History Bites

History Bites was a television series on the History Television network that ran from 1998-2003. Created by Rick Green (The Frantics, Prisoners of Gravity, Red Green), History Bites explored what would be on television if the medium had been around for the last 5,000 years of human history. Typically, a significant historical event was chosen and mock news, sports and entertainment programming was created around it. Each episode included several segments of Green offering historical background of the episode's chosen era and otherwise showed frequent shifts from one comedy sketch to another (as well as returning to certain sketches repeatedly) representing a channel-surfing viewer who never watched any one sketch for more than a few minutes at a time.

Synopsis

Contemporary movies, television shows and personalities (Martha Stewart, Don Cherry, Tom Brokaw, Dennis Miller, Larry King and Andy Rooney, among others) were comically adapted to the chosen era. For example, the legendary revenge story of the "47 Ronin" of early 1700s Japan was told in the style of a made-for-TV movie modelled on the real-life film The Godfather. Television sitcoms such as Seinfeld and All in the Family were also frequently parodied, with the characters commenting on time-appropriate events, be it Joan of Arc's virginity or the benefits of joining The Immortals (the elite warriors of ancient Persia). Game and reality shows were parodied as well, including a depiction of the Donner Party as participants in an 1846 version of Survivor, and almost every episode featured segments that parodied Jeopardy!, Who Wants to be a Millionaire and/or The Weakest Link, in which contestants answered trivia questions about the common beliefs of the featured era. Anachronisms were frequent and deliberate, adding to the show's distinctive humour. For example, in one episode set in AD 100 and focusing on gladiatorial combat, the "Zamboni family" was responsible for tidying the Colosseum between bouts, in reference to modern Zamboni machines that clean rink surfaces during intermissions at ice hockey games.

Settings

The earliest (by far) setting for an episode is 6000 BCE, in which viewers were advised on pre-monotheism ritual as well as the new technologies of agriculture, the bow and arrow and house-building. It also included a parody of a hospital show in which the treatment for every ailment was a trepanning. The most recent setting for an episode was AD 1880, in an episode largely about "The Shootout At Fly's Photographic Studio", a historically more accurate description of the event commonly known as the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral.

The show's production values improved over its five seasons, increasing and refining the use of sets, costumes and props. Never lost was Green's message (stated explicitly in the first episode and alluded to in the closing of each episode) that fond nostalgia for the past is misplaced and that the lives of our ancestors were rife with oppression, ignorance (including casually-held antisemitic and/or racist beliefs), disease and suffering. Ultimately, the title History Bites has a double meaning, referring to the "soundbites"-like nature of the short clips from each sketch, as well as the often brutal and unpleasant nature of the history being satirized.

Specials

History Bites "The End Of The World" was a one-hour special on how people reacted to the first new millennium on December 31, 999.

On Canada Day, July 1, 2005, a one-hour History Bites special was shown on History Television titled "Mother Britain", covering the history of the relationship between Canada and Britain from the first explorers to the patriation of the Constitution. It featured actors portraying all 21 Canadian Prime Ministers. History Bites "Uncle Sam" is another one-hour special, about the history of U.S./Canada relations. These episodes did not feature the channel-surfing theme that earlier episodes did.

Reruns of History Bites are currently being shown on History Television and the The Comedy Network.

Actors

Regulars on the show include:

• Ron Pardo: David Letterman, Ed Sullivan, Howard Stern, Dennis Miller, Don Cherry, Tom Brokaw, Ted Koppel, Ivan the Terrible, Larry King, Regis Philbin, Julius Caesar, Justinian I, William Shakespeare, Henry Hudson, Bill Maher, Dating Game contestant, interviewed merchant.
• Rick Green: Ron MacLean, Hugh Downs, Timmy the Jeopardy! contestant, Dating Game contestant, interviewed monk.
• Bob Bainborough: period newscaster, game show host, infomercial lawyer, Andy Rooney, Tamerlane, Galileo Galilei, Nostradamus, John Calvin, Oliver Cromwell, Pythagoras, Neolithic doctor, Shakespearean actor, Samurai, Vlad the Impaler, Alexander the Great's general.
• Janet van de Graaf: Martha Stewart, Bev Downer, Barbara Walters, Greta Van Susteren, Anne Robinson, Empress Theodora, period on-location newcaster, interviewed noblewoman.
• Teresa Pavlinek: period newscaster, Cleopatra, Neolithic nurse, interviewed Valley girl peasant, interviewed Puritan woman, Hatshepsut.
• Peter Oldring: Children's show host, Cheng Ho, Alexander the Great, Bill Maher, Dating Game contestant, dating infomercial host, interviewed rebellious teenager.
• Danny DiTata (writer): Steve Irwin, Wyatt Earp, Jesus, leper.
• Eric Lunsky (writer): Charles the Simple, Native American, Egyptian architect, interviewed merchant, interviewed peasant.
• Amy McKenzie (writer): Judge Judy, Shakespearean actor (not actress), interviewed peasant.
• Duncan McKenzie (writer): Abraham Lincoln, William Farel, Leonard the Jeopardy! contestant.
• Sam Kalilieh: Throk (Neolithic farmer), Sostratos of Sycion (Olympic Pankration champion), Thutmoses III, Sargon of Akkad, Tom Green, Pistachio the gladiator, interviewed common man.

External link

• History Bites