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Talk:Abraham Akaka/Archive 1

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Archive 1

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I have just modified one external link on Abraham Akaka. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

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Removed tag

@Kintetsubuffalo: I have removed your tag, after re-reading the article. If you have specific issues with the "tone" of the article, or anything else, please discuss here. This particular tag is not specific enough to know what you disagree with. It's just a cookie-cutter tag that doesn't say much, except you disagreed. — Maile (talk) 00:18, 7 April 2018 (UTC)

KAVEBEAR you've edited some of these that have to do with Hawaii's ministers. