath Bettle
  folk dance*?

[Young Man]
  Edo people aren't too fussy,
  all we want is a hot bath and
  a nice bed!
  
  **Get to Sleep!**

[Woman]
  Kihachi loves the *cucumber*
  made by the *son* of the priest
  at the *Oolden Temple*...
  
  On the other hand,
  he doesn't like *cockroaches*...
  
  ...
  ...
  
  Well, I don't know anyone
  who does!

Jokes in General

Ebisumaru: *Peach Mountain*?

Goemon: Huh!

  I don't care if we're
  talking *Peach Mountain* or...
  

Goemon: *Chestnut Mountain*...

Goemon: ...or even

  a *Pear Mountain*. (laughs)

~

Narrator: Ever since

  the *Achilles' heel*
  was thrown at Benkei...
  

Narrator: Achilles' heel was meant

  to be the *weak point* of
  someone.

Ebisumaru: There's something fishy

  about that story... (laughs)

~

[Old Man]
  I have been studying long and
  hard about *Turtle Stones*,
  
  but there's one thing that's
  always bothered me.
  
  Why are they *Turtle Stones*?!
  ...
  
  Why not, like, *Rabbit Stones*?!

~

Goemon: That would help

  tremendously!
  But, I have no idea how
  to play the *flute*...

Yae: I know how to play

  the flute.

Ebisumaru: Me too!

Goemon: Okay then, *Yae*,

  I'll hand this flute
  to *you*!

Ebisumaru: Why not me?! (laughs)

~

[Monk]
  It's *Kompira*!
     Not *Campari*!
     
  ...
  
  ...
  ...
  
  Well, that's beside the point,
  put [*5 ryo*] into the *offertory
  chest* at the *shrine*!
  
  If you do this,
  you will receive help from *God*!
  
  Oh, you've come to
  ask me again?
  
  Okay, one more time.
  Put [*5 ryo*] into the *chest* at
  the *shrine*!
  
  Then *God* will...
  
  ...
  
  Why should I have to repeat myself?

~

[Woman]
  Every single day...
  a *dragon* flies above the village.
  
  He makes this really scary
  "*Gyoow!*" sound, like *my father*.

~

John: The *secret device* is

  activated by lighting the *torch*
  of the *red Dharma*, arf...
  
  ...Hey!
  
  Why am I saying something
  that sounds *important*, arf...?

~

[Man]
  Are you looking for the *dwarfs*?
  
  Wel, dwarfs are *small*,
  so they may be difficult to find...
  
  **Look! Loooook!**
  
  Right there!
  That's you're *stepping on*!
  That's...
  
  ...
  ...
  
  **My foot!**

~

Goemon: Who are you?!

Mystery man: Aha!

Mystery man: I'm the *leader* of

  the *Peach Mountain
  Shoguns*!

Mystery man: In the fresh

  *spring breeze*, sha, la, la,
  I come *alive*! La, la...

Mystery man: These beautiful

  visions appear before
  my eyes, la, la...

Mystery man: Yes!

Mystery man: I am... you know

  I am... the one they call...

  *Spring Breeze* **Dancin'!**

Ebisumaru: What an *intro*...

~

Goemon: Hey, you...

  what's your face,
  *Dancin'* something or
  whatever!
  

Goemon: What do you *have up

  your sleeves*?!

Dancin': Up my *sleeves*?

Dancin': You mean...

  like my *armpits*? (laughs)

~

Ebisumaru: We're not talking

  about that kinda *sleeve*... (Oooh...)

Dancin': Pretty sharp, *Antonio*,

  you caught on to my joke!

Ebisumaru: *Antonio*?

  Who's *Antonio*?

Colon: Sir Dancin' will choose

  a *name* for you himself
  if he feels it suits
  the person.

Yae: You can't just... (laughs)

Dancin': Colon!

  We're done with this place!

Dancin': We've got to prepare for

  our *next plan*.
  Return at once!

Colon: Yes sir!!

Dancin': Bye for now, *Fernandez*!

  We shall meet again!

Goemon: Wait a minute...

  who's *Fernandez*? (laughs)

Ebisumaru: He was looking at *you*

  when he said it... (laughs)

~ Colon: Remember!

  I will not let you get
  in the way of...

Colon: Our *Great Stage Plan*!

Goemon: What's

  a *Gorilla Steak Plan*?

Colon: That's not what I said!

  It's the *Great Stage Plan*!

Colon: Anyway! Don't come to

  the *Chugoku Region*
  no matter what! (laughs)

Ebisumaru: Oh no!

  He's getting away again
  by *spinning* himself!

Yae: Yes... but first...

Yae: ...we must focus on getting

  to the *Chugoku Region*!

~

Goemon: Oh no! Another *weirdo*!

