Charlie Harper (Two and a Half Men)

Charlie Harper
Two and a Half Men character
Charlie showing off his cooking skills in "Damn You, Eggs Benedict" (Season 6 Episode 3)
First appearance	"Pilot"
Last appearance	"That Darn Priest"
Created by	Chuck Lorre
Portrayed by	Charlie Sheen
In-universe information
Alias	Charlie Waffles Dr. Charlie Harper Dr. Philip Gonzalez Bo Jingles Monkey-Man Snookums
Gender	Male
Occupation	Composer; Children's music performer
Relatives	Alan Harper, DC (brother) Evelyn Nora Harper (mother) Frank Harper (father; deceased) Harry Gorsky (stepfather; deceased) Jake Harper (nephew) Milly Melnick (possible niece) Gloria (possible half-sister) Judith Melnick (former sister-in-law) Kandi (former sister-in-law) Silvia (aunt) Sophie (aunt) Jerry (maternal cousin) Faye (married to Jerry) Phoebe (cousin) "Crazy" cousin Wendy (cousin) Walter (uncle)
Religion	Anglican/Episcopal-Christian
Nationality	American

Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper (born 1966 or 1967, according to "Walnuts and Demerol," "Young People Have Phlegm, Too" and "Twanging Your Magic Clanger") is a fictional character from the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men. Played by actor Charlie Sheen, the character has garnered him three Emmy nominations for Outstanding Lead Actor and two Golden Globe nominations for Best Performance by an Actor in a Comedy Series.

Charlie is the brother of Alan Harper and uncle to Alan's son Jake Harper. After being expelled from Juilliard, Charlie began writing jingles for a living. His most famous composition is the Maple Loops song. Charlie then became a successful composer and singer of children's music, with the alias "Charlie Waffles", when the jingle business dried up. The character of Charlie Harper is loosely based on Charlie Sheen, the actor who portrayed the character through the first eight seasons of the show. (In addition, it is the third character that has the same first name as Sheen, who had previously portrayed deputy mayor Charlie Crawford in Spin City and "Charlie" from All Dogs Go to Heaven 2.)

Charlie prides himself on his bachelor lifestyle in Malibu and drives a Mercedes, and a Ferrari (and formerly a Jaguar). His lifestyle consists of living in a two-story beachfront home, drinking excessively, smoking cigars, constant womanizing, gambling, and wearing bowling shirts and shorts the vast majority of the time. Charlie sleeps in constantly, and is the boss of a full-time housekeeper. Money "falls into his lap" as he lives a life of free-spirited debauchery.

History

When Charlie's mother Evelyn was pregnant with him (for 7 and a half months), his parents thought that he was going to be a girl, since the ultrasound showed no signs of a penis. According to Evelyn, Charlie was always "a little drama queen" when he grew up. After his father died, of food poisoning, Charlie and his brother had three stepdads. First, a man named Harry Luther Gorsky, who left Charlie and Alan's mother for a young woman, Charlie refers to him as "a little tyrant". Second was a twitchy gay man from Texas who called him and Alan "buckaroos". Third, there was "the Carpet King," a fat guy, who Charlie liked the most because he had "a grateful daughter". Well into his 40s, Charlie believed "the Carpet King" owned a carpeting business, until his mother eventually revealed to him that the pet name was actually sexual slang rather than his profession.

When Charlie was young, he was ashamed of his younger brother Alan, and when Alan had his first school day, Charlie told everyone at school that Alan was his shaved monkey (he later explained he did this because he always wanted a shaved monkey). He also gave his brother full-time wedgies and annoyed him whenever he could. Charlie drank a lot when he was a teenager, and constantly ran away, nevertheless his mother did not mind because he always came back. Charlie constantly bemoans Alan and Jake's presence in his house but generally seems happy that they are around, because they are the only people who have known him for a long time and remain in his daily life. When Alan was surprised to find Charlie did not have their mom's cell phone number in his contacts list, Charlie told him "If I can't eat it, bang it, or bet on it, it's not in my phone." On a later episode it is shown Charlie does get his mother's number, in fact he has it on speed dial 666 as shown in the quote from the episode.

Both Charlie and Alan have a very strained relationship with their mother Evelyn and often try to avoid her at all costs. While not much is known about their father Francis, except that when Charlie looks back he says he was a horrible son.

