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Self-marriage is marriage by a person to themselves, also known as sologamy.[1][2][not in citation given] It is known as a commitment that honors and values the self-love, and self-compassion that one should have for oneself. Part of embarking on this journey is to reach the goal of living a happier life and decrease worldly sufferings, one at a time. It is based on the question "if you were in a relationship with someone who treated you the way you treat yourself, would you choose to stay in this relationship?"[3]

The idea of such a ceremony is also described in the book Quirkyalone: a manifesto for uncompromising romantics by Sasha Cagen. It can also refer to a self-uniting marriage, that is a marriage without an officiant.[4]

Self-marriage is not the usual norm of union between individuals but a number of people have put it into practice, considerably women. In itself, self-marriage seems to spark the cultural apprehension that is commitment. It's definitely a new way to connect with someone even if that person is themselves. For as long as marriage has been around, it is considered a societal pressure that eventually people succumb to despite the decline of marriage. [5]

It is not for everyone but it is for those that desire to feel closer to themselves and love themselves at a level that no other can. It is a chance to fulfill a bigger purpose not just within oneself but with the world and those around them. By performing self-marriage, a person can proclaim and sanctify the promises and values they want to make for themselves to love and be loved.[6]


There are countless of reasons why people may choose the lifestyle of self-marriage. A few reasons why people might do this is because the single population is growing. It can also be the lack of time a person has to meet someone, possessing an independent nature, or having a lack of trust with others. Self-marriage has been seen as selfish and narcissistic because it seems as if a person has completely given up on finding a significant other or creating relationships with others. Marriage is traditionally a commitment between two people and for those that choose this lifestyle can be seen as making their single life look foolish. As humans, one is in charge to take care of oneself from sickness to health, it is a responsibility that one has to live with. So to not have a partner to share your life and trying to do it on your own seems as if a person has reached a low point in the eyes of society. [7]


There are services that exist that assist in providing preparation in the time span that one is planning to marry themselves. Some Self-marrying programs include giving guidance, practice, and inquiries of support prior to the special day of marriage. Through self-marriage, an individual has the opportunity to proclaim the intentions, potential, and commitment to their true self. It gives a freedom to honor and appreciate life, values, and love. [8]

Ceremony rituals[edit]

The way ceremonies are held are almost the same as if its two individuals in matrimony. It can include guests, cake, and reception. Also, the person can have a private moment in a room where they can express self-love with a mirror and a candle. Joint self-marriage is also possible to be done with a partner or group to participate. One-on-one ceremonies are also possible whether its formal or non-formal that can be performed either at the beginning, middle, and or end of the ceremony. There's countless of ways that a person can perform these ceremonies to feel one with themselves. [9]

In popular culture[edit]

Japanese women seem to have gotten into this new trend. Cerca Travel reported by BBC and other media outlets have designed unique packages for the single brides that include the gown, hairstyle, limousine service, a hotel stay, and a photo album.[10]

Photographer Grace Gelder's Self Marriage was picked up by multiple media outlets in 2014 following an article in The Guardian Newspaper.

In Chris Morris's television series Jam a middle-aged man marries himself.[11]

In Glee Sue Sylvester not only married herself to herself, but also officiated the ceremony because she determined that she was the perfect partner for herself. Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and The City married herself after she is her Manolo's shoes are stolen. [12]