Etiquette in Australia and New Zealand

As expectations regarding good manners differ from person to person and vary according to each situation, no treatise on the rules of etiquette nor any list of faux pas can ever be complete. As the perception of behaviors and actions vary, intercultural competence is essential. However, a lack of knowledge about the customs and expectations of people in Australia and New Zealand can make even the best intentioned person seem illiterate, introspective, or worse.

Shared expectations

Australia and New Zealand are separate countries, each with its own distinct national identity that includes particular customs and rules of etiquette. Confusing their identities in general conversation is usually not tolerated and will be quickly corrected. Points of etiquette that apply to both countries include the following:

General

• When meeting friends or new people and when leaving the company of friends or people who one has just met it is becoming less common to require the handshake to be firm, though many are still offended by a 'limp' handshake. Giving someone a limp handshake is referred to as giving someone a "dead fish" and is often viewed with derision, especially in country areas. A quick clasping of hands may be ok for younger people. However, it is always respectful to make eye contact when you shake hands.

Language

• Requesting a fanny pack can be considered obscene due to the use of "fanny" as a slang term for female genitalia. "Bum bag" is the acceptable local variation in some areas.
• Enquiring about which sporting team "you root for" will be met with amusement. "Root" is a vulgar term in Australia for sexual intercourse. Use "go for" or "support" instead. "Barrack for" is also used by some Australians.
• An enquiry about a person's well being (such as "How's it going?" or "How are you going?") is a common greeting. Generally the accepted response is "Not too bad", and it is considered polite to ask the person the same question back. It is also considered polite to greet anyone, including strangers, in this way.
• Bragging, or initiating discussion of one's own achievements, is usually considered in poor taste. (See tall poppy syndrome.)
• It is acceptable to host a barbeque without supplying all the food and drink. The host may ask guests to bring particular items such as beverages, salad, or meat, often using the acronym "BYO"
• The term "bring a plate" is synonymous with "potluck"

Public places

• As cars drive on the left side of the road in both countries, people moving forward will generally go to the left as well. When walking on the pavement (usually called the 'footpath'), one should walk on the left, whenever possible. When travelling on escalators or moving walkways, one should keep to the right when walking, or keep to the left when standing.

• When using public transport, it is rude to board before letting other passengers disembark. It is polite to move from the aisle to the window seat if it is vacant, to allow others passengers to sit down easily.
• Trains and buses in all states of Australia have seats set aside for elderly and disabled people. Sitting in these seats is acceptable but these seats should be offered to the people they are set aside for.
• Spitting on the street is frowned upon.
• When getting off a bus, it is considered rude not to thank the driver.

Bars and restaurants

• When paying a cashier, it is common to place the money in their hand - although placing the money on a surface is not considered rude. When paying at a restaurant it is acceptable to leave the money in the tray on the table, if one is provided. Otherwise, leave it inside the menu card and hand back to the waiter/waitress with a word of thanks. Paying at the cash register is most often the best way to avoid confusion. Unlike the U.S, tipping is not an expectation, but is welcomed at the customers discretion.
• Queuing (forming a line) is expected when there is any demand for an item. The only exception to this is a pub. However, it is still rude to accept service from a barman before someone who has been waiting longer. A simple nod or subtle gesture towards the person who has waited longer will be understood by any experienced server to mean that the indicated person was before you. Most Importantly if you are in a pub and accidentally knock a man's drink over or bump into him and he spills his beer it is customary to buy him another one otherwise he may become aggressive towards you.
• When out with friends, co-workers or relatives, it is customary for people to take turns buying rounds of drinks. This is referred to as a 'shout', e.g. "It's my shout."
• When entering the bar of a RSL or golf club, a man who does not remove his hat is considered rude and as a result rebuked by being told that he is expected to 'shout' (buy a round of drinks) for all those present.
• It is very rude to try to get someone's attention in a public place by saying "Oi!" or "Hey you!" especially in bars/pubs and restaurants.
• A person who takes the last item of food from a common plate, without first offering it to the others at the table may be seen as greedy or inconsiderate.
• Australian staff are less likely to provide fawning service as they tend to hold a belief that all people are equal
• Complaints in restaurants are rare by Australians. Most will merely refuse to revisit an establishment after bad food or service
• Surcharges for use of less commonly used credit cards such as Diners Club and Amex commonly apply in many Australian establishments. To avoid conflict most establishments will advertise this with a sign of some sort near the cashier area
• Arguing or yelling with staff in a food & beverage establishment is considered rude and inappropriate in many cases