Charlie's dedication to staying single seems to be something he learned growing up while watching the poor way his father was treated by his mother (His father died of food poisioning, though Charlie says he committed suicide to get away from Evelyn), also seeing his brother dominated by Judith.

He is often selfish towards Alan. For instance, he made Alan go on a date in one episode when he had the flu, merely in order to afford him [Charlie] the opportunity to have "revenge sex." In another episode when Alan got upset in a bookstore and wanted to miss a movie they were going to see Charlie replied, "So I'm supposed to miss the movie just because you had a nervous breakdown, don't you think that is a little selfish Alan?" Furthermore after Alan's second divorce Alan tells Charlie he needs him in front of a crowd of people to which Charlie retorts, "Anyone know a Charlie?" He additionally derives enjoyment from rubbing his own success in Alan's face and further complicating Alan's situations just for the fun of it. He is particularly nasty about Alan's situation with Judith, especially since he told Alan not to marry her in the first place.

While Charlie loves his nephew Jake and at the beginning of the show used him to get dates. He often makes jokes revolving around Jake's apparent lack of smarts, and often states that he is destined to be a doorstop or a fry cook. Though it is often shown that ultimately Charlie loves Jake.

Despite his selfish attitude, he can be very caring. Though Charlie often chastises Alan for being a "sponge," Charlie has continued to provide two out of his three bedrooms to Alan, without rent, and seemingly provides all of his meals, even when the two dine out together. In many occasions, he has stood up to Jake for Alan when Jake started badmouthing him [Alan]. He also cares a lot for Jake, even though he has trouble admitting it. In the episode "Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats" Jake gets an injury and Charlie goes out of his way to make sure that he's all right. In the episode "The Mooch at the Boo" Jake and his neighbor, a pretty girl named Celeste, disappear together and Celeste's ex-football player dad came looking. When they were found kissing Charlie later said to the father (Jerome played by Ving Rhames) that he would take the beating intended for Jake instead. While Charlie knows that Jake's new sister Milly could be his niece, He tells Alan not to get involved because it will most likely cause further hate and disdain between Alan and Judith and ruin Milly's life.

Charlie watches a lot of sports on TV, mostly football, basketball, and baseball. He has little interest in athletics per se. Rather, Charlie is a frequent gambler. He watches sports to keep tabs on his investments. Two of his favorite sitcoms are Dharma and Greg and Becker, but he revealed in "Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste" that he does not like Sex and the City and told Alan the latter was gay for watching it.

Despite his affluent and worldly-wise persona, Charlie can be remarkably naïve about everyday matters. In the episode "Last Chance to See Those Tattoos," Alan observes that Charlie does not really understand how web pages and the Internet work. In the episode "I Can't Afford Hyenas," it's revealed that Charlie has no understanding of how to care for his own living expenses because he entrusts an accountant with managing his cash flow and paying the bills. When his accountant gets busted by the authorities, Charlie is not even aware of a problem until he receives notices from the bank that his accounts are delinquent, his credit cards are maxed out and his car is in danger of being repossessed. He is twice shown to have no (or to have subconsciously blocked all) awareness of Oedipus: first when Rose has to explain him to look under "Oed.." when he fetches a dictionary to understand her diagnosis of his Oedipus complex; and again a year later when Rose presents Charlie a copy of Sophocles' Oedipus Rex during his relationship with Evelyn's doppelgänger Lydia, and he displays utter ignorance of the plot.

Love life

Charlie's love life is a recurring theme in his character. He is a drunken womanizer who has engaged in decades of frequent one night stands, prostitutes, booty calls, and "relationships" of short duration, in stark contrast to his brother Alan's inability to garner much female attention. Even though Charlie usually never calls any of his girlfriends again after he had sex with them, there are a few relationships on the show that lasted longer than one night, notably his neighbor Rose, who continues to stalk him after they spent one night together, and Jake's ballet teacher Mia, whom Charlie was actually in love with, and almost married in Las Vegas. He usually dated women that were much younger than he was, but starting in Season 5, he pursued relationships that were a change of pace for him. He started a relationship with a respected judge played by Ming-Na and later with a substantially older single mother/author (Susan Blakely), but he later blew it with both women. In Season 6, Charlie proposed marriage to his girlfriend Chelsea (Jennifer Bini Taylor, who has also played 3 other roles in earlier seasons) just to get her to return his love for her.

