List of The Colbert Report episodes (2009): Difference between revisions
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|TheWord=''None'' |
|TheWord=''None'' |
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|Guest=[[Alan Colmes]], [[John King (journalist)|John King]] |
|Guest=[[Alan Colmes]], [[John King (journalist)|John King]] |
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|IntroPhrase=''None'' |
|IntroPhrase=''None'' |
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|OriginalAirDate=January 5 |
|OriginalAirDate=January 5 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert announces that [[Alan Colmes]] is joining him as co-host on his new show, ''Colbert and Colmes''. They then discuss [[Roland Burris]]'s appointment to the [[United States Senate|Senate]], as well as [[Al Franken]] winning his Senate race in [[Minnesota]]. Colbert then premieres Chapter 3 in the ''[[Tek Jansen#Season Two|Tek Jansen]]'' series. He then interviews [[John King (journalist)|John King]] about the [[News media (United States)|media]] and [[politics]]. Finally, Colbert gets angry with Colmes and fires him. |
|ShortSummary=Colbert announces that [[Alan Colmes]] is joining him as co-host on his new show, ''Colbert and Colmes''. They then discuss [[Roland Burris]]'s appointment to the [[United States Senate|Senate]], as well as [[Al Franken]] winning his Senate race in [[Minnesota]]. Colbert then premieres Chapter 3 in the ''[[Tek Jansen#Season Two|Tek Jansen]]'' series. He then interviews [[John King (journalist)|John King]] about the [[News media (United States)|media]] and [[politics]]. Finally, Colbert gets angry with Colmes and fires him. |
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|TheWord=''None'' |
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|Guest=[[David Leonhardt]], [[Matthew Miller (journalist)|Matt Miller]] |
|Guest=[[David Leonhardt]], [[Matthew Miller (journalist)|Matt Miller]] |
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|IntroPhrase=''None'' |
|IntroPhrase=''None'' |
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|OriginalAirDate=January 6 |
|OriginalAirDate=January 6 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert begins with the [[Bernard Madoff]] scandal and interviews [[David Leonhardt]] about it. In "[[Better Know a District]]," he profiles [[Utah's 3rd congressional district]] and speaks with its congressman, [[Jason Chaffetz]]. Finally, Colbert interviews [[Matthew Miller (journalist)|Matt Miller]] about his book, ''The Tyranny of Dead Ideas''. The phrase next to Colbert in the opening credits changes to "COLMES-FREE SINCE 2009". |
|ShortSummary=Colbert begins with the [[Bernard Madoff]] scandal and interviews [[David Leonhardt]] about it. In "[[Better Know a District]]," he profiles [[Utah's 3rd congressional district]] and speaks with its congressman, [[Jason Chaffetz]]. Finally, Colbert interviews [[Matthew Miller (journalist)|Matt Miller]] about his book, ''The Tyranny of Dead Ideas''. The phrase next to Colbert in the opening credits changes to "COLMES-FREE SINCE 2009". |
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|ProdCode=5007 |
|ProdCode=5007 |
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|TheWord=''None'' |
|TheWord=''None'' |
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|Guest= |
|Guest=Alan Khazei |
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|IntroPhrase="Hey, [[Timothy Geithner|I don't pay my taxes]]; why can't I be [[United States Secretary of the Treasury|Treasury Secretary]]? This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="Hey, [[Timothy Geithner|I don't pay my taxes]]; why can't I be [[United States Secretary of the Treasury|Treasury Secretary]]? This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=January 14 |
|OriginalAirDate=January 14 |
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|ShortSummary= |
|ShortSummary=Iranians burning pictures of Obama, over-marketing of Obama, interview with [[List of The Colbert Report characters#Recurring characters|P. K. Winsome]], [[Milky Way]] Galaxy has been found to be about the same size as the [[Andromeda Galaxy]], [[national service]]. |
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|IntroPhrase="[[Scotch Tape]], either change your name or get me drunk. I nearly choked last night. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="[[Scotch Tape]], either change your name or get me drunk. I nearly choked last night. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=January 29 |
|OriginalAirDate=January 29 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert briefly mentions [[Rod Blagojevich|Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich]] being impeached. He then praises all [[Republican Party (United States)|Republicans]] in the [[United States House of Representatives|U.S. House]] for voting against the economic stimulus package. In "[[Recurring segments on The Colbert Report#Stephen Colbert's Sports Report|Stephen Colbert's Sport Report]]", he discusses [[Super Bowl XLIII]], its [[Advertisement|commercials]] and the [[buffalo wings]] shortage. He then speaks with |
