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Talk:Hyein

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Comments left by AfC reviewers

[edit]
  • Comment: Woops, forgot to mention - the lead needs some minor improvements. For the sentence "She embarked on her musical career at nine years old as a former member of the South Korean children's groups U.sso Girl and Play With Me Club", replace "embarked on" with "started" or "began" and remove "former". joeyquism (talk) 17:45, 3 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment: This looks great as it stands; however, I have a few suggestions.
    * Remove references from the lead (see MOS:LEAD)
    * If possible, add author information to the Korean sources. If no authors can be found, I'd put "Marie Claire Korea writer", "The Chosun Ilbo writer", etc.
    * [18] requires a comma between Zhang and Daisy.
    * "On 30 December, 2022, Louis Vuitton announced Lee as one of their new global house ambassadors" - Remove the comma between the month and year for this date as well as the other dmy dates (7 November 2017, 11 January 2019, and 1 July 2022), and move the reference tags to the end of the full sentence. This particular sentence would likely not be the subject of contention; however, the clause at the end ("youngest ambassador for the brand") could be contested.
    Otherwise, you've done a wonderful job. Thank you for your work! joeyquism (talk) 17:42, 3 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]