Notable love interests (in order of appearance)

Rose

Charlie and Rose (Melanie Lynskey) spent one night together a little before the show started; after this, Rose became increasingly obsessed with him. She usually spends time at his beachhouse when Charlie and Alan are gone, and when they come back they usually find a surprise, such as cabinets that are glued shut. Rose demonstrates her obsession with Charlie in numerous ways: when taking up with Charlie's pizza boy Gordon, she flaunted him to Charlie in an obvious but useless attempt to make the latter jealous; she then attempted to mold Gordon into Charlie by dressing him in short pants and designer bowling shirts like those Charlie usually wears, and instructing him to try to emulate Charlie's poses; she has named all of her five ferrets Charlie. Rose' father (portrayed by Sheen's real-life father Martin) became similarly obsessed with Charlie's mother Evelyn; Charlie and Evelyn sought "expert" assistance (i.e., Rose) to get rid of him. Charlie is usually charmed by Rose, but is not interested in a relationship with her, even though Berta thinks they are a good couple together. When Rose decided to leave to go to London Charlie believed that she was only pretending in order to get him into a relationship with her; after she really left, Charlie realized that he made a horrible mistake by letting Rose go. He then went to London to meet her but quickly returned home when Rose started talking about his moving there and starting a family together. Rose has since returned to Malibu and continues to stalk Charlie. As of "The Devil's Lube," there is a chance of a relationship between the two in the future, in this episode Charlie points out he has not seen Rose in a while, but she cannot say the same. However, in "Above Exalted Cyclops," Rose, after being set up by Chelsea, now has moved on from Charlie and is stalking Alan, or possibly stalking both brothers. In the recent episode "Gumby with a Pokey" (her only appearance in Season 7), she is still noted as Charlie's stalker, implying that she is either done stalking Alan and back to Charlie, or stalking both brothers. Gordon is unaware of Rose's brief relationship with Alan. In Season 8's "Crazy Bitch Gazette," Rose is once again seen stalking Charlie. This time it has become too much for Charlie's new girlfriend Michelle, who is convinced that Charlie loves Rose. Rose tells Charlie that she is marrying a guy named "Manfred Quinn," which appears to be verified when Charlie and Alan go to the church and peer through a door window to see a wedding in progress. The two walk away, with Charlie confused and apparently heartbroken. At the end of the episode, it is revealed that, with the exception of the priest and Rose, all the other attendants are mannequins (hence the name of Rose's purported groom: Manfred "Manny" Quinn). Later in Season 8, Charlie tells Rose that he loves her and they begin a romantic relationship with Charlie even taking her on a romantic getaway to Paris despite the fact that he still thinks she is truly married.

Jill/Bill

Jill/Bill (Chris O'Donnell) was a previous girlfriend of Charlie's appearing in a season one episode, "An Old Flame With A New Wick". Jill has since had sex-reassignment surgery and is now living as Bill. Charlie comments during the episode that while the relationship was passionate, sex with Jill was "a little weird". As the episode progresses, Bill begins dating Charlie's mother Evelyn (she is initially unaware of Bill's history). Once Bill's identity is revealed to her, she decides to continue seeing Bill.

Lisa

Lisa (Denise Richards) was Charlie's favorite ex-girlfriend. She appeared in one season 1 and one season 2 episode. In "Merry Thanksgiving," Charlie proposed to her but she decided to marry another man. In "Yes, Monsignor," Charlie had to prove he is good with babies when he found out she had one (played by Richards and Sheen's real-life first daughter Sam).

Kandi

Charlie had a very brief relationship with Kandi (April Bowlby) before they broke up, and she married his brother, Alan. Kandi is depicted as hot and young (half the age of Alan or Charlie), with a "dumb blonde" stereotype, even though she is a redhead.