Driving

• Waving as a gesture of thanks to drivers that stop to allow you into their lane, exit a driveway, merging into the lane, or cross at a crossing, is viewed as polite.
• A common experience while travelling on state highways is being 'flashed' by oncoming vehicles. This is when an oncoming vehicle flicks its high beam headlights quickly but noticeably (day or night), and serves to warn drivers they are approaching a hazard: a speed camera or Police vehicle/Radar/Random Breath Test (most commonly), or a motor vehicle accident, or animals/rocks on the road . Many drivers acknowledge this with a return wave or a brief reply 'flash' of their high beam headlights.. It is also done to alert the other driver if they have neglected to turn their own headlights on when necessary.
• When driving on Australian highways, if you are passed by a vehicle that is towing it is customary for to signal to the passing vehicle that they are far enough ahead to move back into the left lane by 'flashing' your headlights. It is then polite for the passing vehicle to quickly flash their left, right and then left indicator as a signal of thanks.

Australia

General

• It may be impolite for an outsider to remark on Australia's history as a penal colony. The vast majority immigrants to Australia have been free immigrants.
• Compared to many people from the UK and US, Australians may be more casual in various social situations. Those who resist this attitude may be viewed as snobbish.
• Although viewed as a homogeneous society (70% Anglo-Celtic of predominantly English/Anglo-British origin), there is more acknowledgement of the country's growing ethnic/racial diversity.

Language

• In informal situations some language that might be considered foul or offensive in other cultures may be used to convey different things. However it is considered rude and offensive to behave in this manner in front of children and women especially in rural areas.
• "Indigenous Australian" and "Aboriginal/Aborigine" are polite terms, also regional/state preferences such as "Koori" are also acceptable as long the person in question and you both consider each other friends. Aboriginal/Aborigine refers to Indigenous people from the mainland, the Torres Strait Islanders are a separate group with their own cultural traditions. "Abo", "Coon", "Gin" and "Boong" or "Boonga" are all considered offensive and unacceptable in formal conversation when describing Aborigines but are often used in casual conversations even when one of the participants is of Indigenous descent, though this is often frowned upon. "Aboriginal" is now used only as an adjective, although older documents may still use it as a noun (eg, "Aboriginals"). Note that the words "Coon" and "Gin" are not always considered offensive in other contexts - the former being a popular brand of cheese and the latter a common drink.
• State/ regional preferences for specific names for groups of Indigenous Australians have also arisen in recent years: The term Koori (or Koorie) in New South Wales or Victoria. Those from Queensland use the term Murri (pronounced the same as "Murray"). Nunga is used in most of South Australia. Noongar is used in southern Western Australia. Anangu is used in northern South Australia, and neighbouring parts of Western Australia and the Northern Territory. Palawah is used in Tasmania. However, there were over 200 different languages at the time of European settlement, which means these terms are very specific.

Tipping

• Tipping is not usually expected and some employees may not understand the gesture. Some employees are forbidden from accepting gratuities(this is mainly in positions of authority e.g. in a casino one cannot tip the dealer or a security guard; however, this would not apply in a formal restaurant situation) and tipping face-to-face can create an awkward situation. However, it is appropriate to add a tip to restaurant bills if the service has been especially good. It is also acceptable to suggest that taxi drivers or waiters "keep the change", especially if the difference is small. Tips may be as large or as small as you feel appropriate, though obviously, a particularly small amount is also considered derogatory and extremely rude. Implications that tipping is expected are considered very rude. Where tip jars are provided, they are mostly used for loose change or coins.

