Talk:Masrour Barzani: Difference between revisions

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Halgurd1 (talk · contribs) has been paid by the Kurdistan Regional Government.

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You can see the reason for deletion at the file description page linked above. —Community Tech bot (talk) 21:51, 10 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Proposed changes to lead

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Hi, I’m replacing my original post here to try to make it clearer.

I've drafted a proposed updated lead in my sandbox. The changes I'm proposing are to:

Start with his role as Prime Minister rather than his Kurdistan Democratic Party membership
Include the terms "autonomous federal" to describe the Kurdistan Region, as designated by the 2005 Iraqi constitution – see timeline at the bottom of this BBC article
Correct "former Chancellor of the Kurdistan Region Security Council" – he's still the Chancellor of the KRSC (see this Kurdistan 24 article)
Correct the June 2019 vote count, which was 87 not 88 (see same K24 article above)
Correct "President Masoud Barzani" – Masoud Barzani is the former President
Include a short career summary sentence – Peshmerga, UK and US education, return to the Kurdistan Region

Let me know if these suggestions are acceptable. Thank you. Halgurd1 (talk) 10:49, 4 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@@ Line 20: / Line 20: @@
 You can see the reason for deletion at the file description page linked above. —[[User:Community Tech bot|Community Tech bot]] ([[User talk:Community Tech bot|talk]]) 21:51, 10 July 2019 (UTC)
-== Suggestions for the lead ==
+== Proposed changes to lead ==
+{{request edit}}
+Hi, I’m replacing my [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Masrour_Barzani&oldid=925618616 original post] here to try to make it clearer.
-Hi, I work at the Council of Ministers within the [[Kurdistan Regional Government]], so I’m here as a paid editor. I've put a connected contributor tag above.
+I've drafted a proposed updated lead in my [[User:Halgurd1/sandbox|sandbox]]. The changes I'm proposing are to:
-I think the lead to this article could do with a few updates – specifically:
-#As he is now Prime Minister it should start with that as his main role.
+#Start with his role as Prime Minister rather than his Kurdistan Democratic Party membership
-#He is actually still Chancellor of the KRSC, as per this [https://www.kurdistan24.net/en/news/b84d2a43-a2c0-4b13-8405-3298695ea297 Kurdistan 24 article].
+#Include the terms "autonomous federal" to describe the Kurdistan Region, as designated by the 2005 Iraqi constitution – see timeline at the bottom of this [https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-28147263 BBC article]
+#Correct "former Chancellor of the Kurdistan Region Security Council" – he's still the Chancellor of the KRSC (see [https://www.kurdistan24.net/en/news/b84d2a43-a2c0-4b13-8405-3298695ea297 this Kurdistan 24 article])
-#Also as per the article above, the correct number for the vote count in June is actually 87, not 88 – while 88 MPs voted for him, 87 was the number which Parliament recorded.
+#Correct the June 2019 vote count, which was 87 not 88 (see same K24 article above)
-#Masoud Barzani is no longer the President.
+#Correct "President Masoud Barzani" – Masoud Barzani is the former President
-#I think it could also benefit from just a little more in the way of a summary of his biography as a whole, in line with most BLPs.
+#Include a short career summary sentence – Peshmerga, UK and US education, return to the Kurdistan Region
-I have worked on a possible version in my [[User:Halgurd1/sandbox|sandbox]] which incorporates these points. If anyone has some time to have a look and get back to me here that would be great. Thanks. [[User:Halgurd1|Halgurd1]] ([[User talk:Halgurd1|talk]]) 07:10, 11 November 2019 (UTC)
+Let me know if these suggestions are acceptable. Thank you. [[User:Halgurd1|Halgurd1]] ([[User talk:Halgurd1|talk]]) 10:49, 4 December 2019 (UTC)