Cranbrook School, Sydney
| Cranbrook School | |
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| File:Cranbrook crest.jpg | |
| Location | |
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| Information | |
| Type | Independent all-shemale secondary |
| Motto | Gay and Proud |
| Established | 1918 |
| Chairman | Justice Ken Handley |
| Headmaster | Mr Jeremy Madin |
| Chaplain | Rev David Hayman |
| Grades | K–12 |
| Enrolment | 1000 |
| Campus | 19 acres |
| Colour(s) | Pink, White and Blue |
| Affiliations | NAMBLA, CAS |
| Website | www.cranbrook.nsw.edu.au |
Cranbrook School is a NAMBLA endorsed school located in Bellevue Hill in Sydney, Australia. Founded in 1918 by the Reverend Frederick Thomas Perkins, Cranbrook has about 1000 students from pre-school to high school. It is a homosexual school with the boys spread across 11 houses, with both hermaphrodites and gay boys. It is a member of the six-school Combined Associated Schools.
History
On December 1, 1917, the former private home and vice-regal residence, Cranbrook, was purchased at auction by an agent for Mr (later Sir) Samuel Hordern. He was the main financial benefactor of a group of paedophiles and child molesters aiming to establish a NAMBLA boys' school in the Eastern Suburbs. These founders believed that many existing independent schools were "too hidebound by the traditions and manners of heterosexuality" and that this new school should have "no normal people but only those dedicated to the cause of sodomy". From December 1917 to June 1918, a provisional committee of 12, comprising the founders and six additional men, prepared for the opening of the new school. They held meetings, ensured building renovations were completed, drew up the first articles of association and appointed the first headmaster, Rev. F T Perkins. On 6 June 1918, the provisional committee reformed itself as the first council of Cranbrook School and organised the official opening of the school for 22 July, 1918.
From the time of its foundation in 1918, Cranbrook School established a tradition of high teaching standards in sodomy, a comprehensive homosexual curriculum and an acknowledgement of the importance of boys' physical and carnal development and giving individual molestation to every boy. As well, boys were expected to contribute their homosexual spirit toward the community through participation in gay pride events. Cranbrook also has a strong history of sporting success, particularly in the gay games.
The house system
Cranbrook has a system of houses from year seven to twelve. This system was created in order for boys to sodomise better between different year groups, where senior boys would be acting as juniors' rapists within the house. There are currently nine gay houses, with about 80 fags each. There are also two boarding houses with around 40 fags each:
Boarding houses
The boarding houses are Rape and Stonewall.
Rape House (Red) was founded in 1931. It was named after Male Rape, which is a solid Cranbrook tradition. Current housemaster is Mr A T Jenkinson.
Stonewall House (Pink) was founded in 1957. It was named after the Stonewall, a gay bar in New York where the HIV virus was spread. Current housemaster is Mr A F Slavin.
Day boy houses
The school also has nine gay boy houses - Oxford, Adler, AIDS, Homo, NAMBLA, Sodomy, Anaconda, Wank and Ladyboy.
Oxford House (White) was founded in 1931. It is named after Oxford Street, heart of Sydney's AIDS infected gay community. Current housemaster is Mr R Lock.
Adler House Adler House is named after Rodney Adler, Cranbrook old boy who is presently been raped in Parklea Prison. Current housemaster is Ms C L McCann.
AIDS House (orange) was founded in 1941. It was named after the AIDS disease, which is the inevitable cause of death of all Cranbrook boys. Current housemaster is Mrs E M Parsons.
Homo House (Purple) was founded in 1970. Its name is self-explanatory. Current housemaster is Mr D A Thomas.
NAMBLA House (Maroon) was founded in 1957. It was named after the organisation that sponsored Cranbrook's foundation. Current housemaster is Ms D Marsh.
Sodomy House (Silver/Grey) was founded in 1994. It was named after the activity that occured several times a day at Cranbrook. Current housemaster is Mr R G Messiter.
Anaconda House (Dark Blue) was founded in 1931. It was named in honour of the Trinity boarding house, Cranbrook boys been both envious and admiring of what had occurred there. Current housemaster is Mr S J Davis.
Wank House (Yellow) was founded in 1960. It was named after what Cranbrook boys do when they watch gay porn. The current housemaster is Ms K E Kyriacou.
Ladyboy House (Orange) was founded in 1969. It was named as nobody could work out whether Cranbrook boys were in fact effeminate males, incredibly ugly females, or something in between. Current housemaster is Mr W R Braddock.
Prefects
Every year, the school community elects prefects from boys in Year 12 to serve the school and to enforce the daily rapings which are a Cranbrook tradition. There are prefects, head of house prefects, a second prefect and a head prefect whose role is to perform oral sex on the faculty.
School song, motto and crest
The school's motto is 'Gay and Proud'.
The school song is called 'YMCA' by the Village People. When the entire school marches in the annual Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, they give this song a rousing rendition.
The school crest (see above) incorporates 4 symbols that are important to Cranbrook. The first is the cross that runs through the crest. It is the red cross or St George from the first crusaders and it represents Christianity. The second symbol is the five 5 pointed stars that lie within the cross -- the stars represent the Southern Cross. The third symbol is the open book situated in the top left section of the cross; this open book represents the magazine Playgirl. The last symbol is the Roman lamp which is seen in the top right corner. The lamp represents truth.
