Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Biscayne National Park/archive1

Biscayne National Park

Biscayne National Park (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

• Featured article candidates/Biscayne National Park/archive1

Nominator(s): Acroterion (talk) 17:51, 3 February 2013 (UTC)

I visited Biscayne National Park briefly in November 2012, and realized that it had a fascinating history and situation. How many national parks in the US are 95% water, have a nuclear power plant just outside the boundary, are regularly whacked by hurricanes, were pirates' lairs, have four distinct ecosystems, and were the playground of the rich and famous? The version I started with [1] didn't tell that story. The developed version has been peer-reviewed by Brianboulton, whose comments were encouraging, and I've had the help and advice of MONGO, an experienced writer of FAs on protected areas. I've done a check for copied public-domain material that was once prevalent in these sorts of articles, and I'm confident that none remains. Acroterion (talk) 17:51, 3 February 2013 (UTC)

Image review

• Check grammar on Geography captions
  • Cleaned up the captions. Acroterion (talk) 14:48, 8 February 2013 (UTC)
• Where possible, use a specific PD tag rather than the general USGov tag - for example, the "safety valve" image should use {{PD-USGov-DOC-NOAA}}. Nikkimaria (talk) 13:48, 8 February 2013 (UTC)
  • Tags updated. I've removed an elderly low-resolution image that was more decorative than otherwise (and not very much at that) and replaced it with the hurricane landfall. I've never been that enamored of the infobox sunset image on the same grounds, and am thinking of replacing it with an underwater view. Acroterion (talk) 15:18, 8 February 2013 (UTC)

*Comments - I read this through once on my phone while at the gym...will jot any queries below - looking promising....Casliber (talk · contribs) 12:43, 12 February 2013 (UTC)

Try to amalgamate the text in the Bay waters section into 2-3 paras. Might rejig the order of some of the sentences to get a good flow. nice work.

I've rearranged it into two paragraphs that move from generalities to specifics. Acroterion (talk) 03:00, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

Same with Coral reef and offshore waters (2 paras this time)

Did that, then the last paragraph looked short, so I've expanded to note that the deeper waters offshore are designated as a marine sanctuary. Acroterion (talk) 03:00, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

Try to avoid standalone sentences, like the last one in Climate - can we tack it on somewhere (or expand it?)

I've expanded it, as the subject deserves more attention in the article. I've avoided projections past 2060, as better data will be coming out this year on the rate of rise. Acroterion (talk) 03:32, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

In the Exotic species section, I'd remove the first sentence and replace it with the second para's first sentence, which repeats the material but is more precise.

Done. Acroterion (talk) 03:01, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

Ok, I think I am ready to (cautiously) support on comprehensiveness and prose - I don't see any clangers prosewise but I guess we'll see what others find. Casliber (talk · contribs) 08:18, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

Received a request to review this candidacy. Good structure, well referenced. A few suggestions:

• The official park map should be US Government public domain, right? Would be very useful to see a visual outline of the park's boundaries (linked for convenience, can be modified for article display).
• The article introduction gives a misleading impression that the only endangered species within the park boundaries are cacti and palms. One of the more interesting and significant things about this park is the variety of endangered species that live there, including the American Crocodile (definitely endangered, and an impressive creature--one of the world's largest crocodilians). Rather than listing specific endangered species, might be better to provide an estimate of the scope and variety.
• If I recall correctly, south Florida has the only habitats in the world where alligators and crocodiles coexist. Don't have a source for that unfortunately (learned it many years ago) but should be easily verifiable if true. Worth mentioning even though alligators are relatively uncommon within park grounds.
• Are there endangered insects and endangered fish in the park?
• Might be useful to organize the bird population in terms of migratory patterns. Florida is the winter migratory location for a variety of North American bird species and the summer migratory location for several South American and Mesoamerican species. Since it's one of the few major land masses in this part of the world at that latitude that isn't arid, the variety of species is incredible. Could be good to provide an indication of which season various species would be present, as well as a mention of the nonmigratory species (the Snail Kite comes to mind because it's a common site in the Everglades, although am unsure whether apple snails would be found around Biscayne Bay).
• A handful of phrases could use a little proofreading polish. One of the facts most readers would be unfamiliar with is that "island" and "key" or "cay" are essentially interchangeable terms in this part of the world (the latter two originated from the Taino people of the Bahamas). Might be too much of a digression to give the etymology, so not sure how to rephrase "The largest key or island is..." which is a turn of phrase that could easily give the impression that keys and islands are different. Subordinate commas might solve that dilemma. Another much simpler phrasing that needs minor editing is, "as well as an occasional crocodiles..."

Overall, great work. Mainly could use a bit of expansion about the ecology. [Disclaimer: as a basically inactive editor this is more of a list of suggestions rather than a list of conditions for supporting the nomination; can't guarantee a followup here at the FAC but will respond if queried at user talk]. Durova⁴¹² 03:16, 12 March 2013 (UTC)