Milhouse Van Houten
Template:Simpsons character Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten is a fictional character featured in the animated television series The Simpsons, voiced by Pamela Hayden. He is Bart Simpson's best friend in Mrs. Krabappel's fourth grade class at Springfield Elementary School.
The only child of Kirk and Luann Van Houten, Milhouse's most distinctive physical traits are his extreme nearsightedness (depicted by very small eyes), requiring thick glasses to correct, and a huge nose about the size of a softball.
Despite being considered a nerd, Milhouse is of average intelligence but has poor social skills. He is also very gullible, thus he is constantly led into trouble by the mischievous Bart, who is not shy about taking advantage of his naive and trusting friend. Milhouse is one of the few residents in Springfield with eyebrows, a trait he shares with his parents (although in "A Milhouse Divided", it is shown that his mother Luann wears false eyebrows).
Profile
Milhouse is constantly victimized in some form or another such as frequently being the target of the bullies Jimbo Jones, Dolph and Kearney. They often inflict extreme acts of physical violence upon Milhouse. One instance had the bullies wrapping Milhouse in bumper stickers and placing him in a shopping cart. After Jimbo claimed that "the mummy's ready for his mystical journey!", the bullies pushed the cart with Milhouse inside down a very steep hill. He frequently visited a female psychiatrist called Dr. Waxler until she got fed up by his frequent callings. Milhouse is also the subject of Nelson's cruelty: "stop (hitting, zapping, etc.) yourself." He also still uses a child-size carseat and is a bedwetter.
On one occasion, Bart got Milhouse placed on the America's Most Wanted list, even though they are friends, and he once tried to lure Milhouse into a cactus. This kind of torture is used in many episodes, where Bart tries either to get Milhouse in trouble or to hurt him for no reason, making Milhouse's and Bart's relationship even more questionable. Homer also seems to like joining in on his son's torment of Milhouse although to a much lesser extent (constantly referring to him as "that little weiner Milhouse").
Perhaps due to his name (see below), the writers frequently make Milhouse the butt of a variety of jokes, ranging from being beat up by Nelson for delivering a love note from Lisa (that Nelson thought was from Milhouse himself), to having the door slammed in his face while playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey, to having his possible budding homosexuality given away by his school counselor, to making him a wanted fugitive (see above), to inadvertently inheriting Bart's dismal permanent record at school through a side deal arranged between Bart and Edna Krabappel and Principal Skinner, which will disqualify Milhouse from "all but the hottest and noisiest jobs". In the episode Lisa's Date with Density we learn that Milhouse has a dog that appears to be a brown Shih Tzu.
Milhouse is of partly Italian ancestry, due to the fact that his grandmother lives in Italy, and his last name could be presumed to be of Dutch origins.
Romance and sexuality
Milhouse harbors a hopeless crush on Bart's younger sister, Lisa, and he is usually clumsy around females. However, in a flashback in "Lisa's Sax" (during the time that Bart and Milhouse were in kindergarten), a school counselor accidentally revealed that he had assessed Milhouse to be gay, and indeed, the show often implies Milhouse may be homosexual or bisexual.[citation needed] On occasion he has been shown to enjoy cross-dressing. In the episode "Lisa's Wedding," it is implied that Lisa loses her virginity to Milhouse, but according to Marge, "Milhouse doesn't count."
Milhouse has exhibited a tendency to begin acting rather ridiculously masculine, complete with clichéd catch phrases and mannerisms. This case of social anxiety has lost him Lisa's heart three times, as well as a relationship with Rainier Wolfcastle's daughter Greta.
In The Simpsons Movie, Lisa shows concern for Milhouse when he is beaten by Nelson and left in a heap, and tends to him. This rare moment of affection however is brief, as she becomes distracted by the arrival of Irish environmentalist Collin, who becomes her love interest throughout the remainder of the film. Milhouse makes a second appearance in the film's closing moments, lying to Lisa about Collin's fate and revealing he has died, and that he begged Milhouse to look after her. Collin returns in the midst of Milhouse's story, and he quickly takes his leave.
Milhouse's first girlfriend was Samantha Stanky, a new student who had moved to Springfield from Phoenix, Arizona in the episode "Bart's Friend Falls in Love". After her father caught her and Milhouse kissing, he sent her to a French Canadian Catholic girls' school. She hasn't been heard from since; however, she is seen in the background in some episodes. While Milhouse's official first kiss was with Samantha Stanky in the aforementioned episode, it was contradicted in the episode The Way We Weren't, where Milhouse claims his first kiss was with Homer Simpson during a game of spin the bottle that Homer interrupted.
Skills and talents
Milhouse is fluent in Italian due to visiting his English-language-hating grandmother Sofia in Tuscany for two weeks every year.[citation needed] Because of his grandmother's beatings, Milhouse learned Italian and started to wet his bed.
Milhouse is allergic to honey, wheat, dairy, non-dairy and even his own tears. He also says that real milk can kill him (though when Homer hands him rat's milk, which Milhouse believes to be cow's milk, he drinks it).
He has also demonstrated that he is a skilled Vespa rider, although he is obviously not legally entitled to operate a scooter on public roads. It is also in this episode that Milhouse had come closest to wooing Lisa, as she even kept a picture of Milhouse in her room while practicing Italian. It is implied that she is captivated by his impressive command of the language during a rather romantic outing to the local Italian immigrant establishment. However, he once again reaches a roadblock due to his ongoing fatal flaw when it comes to girls.