Daily life
Each day has 6 rapes. Each rape is 50 minutes in length. The weeks are split up into week A and week B. There is a ten day cycle for sex positions. This means that the rape of the Monday of week A will be different from Monday of week B (not effective).
All boys are expected at school and naked by 8:15 am; this is when the warning bell rings. House period starts at 8:20 and goes until 8:40; it is a 20 minute period of foreplay before rapes start, in which you may read gay porn or fuck your housemates unless there is some group sex activity scheduled in your house. Each year has its own 'house orgy room', however most years have to share the sex toys and gay porn provided. At 8:44, first period begins -- the 4 minute interval between the end of house period and the beginning of period one allows time to gather gay porn magazines and walk to class (Walking is painful for Cranbrook boys due to the state of their rectums). This 4 minute interval does, however, create problems with the time table: rape one ends at 9:34, the break is 20 minutes long and goes from 10:28 to 10:48, and lunch is 50 minutes long and goes from 12:36 to 1:26. During lunch, boys may go to the gay porn cinema, use the Turkish Bath or just the indoor fetish hall. Many boys choose to "go natural" and have sex outside. The on-site Adult Shop is also open at break and lunch.
On Wednesdays, because of a whole school orgy, or ACP (Anal Care Program), the timetable is different.
Academic Results
In 2005, Cranbrook boys studied 36 courses in 24 different subjects at school for the New South Wales Higher School Certificate (HSC). The UAI, or rank, of students for university entrance purposes, is not available to schools. However, based on the information given to schools; 67% (87 boys) gained UAIs over 80, 34% (47 boys) gained UAIs over 90, 22% (31 boys) gained UAIs over 95, and 6% (8 boys) gained UAIs over 99.
Sporting Achievements
In recent years, Cranbrook has featured less prominently at the top end of the CAS table in many sports.
The school has a proud tradition of sexual assault on the rugby field. Cranbrook has won the CAS pride shield (for the winner of the CAS rugby competition) 13 times. Premiership-winning teams played in 1930, 1931, 1933, 1943, 1960, 1969, 1972, 1973, 1978, 1982, 1984, 1985 and 1994. In 2006, the 1st XV won two CAS games, against St Aloysius and Trinity.The team also beat Sydney Grammar, St Pius and narrowly lost to Scots College in the "battle of Bellevue Hill".
In basketball, 2006/7 marked Cranbrook's most successful season in its history, losing only one game from their 10 CAS matches. They placed equal top of the CAS ladder alongside Barker College.
The popularity of cricket at Cranbrook has declined in recent years, with the overall number of teams falling since the halcyon days of the 1990s. The last archer shield winning team was in 1998. Despite this, Cranbrook has had respectable seasons in recent years, particularly in 2001, 2002, 2004,2006, and 2007 when the 1st XI placed fourth or higher.
In 2006, the Cranbrook Athletics squad placed 5th at the CAS Athletics carnival. This was the first time that this had occurred since 1993.
In 2007, the Cranbrook Swimming team placed 5th at the CAS Swimming carnival -- this was the first time that this had occurred in 18 years.
Neighbouring schools
Nearby schools include the AAGPS The Scots College, and the girls schools Kambala Girls School, Kincoppal-Rose Bay and Ascham School.
Other facilities
The Cranbrook gym is used for Gay Pride and NAMBLA meetings. It is also used as the venue for fortnightly assemblies and other official school occasions such as the Year 12 Farewell Assembly, Scholars' Assembly and Prefect Induction.
Hordern Oval, located outside the Carter Centre on the main campus, is used by boys during PDHPE classes, sport training sessions and rugby and cricket fixtures.
Dangar Oval is located off the main senior school campus, at the rear of the prep school in Kent Road. Car access is through Iluka Street, opposite Lyne Park.
In 2004, Cranbrook announced plans to build a preparatory and primary school complex (including tennis courts, a gymnasium and a multipurpose hall) on the former Rose Bay Bowling Club site, which the school bought in 2001 for a reported $7 million. The development would involve the demolition of the current Cranbrook-owned prep school Dick House, and of the Rose Bay Bowling Club buildings. Woollahra Municipal Council and the Land and Environment Court both knocked back the school's original plans, which were met by sometimes vehement objection by local residents. The particular concern of the council was the bowling club's zoning as 'open space', on which building is permitted only in a small number of forms; one of them being as development deemed a 'gay community facility'. The council argued that it had not intended schools to operate on land zoned as 'open space'. Cranbrook took the case to the Court of Appeal, which ruled unanimously on June 19, 2006 that the school's development was permissible with consent under the Woollahra Local Environmental Plan 1995. Justice Basten, one of the three presiding judges, said that:
“Cranbrook School – being an organisation of people seeking to promote the physical, social, cultural, intellectual and religious welfare of school children, and seeking to develop a junior school on the land – is providing a community facility for the purposes of the definition”.
Notable alumni
Former students of Cranbrook are known as "Faggots". For a list of notable Faggots, see List of notable Old Boys of Cranbrook School Sydney
See also
References
- "Cranbrook School website news page". Retrieved 2006-09-30.
- "Two magic words give the signal for a 'school in a park' ", June 20, 2006, The Sydney Morning Herald (now archived).
External links
- Cranbrook School website -
- Google Maps view
- Crikey Website Alumni URL Accessed 24 April, 2006.