  I can't believe it... (laughs)

Mystery woman: Who are you calling

  a *weirdo*?!

Mystery woman: I don't blame you

  for calling *Dancin'*
  a weirdo, but *me*?!

Mystery woman: I guess you need

  to get to know *me*
  better.

Goemon: No... err... not really... (laughs)

~

Ebisumaru: We went through

  all that trouble to get
  this far...
  

Ebisumaru: Did *Omitsu* come

  all this way with
  those *dumplings*? (laughs)

Goemon: Maybe she's a lot tougher

  and *stronger* than she
  seems...

~

Gate keeper: The notheast!

  Metal chest!
  The notheast! Metal chest!
  [*Musashi*]'s *Metal chest*!
  
  Wait, maybe
  I am being a bit too obvious.

~

Witch: Hee, hee, hee...!

  I've been in this for *120* years!
  
  All I need to do is look at
  your face, and I know exactly
  what you're thinking of!
  
  ...
  ...
  
  ...Ah!
  
  There's something!
  
  I can see something!
  

Ebisumaru: What?

Ebisumaru: is my *fly open*?

Witch:

  *That's not where I'm looking!* (laughs)

~

Dancin': ...*ouch!* (laughs)

Dancin': Uh, well, w-why don't

  you use the *deivce* to get
  rid of those guys!

Dancin': ...*ouch, I say!*

~

Omitsu: But the door's *rigid* and

  *cannot be opened* easily.

Ebisumaru: Then I'll *huff*,

  and I'll *puff*,
  and I'll *blow*
  the door down. (laugh)

Sasuke: We've got no time

  for *dumb jokes*!{laugh)

~

Wise Man: You couldn't be further

  from the truth!
  Just look at me,
  I'm as *healthy* as ever!

Goemon: Then *who* was the spirit

  the *Witch* called for us? (laughs)

Yae: Yes, there is something

  strange about that,
  but let's not worry
  about it now. (laughs)

~

Ebisumaru: What's this extra

  confidence I sense? (laughs)

~

Goemon: Whew!

  What was that...

Ebisumaru: I, I can't believe it...

Ebisumaru: I don't know...

  but I think I'm...
  becoming *a die hard fan*...
  of *Dancin'* and *Lily*...

Non Sequitur

[Boy]
  The officer's duty is to defend
  the peace of this town.
  
  By the way, I have no job!

Sexual Innuendo

Officer: Anyone planning to

        cause trouble...
        
        will fall victom to
        my *Atomic Stick*!

Mokubei: *Pipe*?

  Let me think...
  well let's see...
  
  ...YES!!
  
  I know!
  
  Take this!
  
  I'm honoured to hand you my *Pipe*!
  It attaches to the *block* with
  the [*Star Mark*]!
  
[System]
  Goemon
     receives the [*Chain Pipe*]!
     
  With this, it is now possible to
  attach this to the *Star Mark* and
  across large gaps!

Mokubei: Train yourself well...

  until the girls cheer for
  you saying
  *"Oh my! That Pipe of you have is
  so fashionable!"*

Awful Puns

[Man]
  It's *a UFO*!
  It's *a Flying Peach*!
  
  This has got to be
  the Alien Invasion!
  
  I'll bet whoever's riding that UFO
  is speaking kinda peachy.

Chiyomaru: These are the *upper*

  reaches of Duck Creek, woof!
  
  IF you go down the Creek,
  you'll reach *Midstream*,
  and then a little further is
  *Downstream*, woof!
  
  Which would mean that since
  I'm here, I must be up the Creek
  without a *paddle*!! Woof!

~

[Boy]
  Whew, I finally got back
  from the Flake gang's place
  in Shikoku Region!
  There's no place like home!
  
  So why are you here?
     Who closed that door?
     Why were you kidnapped?
  
  I've got no idea!
  
  Maybe it's because my name is
  *Dancin Alnite*!

~

Goemon: But Wise Man!

  How do you know?!

Wise Man: Ahem!

  That's because I'm...
  

Wise Man:

  **The WISE MAN!**

~

Dancin': By the way,

  the word *scenes*...

Dancin': Has nothing to do with

  my name, cuz my name is
  not *Dan-scene*, la, la...! (Oooh...)

~

Kihachi: Try carving the word

  "*WORLD*" in that piece
  of rock...

Kihachi: And tell me out loud

  what you have...

Ebisumaru: Hey, that's pretty

  tough, it's no easy task
  to carve "*WORLD*" on
  here!

Goemon: It's a tough world! (laughs)

The quotes

The big list of quotes should probably be placed in a subpage (such as Talk:Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon/quotes) rather than cluttering up the talk page. 69.202.60.86 (talk) 22:04, 24 December 2007 (UTC)