|ShortSummary=Colbert briefly mentions [[Rod Blagojevich|Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich]] being impeached. He then praises all [[Republican Party (United States)|Republicans]] in the [[United States House of Representatives|U.S. House]] for voting against the economic stimulus package. In "[[Recurring segments on The Colbert Report#Stephen Colbert's Sports Report|Stephen Colbert's Sport Report]]", he discusses [[Super Bowl XLIII]], its [[Advertisement|commercials]] and the [[buffalo wings]] shortage. He then speaks with Richard Lobb about the shortage. Finally, Colbert interviews [[John Podesta]] about [[Barack Obama|President Obama]]'s [[Presidential transition of Barack Obama|transition]] and [[progressivism]]. |
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|ProdCode=5017 |
|ProdCode=5017 |
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|TheWord=''None'' |
|TheWord=''None'' |
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|Guest= |
|Guest=Dan Zaccagnino |
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|IntroPhrase="It's [[Groundhog Day]]. Gentlemen, start your groundhogs. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="It's [[Groundhog Day]]. Gentlemen, start your groundhogs. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=February 2 |
|OriginalAirDate=February 2 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert talks about the [[Ledbetter v. Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co.|Ledbetter law]] being passed. In "It Could Be Worse," he discusses the [[government]] of [[Iceland]]'s collapse. In "[[Recurring segments on The Colbert Report#Nailed 'Em|Nailed 'Em]]," Colbert profiles a man who was arrested at [[Pennsylvania Station (New York)|Penn Station]] for taking pictures of [[Amtrak]] [[trains]]. |
|ShortSummary=Colbert talks about the [[Ledbetter v. Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co.|Ledbetter law]] being passed. In "It Could Be Worse," he discusses the [[government]] of [[Iceland]]'s collapse. In "[[Recurring segments on The Colbert Report#Nailed 'Em|Nailed 'Em]]," Colbert profiles a man who was arrested at [[Pennsylvania Station (New York)|Penn Station]] for taking pictures of [[Amtrak]] [[trains]]. Finally, he interviews Dan Zaccagnino about his website and remixing previous clips of Colbert. |
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|EpisodeNumber=509 |
|EpisodeNumber=509 |
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|ProdCode=5018 |
|ProdCode=5018 |
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|TheWord=Army |
|TheWord=Army of One |
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|Guest=[[Henry Louis Gates, Jr.]] |
|Guest=[[Henry Louis Gates, Jr.]] |
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|IntroPhrase="Hey, [[Statue of Liberty|Lady Liberty]]! Isn't it time you settled down and found yourself a man?" ''(straightens tie)'' "This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="Hey, [[Statue of Liberty|Lady Liberty]]! Isn't it time you settled down and found yourself a man?" ''(straightens tie)'' "This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=February 3 |
|OriginalAirDate=February 3 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert talks about [[Tom Daschle]] withdrawing from consideration for [[United States Secretary of Health and Human Services|Secretary of Health and Human Services]]. He then claims [[ |
|ShortSummary=Colbert talks about [[Tom Daschle]] withdrawing from consideration for [[United States Secretary of Health and Human Services|Secretary of Health and Human Services]]. He then claims [[Michael Steele]]'s selection as chairman of the [[Republican National Committee]] is irrelevant because [[Rush Limbaugh]] is the real leader of the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]]. In "[[Recurring segments on The Colbert Report#Colbert Platinum (CP)|Colbert Platinum]]: Ass-Covering Edition," he talks about [[John Thain]], [[Richard Fuld]] and [[Marcus Schrenker]]. Finally, Colbert interviews [[Henry Louis Gates, Jr.]] about [[Abraham Lincoln]]. |
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|IntroPhrase="Here's a brain teaser for ya: your brain is ugly. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="Here's a brain teaser for ya: your brain is ugly. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=February 4 |
|OriginalAirDate=February 4 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert [[Christian Bale#Controversy|berates]] [[Steve Martin]] for walking through his line of sight. In "Yahweh or No Way," he talks about [[Super Bowl XLIII]], |
