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Vampires Suck

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Vampires Suck
Theatrical release poster
Directed byJason Friedberg
Aaron Seltzer
Screenplay byJason Friedberg
Aaron Seltzer
Produced byPeter Safran
StarringJenn Proske
Matt Lanter
Christopher N. Riggi
Ken Jeong
Anneliese van der Pol
CinematographyShawn Maurer
Edited byPeck Prior
Music byChristopher Lennertz
Production
companies
Distributed by20th Century Fox
Release date
  • August 18, 2010 (2010-08-18)
Running time
86 minutes
CountryTemplate:FilmUS
LanguageEnglish
Budget$20 million[1]
Box office$77,683,029 (Worldwide)[2]

Vampires Suck is a 2010 American vampire spoof film based on the Twilight film series[3] and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. It stars Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Christopher N. Riggi, Ken Jeong, and Anneliese van der Pol.[4]

Plot

Becca Crane (Jenn Proske) moves to Sporks to live with her clueless father, Sheriff Frank (Diedrich Bader), after her mother starts an affair with Tiger Woods. Meanwhile killings have been happening to random people and the number one suspects are the Kardashians. Becca is quickly befriended by many students at her new high school, including Jennifer (Anneliese van der Pol) but she is intrigued by the mysterious and aloof Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter), who perplexes her during their time in the biology class. Later, Becca is nearly struck by a van in the school parking lot. Edward inexplicably moves from several feet away and stops the vehicle with a student without any harm to himself or Becca, the student being badly injured. He later refuses to explain this act to Becca and warns her against befriending him. After much research, but reaching the wrong conclusion that he is a Jonas Brother, Edward corrects her saying he's a vampire, though he only consumes animal blood and shows her the shiny bling he wears under his clothes. The pair fall in love but Edward denies having sex with her and instead introduces Becca to his vampire family on her birthday. While unwrapping a gift, Becca gets a paper cut, causing Edward's family to relapse by her blood's scent and attempt to kill her. Realizing the danger that he and his family pose to Becca, Edward ends their relationship while saving her from the one of the three nomadic vampires who have been killing humans, Jack (Charlie Weber), knocking his head off with a baseball bat.

Edward's departure leaves Becca heartbroken and depressed for months as she discovers that thrill-seeking activities evoke Edward's preserved image. She is also comforted by her deepening friendship with Jacob White (Christopher N. Riggi), the cheerful childhood friend who eases her pain over losing Edward. But due to his strange puberty, Becca discovers he has become a Chihuahua as his "pack" arrive to maul another of the nomadic vampires. Edward has moved to Brazil and is now dating Lady Gaga but through a series of miscommunications, Edward believes Becca has killed herself and attempts to provoke the "Zolturi" — a powerful vampire coven capable of killing him — by standing naked in the sunlight at the site of the 'St. Salvatore's day' school prom. Becca rushes to the prom in a Porsche Carrera to save Edward. Upon arrival, she is slowed down during the warring factions of Edward fangirls and Jacob fangirls. She is unable to make it in time as Edward exposes himself, figuratively and literally. However, an eclipse starts and thus concealing Edward's vampire nature as Becca gets him to safety. However after a fight between him and the Zolturi leader, Daro (Ken Jeong), Edward is forced to make Becca into a vampire so their lives would be spared. He does so after Becca agrees to marry him if he makes her a vampire and his wife. The movie concludes with Edward taking a blow to the head by the head Jacob fangirl (though surviving the blow), who ends up being attacked by the vampirized Becca.[5]

Cast

Release Date

Vampires Suck was released on August 18, 2010 in the United States and Russia, August 26 in Australia and was released on October 15 in the United Kingdom.[6] 20th Century Fox did not provide advance screenings of the film for critics.[7]