Ethnic issues

• Although those of Middle Eastern, Italian, Slavic or Greek descent may make flippant use of terms such as 'Leb' or wog (as in recent film "The Wog Boy"), as well on television comedies Acropolis and Kingswood Country) others should be wary of using what might still be received as a serious ethnic slur. The alternative term "New Australian" is becoming ridiculed, and never was the preferred term among ethnic groups. It may be used with permission between very good friends of differing ethnic backgrounds but is considered to be offensive term to use towards any other person or in a formal setting.

Indigenous Australians

• Amongst Indigenous Australians, it can be taboo to refer to deceased Indigenous Australians by name, or through use of images. Individuals with the same names are then expected to change their name, as not to use the name of the deceased.

• Within some Indigenous Australian cultures, it is considered taboo for mother-in-law and son-in-law to interact on any level, this includes being within the same building or room at any time.

• In some cases, within Indigenous Australian cultures, it is considered rude or threatening to look another individual in the eye when interacting.

New Zealand

General

• People of European descent (pakeha) have their own culture.
• Removing shoes upon entering a home is common in New Zealand, but not universal except when footwear is muddy, wet or otherwise dirty.
• Shoes are always removed before entering the wharenui on a Marae.
• Table manners are similar to the United Kingdom.

Language

• Avoid use of the term Pakeha as it's a highly contentious term. Perceptions range from proud self identity to far worse than America's nigger.
• Avoid using the term "mainland" for either the North or South Islands of New Zealand as this is a sensitive issue. Referring to Australia with this term is even worse. However, when visiting the Chatham Islands, the 'mainland' or 'New Zealand' are used synonymously in reference to the North and South Islands, even though the Chathams are part of New Zealand.
• Use of the term West Island for Australia is acceptable.
• Sheep related humour is likely to bring derision from the majority of New Zealanders, who see this stereotype at once clichéd and offensive, and it should thus be avoided. Although in relaxed social situations a certain amount of banter will be engaged in, it is advisable to wait until you know people well, as in any culture, before engaging in such humour.
• The term "dairy" refers to a convenience store, not a cow farm.
• It is rude to try to get someone's attention by saying "Oi!" especially in bars/pubs and restaurants.

Maori

• Correct pronunciation of Māori words and place-names, and the word "Māori" itself, is often important to Māori, although usually less so to non-Māori.
• It is incorrect to pluralise "Māori" by adding an "s", as the word is used in both the singular and plural.
• While technically incorrect to use the word "māori" in referring to the Māori language, (it is more properly called te reo, "the language"), it is socially acceptable to use it for both the people and the spoken language.
• Sitting on or resting one's backside against a table or desk can offend Māori. A table is where food is served and should not be touched by the “unclean” regions. Similarly, you should not sit on a pillow - the head is tapu (sacred), and pillows are for resting heads only.
• Shoes should always be removed before entering a Māori sacred building, such as a marae.

Driving

• As many of New Zealand's roads, including state highways outside of metropolitan areas, can be winding and narrow (often both), it is polite when a vehicle (i.e. a truck and trailer, a caravan, or a generally slower vehicle) pulls left to allow you to pass to offer two brief toots of your vehicle's horn. Be cautious of using your horn within metropolitan areas for reasons other than as a "warning device" (as this is technically against the law, but rarely enforced), and do not sound just a single toot or any that are long-in-duration as this may send a message of unappreciation. Also, use discretion in taking up a passing opportunity offered in this way as road width and traffic volumes can be unpredictable.
• The car horn is not used very often, only in emergency, or when extremely aggravated.

Tipping

• Tipping is seen as a foreign custom and sometimes as patronising; service is included in what you pay for. It remains fairly rare even in the main centres and should never be considered compulsory. Some cafés have "tip jars" for loose change at the counter, but putting coins in the jar is the exception rather than the rule. It has long been customary to tell taxi drivers or food delivery people to "keep the change", although taxi drivers are equally likely to round a fare down.

With the exception of cafes, bars, restaurants, taxi drivers and food delivery people tipping is virtually non-existent. If staff request a tip it is considered grounds for complaint by the customer.

See also

• Etiquette in Africa
• Etiquette in Asia
• Etiquette in Canada and the United States
• Etiquette in Europe
• Etiquette in Latin America
• Etiquette in the Middle East
• Worldwide etiquette