|ShortSummary=Colbert [[Christian Bale#Controversy|berates]] [[Steve Martin]] for walking through his line of sight. In "Yahweh or No Way," he talks about [[Super Bowl XLIII]], Fred Milani and [[Pope Benedict XVI]]. In "[[Recurring segments on The Colbert Report#Who's —ing Me Now?|Who's Not Honoring Me Now]]," Colbert complains he hasn't won a [[Newbery Medal]] or the [[Bocuse d'Or]], but feels good about his chances to win a [[Grammy Award]]. Finally, he interviews Steve Martin about his career and challenges him to a "[[Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album|read-off]]" and a "'[[Dueling Banjos]]'-off." The phrase next to Colbert in the opening credits changes to "SEVEN-INCH GANGLY WRENCH". |
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|IntroPhrase="Let's agree to disagree with anybody who disagrees with me. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="Let's agree to disagree with anybody who disagrees with me. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=February 10 |
|OriginalAirDate=February 10 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert gets enraged over the cover of ''[[The Atlantic]]'' and the new [[Visa Inc.|Visa Black]]. He then discusses [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] [[United States House of Representatives|Congressman]] [[Pete Sessions]]' claim that "insurgency may be required" to fight the [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrats]]. In "Shout Out!," Colbert praises |
|ShortSummary=Colbert gets enraged over the cover of ''[[The Atlantic]]'' and the new [[Visa Inc.|Visa Black]]. He then discusses [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican]] [[United States House of Representatives|Congressman]] [[Pete Sessions]]' claim that "insurgency may be required" to fight the [[Democratic Party (United States)|Democrats]]. In "Shout Out!," Colbert praises Gene E. Robinson, [[John E. Sununu|John Sununu]] and one of his former [[security guards]]. Finally, he interviews [[Robert Ballard]] about his work in underwater [[archaeology]]. |
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|ProdCode=5024 |
|ProdCode=5024 |
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|TheWord=''None'' |
|TheWord=''None'' |
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|Guest= |
|Guest=David Ross, Ed Colbert, [[Adam Gopnik]] |
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|IntroPhrase=''None'' (show begins with opening sequence) |
|IntroPhrase=''None'' (show begins with opening sequence) |
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|OriginalAirDate=February 12 |
|OriginalAirDate=February 12 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert wishes [[Abraham Lincoln]] a happy 200th birthday. He then discusses [[Shepard Fairey]] suing the [[Associated Press|AP]] over the [[Barack Obama "Hope" poster]] and interviews [[Whitney Museum of American Art|David Ross]] and his brother, |
|ShortSummary=Colbert wishes [[Abraham Lincoln]] a happy 200th birthday. He then discusses [[Shepard Fairey]] suing the [[Associated Press|AP]] over the [[Barack Obama "Hope" poster]] and interviews [[Whitney Museum of American Art|David Ross]] and his brother, Ed Colbert, about it. In "[[Recurring segments on The Colbert Report#The DaColbert Code|The DaColbert Code]]," he predicts who will win [[Academy Award|Oscars]]. Colbert then interviews [[Adam Gopnik]] about the similarities between Abraham Lincoln and [[Charles Darwin]]. Finally, he bids farewell to [[Conan O'Brien]]. |
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|IntroPhrase="When life deals you lemons, make scrambled eggs. I make the worst scrambled eggs. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="When life deals you lemons, make scrambled eggs. I make the worst scrambled eggs. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=February 23 |
|OriginalAirDate=February 23 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert discusses |
|ShortSummary=Colbert discusses Mastermedia International urging people to pray for him today and prays for himself. He then talks about rising [[Church service|church]] attendance due to the [[Global financial crisis of 2008-2009|economic crisis]] and speaks with [[James Martin (Jesuit writer)|James Martin]] about it. After testing his "moral dimension," he proclaims "[[Recurring segments on The Colbert Report#The DaColbert Code|The DaColbert Code]]" went 5-for-5 in predicting the [[Academy Award|Oscars]]. Finally, Colbert interviews [[Helen Fisher (anthropologist)|Helen Fisher]] about [[matchmaking]]. |
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|ProdCode=5031 |
|ProdCode=5031 |
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|TheWord=''None'' |
|TheWord=''None'' |
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|Guest=[[Jack H. Jacobs|Jack Jacobs]], [[Stephen Moore (economist)|Stephen Moore]], |
|Guest=[[Jack H. Jacobs|Jack Jacobs]], [[Stephen Moore (economist)|Stephen Moore]], Carl Wilson |
