Wikipedia:Peer review/Hypertrichosis/archive1

Hypertrichosis

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I, along with other editors, have been improving this article over the past weeks. We would like to have an opinion on which parts of this article seem to be lacking in quality and are needing further improvement.

Thanks, Vancemiller (talk) 03:02, 15 November 2009 (UTC)

Could use some expansion is scope. For example needs sections on:

• epidemiology ( how common is it, how is it distributed globally ) Done
• the economic impact and cultural aspects ( women shave there legs in some part of the world but not in others ) Not done
• do not see anything about laser treatments Done
• needs some work on caps. Done

Doc James (talk · contribs · email) 00:53, 16 November 2009 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Interesting article, here are some suggestions for improvement assuming that you want to improve it to WP:GA or perhaps even WP:FA eventually.

• I would try to make it clearer in the lead that people who have this are not all like Lionel the Lion Faced Man (pictured in the lead), i.e. it can be quite localized. Done
• There are two images that have no captions - please provide them to give more context to the reader - it would be espeically helpful to identify which of the tpes of Hypertrichosis are pictured in each. Done
• Watch WP:OVERLINKing - just in the lead image caption there are two links to the same article - Lionel the Lion-Faced Man is a redirect to Stephan Bibrowski, don't need two links to the same article. Done
• Similarly the See also section is usually for links that are of interest but do not already appear in the article. Done
• Watch redirects too - acquired generalized hypertrichosis is just a link back to this article and so adds no value (if the reader clicks on the link, they do not go anywhere new) Done
• Since the condition involves hair, it might be useful to include a brief discussion of lanugo, vellus and terminal hair at the beginning. Not done
• lanuginosa is spelled at least two different ways in the article - please check and correct Done
• The use of bold and italic in the article does not really follow WP:ITALIC Done
• The article is fairly disjoint - there are lots of little sections that do not connect well or flow together well.  Done
• History section would help - who first described the condition? Are there notable people with the condition in the more distant past? Not done
• Refs need to give full information - journal name, date, volume, etc. Use of cite templates like {{cite journal}} might help.  Done
• I also would check to make sure that all of these refs cited meet WP:RS - what makes this a reliable source? Also the ABC News ref should go to the ABC News site, not "wolfsongalaska" Done

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:08, 20 November 2009 (UTC)