Mia

Mia (Emmanuelle Vaugier) is a ballet teacher, whom Charlie had a crush on, and was engaged to for a short while. Charlie decided not to marry Mia after she insisted that Alan and Jake must move out of the house, only to find out that Alan had married Kandi and moved out. Charlie later became sexually reckless and depressed, because he found out Mia was going to marry someone else. They reunited in person at the end of season 6's "Baseball Was Better With Steroids," resulting in a cliffhanger for the season finale. In season 7's premiere "818-jklpuzo", Mia appears in much less favorable light. Mia asks Charlie for help with a singing career, but in reality she appears to want him back. By this time, Charlie had begun a relationship with Chelsea, and is now torn between the two. While in the studio recording a demo tape, Mia asks Charlie for sex after revealing that she is a horrible singer. Charlie tells Mia she cannot sing, and chooses Chelsea. While Charlie rushes away, he turns off Mia's microphone, so he cannot hear her yell and swear at him.

Lydia

Shortly after he cancelled his wedding with Mia, Charlie began dating a rude woman in real estate named Lydia (Katherine LaNasa). Alan, Jake, Rose and Berta did not like her and made this clear to Charlie, but when she met his mother, Evelyn, the four learned she and Evelyn were exactly alike in character. When Lydia began bossing Berta around, Berta threatened to quit unless Charlie broke up with her. Lydia meanwhile threatened to break up with Charlie unless he fired Berta. In the end, Charlie broke up with Lydia, and Berta would only return if Charlie admitted he was a sex addict and attended rehab.

Myra

Myra (Judy Greer) is the sister of Herb Melnick (Judith's husband after Alan). She bonded with Charlie over their hatred of Judith. Judith did not want the two dating, and would take her frustration out on Alan. Judith did not want Charlie coming over to her house either, so Charlie invited Myra to his house. Even though she was supposed to be sleeping in Jake's room, Myra slept with Charlie, leaving Alan and Jake to hear them and find out the truth. When Charlie wanted to pursue the relationship, he was heartbroken to find out that she was engaged and he'd have to drive her to the airport after the wedding, and that he'd never see her again.

Linda Harris

Beginning of the fifth season, Charlie started to date Linda Harris (Ming-Na), a judge and professor of his own age. Their relationship ended in the middle of the same season, due to Linda concluding that she couldn't "be connected publicly to a guy like [Charlie]." She also has a son named Brandon, who liked Charlie, and the random songs Charlie sang to Brandon while babysitting him essentially launched his alter-ego, "Charlie Waffles".

Courtney Leopold/Sylvia Fishman

Charlie also fell for his future stepsister, "Courtney" (Jenny McCarthy) in Season 5, and after agreeing to stop seeing her due to their relationship to each other, he lends her a substantial amount of money and proposes moments before they become step-siblings. She also forced Charlie to buy a car from her so the secret of their relationship would not get out to her father and Evelyn. Charlie is heart-broken to learn that she is actually a con artist named Sylvia, but he apparently retains feelings for her, telling her that he will "wait" for her (to get out of prison). She reappears in Season 8's "Ow, Ow, Don't Stop" (as Courtney) after being released from prison, and Charlie immediately falls for her again, even professing his love for her. Courtney and Charlie break up two episodes later in "Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead" when they realize they have simply lost their feelings for one another and, in an extremely rare case for Charlie, they part mutually and on good terms.

Angie

Towards the end of season five, Charlie met an older woman (Susan Blakely) named Angie who was also the author of a relationship self-help book that he was interested in reading. Angie has been described as a mother figure to Charlie, more so than even his own mother, Evelyn. When Angie introduced him to her grown son Jeremy and his fiancee Tricia, Charlie realized that he had dated Tricia earlier in his life. After Tricia revealed that she still had feelings for Charlie, Tricia dumped Jeremy, and Angie became, as Alan describes, a "mean drunk" who verbally lashed out at Charlie and furiously broke up with him.

Melissa

In a season 6 episode ("The Flavin' and the Mavin'"), Charlie is annoyed that he has to drive Alan to work, until he meets Alan's spunky young receptionist, Melissa (Kelly Stables). Alan begs Charlie not to hit on her, as it will likely end badly and complicate their working relationship, but Charlie ignores him. Charlie sleeps with Melissa, then becomes annoyed when she constantly hangs around his house. Melissa becomes vindictive when she realizes Charlie is not serious about their relationship. As Alan suspected, the failed relationship causes Melissa to demand a raise and health insurance. (Melissa would later date Alan in several episodes of seasons 6, 7 and 8.)