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|IntroPhrase="Birds of a feather stick together, especially after they've flown into your glue trap. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="Birds of a feather stick together, especially after they've flown into your glue trap. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=March 4 |
|OriginalAirDate=March 4 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert brags that his name is now ahead of [[Xenu]] in the vote to [[ISS node 3|name a module]] on the [[International Space Station]] and claims that makes him [[Scientology]]'s new galactic overlord. He then talks about "War Room," a segment on [[Glenn Beck]]'s [[Fox News]] [[Glenn Beck (TV program)|show]]. This leads to "Stephen Colbert's Doom Bunker," in which he speaks with [[Jack H. Jacobs|Jack Jacobs]] and [[Stephen Moore (economist)|Stephen Moore]] about various [[Doomsday event|doomsday scenarios]]. Finally, Colbert interviews |
|ShortSummary=Colbert brags that his name is now ahead of [[Xenu]] in the vote to [[ISS node 3|name a module]] on the [[International Space Station]] and claims that makes him [[Scientology]]'s new galactic overlord. He then talks about "War Room," a segment on [[Glenn Beck]]'s [[Fox News]] [[Glenn Beck (TV program)|show]]. This leads to "Stephen Colbert's Doom Bunker," in which he speaks with [[Jack H. Jacobs|Jack Jacobs]] and [[Stephen Moore (economist)|Stephen Moore]] about various [[Doomsday event|doomsday scenarios]]. Finally, Colbert interviews Carl Wilson about his book, ''Let's Talk About Love''. |
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|IntroPhrase=(sitting in his underwear, eating a sandwich and reading ''[[Soap Opera Digest]]'') "By the way, when's [[Daylight Saving Time|Daylight Savings Time]] start?" |
|IntroPhrase=(sitting in his underwear, eating a sandwich and reading ''[[Soap Opera Digest]]'') "By the way, when's [[Daylight Saving Time|Daylight Savings Time]] start?" |
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|OriginalAirDate=March 9 |
|OriginalAirDate=March 9 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert congratulates one of his writers on the birth of his son. He then discusses an |
|ShortSummary=Colbert congratulates one of his writers on the birth of his son. He then discusses an online database that allows searches for [[Concealed carry in the United States|concealed weapon permits]] in [[Tennessee]]. In "[[Better Know a District]]," he profiles [[Wyoming's At-large congressional district]] and speaks with its [[U.S. House of Representatives|Congresswoman]], [[Cynthia Lummis]]. Finally, Colbert briefly interviews [[Lisa Hannigan]], who then performs her song, "I Don't Know." |
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|IntroPhrase="I don't sugarcoat the news; I drench it in [[high-fructose corn syrup]]. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="I don't sugarcoat the news; I drench it in [[high-fructose corn syrup]]. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=March 10 |
|OriginalAirDate=March 10 |
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|ShortSummary=Colbert talks about [[Michael S. Steele|Michael Steele]]'s troubles within the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]]. He then urges people to keep |
|ShortSummary=Colbert talks about [[Michael S. Steele|Michael Steele]]'s troubles within the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]]. He then urges people to keep voting for his name to be on a new module on the [[International Space Station]] and discusses [[India]] and [[Iran]]'s [[space]] plans. He then speaks, via satellite, to [[William Gerstenmaier]] about the [[Kepler Mission]]. Next, Colbert worries his [[coffee]] intake has been causing [[hallucinations]]. Finally, he interviews [[Jay Keasling]] about engineering [[bacteria]] to produce [[fuel]]. |
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|ProdCode=5105 |
|ProdCode=5105 |
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|TheWord=Hippie Replacement |
|TheWord=Hippie Replacement |
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|Guest= |
|Guest=David Wondrich, [[Kurt Andersen]] |
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|IntroPhrase=''None'' |
|IntroPhrase=''None'' |
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|OriginalAirDate=August 4 |
|OriginalAirDate=August 4 |
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|IntroPhrase="Ninety percent of US currency has traces of cocaine on it. That should boost our exchange rate. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="Ninety percent of US currency has traces of cocaine on it. That should boost our exchange rate. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=August 17 |
|OriginalAirDate=August 17 |
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|ShortSummary=Obama's op-ed "Why We Need Health Care Reform", price of postage stamps, ''Better Know a District'': [[Colorado's 2nd congressional district]] ([[Jared Polis]]), climate change |