Reception

Vampires Suck has received overwhelmingly negative reviews from critics, and it currently has an approval rating of 5% on Rotten Tomatoes, with the consensus being "Witlessly broad and utterly devoid of laughs, Vampires Suck represents a slight step forward for the Friedberg-Seltzer team." making it the lowest rated movie in 2010.[8] Another review aggretator, Metacritic, which consists of a normalized rating from 0–100 on reviews from mainstream critics, calculated an average score of 18 based on 16 critics.[9] Jenn Proske's performance received some praise.[10][11] Spill.com, whose video reviews are usually around five minutes long, had a twenty second review which consisted of Korey Coleman staring blankly into the camera before uttering, "f*** you".[12][13] The review by Peter Travers of Rolling Stone was only four words long, which simply stated: "This movie sucks more."[14] Film critic Mark Kermode reviewed the film on his Radio 5 show, prefacing the review by saying "It's no surprise to know that it's all terrible, witless, boring, terror". He criticized the film for what he perceived as stale subject matter, saying that the Twilight franchise had left the public consciousness and was no-longer fit for parody, "It's not just that the ship has sailed; it's that the ship has sailed, gone across the Atlantic, hit an iceberg, sunk, been dragged up at least one company, been turned into the biggest movie hit ever, and is now currently being retrofitted for 3D for an anniversary re-release."[15]

Release

Box office

On Wednesday, August 18, the film opened at #1 with $4,016,858.[16] On Thursday, August 19, the film dropped to #3 behind The Expendables and Eat Pray Love with $2,347,044.[17] By the weekend, Vampires Suck landed at #2 behind The Expendables and $200,000 over Eat Pray Love.[18] The full second week the film dropped to #11, grossing no more than $500 per theater, respectively. In its second weekend, the film dropped more than 50% from its opening weekend but rose to #6. As of September 30, 2010 the film has grossed $36,207,226 domestically.[19]

Home media

Vampires Suck will be released on DVD and Blu-Ray on November 30, 2010.

References

  1. ^ "Box office / business for Vampires Suck (2010)". Internet Movie Database. Retrieved August 20, 2010 (2010-08-20). {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)
  2. ^ "Vampires Suck (2010)". Box Office Mojo. 2010-10-14.
  3. ^ Post Store (August 19, 2010). "Movie review: 'Twilight' parody 'Vampires Suck' lives up to its name". Washingtonpost.com. Retrieved 2010-09-01.
  4. ^ Vampires Suck on Facebook (official page), "Info". Retrieved July 12, 2010.
  5. ^ "Vampires Suck Movie". Retrieved August 11, 2010.
  6. ^ "Vampires Suck - International Release Dates". vampiressuckmovie.com. Retrieved July 23, 2010.
  7. ^ Lumenick, Lou. New York Post, August 9, 2010, "'Vampires Suck' dodges critics' stakes, at least temporarily". Retrieved August 10, 2010.
  8. ^ "Vampires Suck Movie Reviews, Pictures". Rotten Tomatoes. Flixster. Retrieved August 20, 2010.
  9. ^ "Vampies Suck Reviews, Ratings, Credits, and More at Metacritic". Metacritic. CBS Interactive. Retrieved August 20, 2010.
  10. ^ Persall, Steve (August 19, 2010). "Review: 'Vampires Suck' aims stake at heart of 'Twilight' fans". St. Petersburg Times. Retrieved August 21, 2010.
  11. ^ Markowitz, Adam (August 20, 2010). "Vampires Suck". Entertainment Weekly. Retrieved August 21, 2010.
  12. ^ Spill.com, "Vampires Suck". Retrieved August 26, 2010.
  13. ^ “”. "Vampires Suck | Spill.com Movie Reviews". YouTube. Retrieved 2010-09-01.{{cite web}}: CS1 maint: extra punctuation (link) CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)
  14. ^ Travers, Peter (August 26, 2010). "Vampires Suck". Rolling Stone. Retrieved August 27, 2010.
  15. ^ Kermode, Mark (October 18, 2010). "Vampires Suck Reviewed by Mark Kermode". Retrieved October 18, 2010.
  16. ^ "Vampires Suck (Box Office Mojo)". Box Office Mojo. Retrieved August 20, 2010.
  17. ^ "Daily Box Office for Thursday, August 19, 2010". Box Office Mojo. 2010-08-19. Retrieved 2010-08-25.
  18. ^ "Weekend Box Office Results for August 20-22, 2010". Box Office Mojo. Retrieved 2010-08-25.
  19. ^ "Vampires Suck (Box Office Mojo)". Box Office Mojo. Retrieved September 05, 2010. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |accessdate= (help)
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