Chelsea Christine Melini

Chelsea Christine Melini (Jennifer Bini Taylor) starts dating Charlie in season 6, and is the first woman to whom he confessed his love without prompting. He says this nearly by accident, but claims he meant it. At first, Chelsea was another one of Charlie's one-night stands, but it soon evolved into a relationship. The relationship comes to a rut with Chelsea wanting to break up, but after some couples counseling, the two remain together. Charlie proposes to her, ring and all, just to get her to say "I love you" back to him, and since then, they are engaged to be married. When Chelsea moves into the Harper beach house, Charlie rents out her vacant apartment to get alone time. Chelsea has a cat named "Sir Lancelot", who is almost never seen on-camera (two exceptions are in "Mmm, fish. Yum." and "Tinkle like a Princess") and is constantly being stepped on, mostly by Charlie, but once by Alan. Chelsea gets along well with Evelyn, much to Charlie's chagrin, and had a very rocky relationship with her nephew-to-be Jake, until Charlie forced them to work out their issues. Charlie had a video of Chelsea and himself having sex on his phone, but when Chelsea found out, she erased the video herself. The two eventually break up due to Charlie's jealousy towards her and Alan's lawyer, Brad. Charlie then makes matters worse by vomiting on a baby in public, and sleeping with Chelsea's best friend, Gail. Chelsea's last appearance was in the Season 7 finale, which was her birthday party.

Betsy

Betsy (Katy Mixon) first met the Harper brothers the day Charlie and Chelsea set the date for their wedding. Panicked over the impending end of his bachelor lifestyle, Charlie finds himself blacked out drunk in bed with Betsy and Alan shortly after their meeting in Pavlov's Bar. With little memory of the night's events, Alan and Charlie left her home before dawn. Only remembering flashes of himself, his brother, and Betsy fooling around naked, shortly after Alan performed a striptease in drag, Charlie went to his mother for advice. To help wipe the disturbing memories from Charlie's mind, Evelyn told him of the time she cheated on her third husband with circus folk, including a clown, strongman, bearded lady, acrobats, and dwarfs, in one debased night. Traumatized by Evelyn's story, Charlie's few memories of the night were now replaced with images of his mother's circus orgy. When Charlie and Betsy encounter each other again, they immediately run off to Las Vegas and have a "quickie" wedding. But the marriage is soon rendered invalid when it is revealed that Betsy is already married.

Michelle

Michelle (Liz Vassey) is Charlie's dermatologist. In the episode "Twanging Your Magic Clanger," they both met when Charlie was getting his mole removed from his behind. They went to a movie and Charlie was surprised to find out that she is older than he is. After Alan telling him that he's probably gonna be dead for ten years by the time she turns 70, he went to Michelle and told her that he was interested in being in a relationship with her. He then met Michelle's 20-year old daughter, which led him to briefly think about sex with the daughter. But after finding out that she thinks "older guys" (much younger than Charlie) are bad to have sex with, he returns to Michelle. In "The Crazy Bitch Gazette," Michelle and Charlie went on a date where they had lunch with Evelyn and Alan, causing a few embarrassing details about Charlie's past to slip out. When they got to Charlie's house, Charlie introduced Michelle to Berta and told Michelle about his past girlfriends and other sordid details of his life. To Charlie's surprise, Michelle still wanted to be with him. Later that night, however, Charlie's neighbor/stalker Rose appeared on his deck. Michelle was upset with Charlie, because he did not mention Rose in any of his confessions. Nor did he mention the fact that she constantly stalked him. The next week, Charlie went over to Michelle's house with flowers and begged her to give him another chance. Michelle breaks up with Charlie, anyway, because she is convinced that he still has feelings for Rose.

External links

• Template:Imdb character
• Charlie Harper on Two and a Half Men, an external wiki
• Small list of Charlie's famous girlfriends
• TV week article
• Vincent Terrace, Encyclopedia of Television Subjects, Themes and Settings (McFarland & Co., 2007), ISBN 0-7864-2498-2, 978-0-7864-2498-6, found at Google Books from the University of Michigan
• Daily News article
• John Kenneth Muir, TV Year: The Prime Time 2005–2006 Season (Hal Leonard Corporation, 2007)

ISBN 1-55783-684-1, 978-1-55783-684-7

• Stephen F. Hofer, TV Guide: The Official Collectors Guide (Bangzoom Publishers, 2006)

ISBN 0-9772927-1-1, 978-0-9772927-1-4