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|IntroPhrase="Congratulations, Brett Favre, on setting the NFL record for incomplete retirements. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="Congratulations, Brett Favre, on setting the NFL record for incomplete retirements. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=August 18 |
|OriginalAirDate=August 18 |
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|ShortSummary=[[Afghan presidential election, 2009]], Archie proposes to Veronica, ''Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger'', ''[[The Evolution of God]]'' |
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|IntroPhrase=''None'' |
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|OriginalAirDate=August 19 |
|OriginalAirDate=August 19 |
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|ShortSummary=[[Barney Frank]]'s response in a town hall meting about health care reform, sugar shortage in the US, ''Colbert Platinum'': AIG's CEO planned vacation, ''[[Taking Woodstock]]'' |
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|IntroPhrase="After the show I'm on vacation, so nobody do anything newsworthy for three weeks! This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="After the show I'm on vacation, so nobody do anything newsworthy for three weeks! This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=August 20 |
|OriginalAirDate=August 20 |
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|ShortSummary=French town bans circus elephants from beach, anti-Obama items sold on eBay, world population projected to reach 7 billion in 2011, Chris Matthews running for Senate, ''The Kennedy Brothers'' documentary |
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{{Episode list/Colbert |
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|Guest=Karim Sadjadpour, [[Maria Shriver]] |
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|IntroPhrase="If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then beat 'em. They'll never see it coming. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
|IntroPhrase="If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Then beat 'em. They'll never see it coming. This is ''The Colbert Report''." |
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|OriginalAirDate=November 10 |
|OriginalAirDate=November 10 |
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! # !! style="width:80px;"| First aired !! style="width:80px;"| "The Wørd" !! style="width: |
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{{Episode list/Colbert |
{{Episode list/Colbert |
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Revision as of 15:21, 23 September 2011
This list of episodes of The Colbert Report details information on all 2009 episodes of The Colbert Report, a popular Comedy Central show hosted by Stephen Colbert, and produced by Colbert, Jon Stewart, and Ben Karlin. Colbert plays the role of a populist blowhard journalist character, similar to his character on The Daily Show. In The Colbert Report, the former correspondent becomes the host of his own parody of media pundit programs, such as The O'Reilly Factor and Hannity and Colmes.
There are a number of noteworthy recurring elements in most episodes of The Colbert Report. Most episodes feature "The Wørd" of the day, which serves as a theme for a monologue early in the episode, each has a studio guest later in the episode, and each begins with a brief summary of what the episode will contain, followed by an introductory phrase and then by the theme music. This introductory phrase very often inserts the word truth into a common phrase, such as "Apply truth liberally to the inflamed area," and "this is The Colbert Report" follows, though there are exceptions.
Season 5 (2009)
January
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
|---|
February
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
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March
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
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April
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
|---|
May
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
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June
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
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July
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
|---|
August
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
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September
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
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October
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
|---|
November
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
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December
| # | First aired | "The Wørd" | Studio guest | Introductory phrase | Prod# |
|---|
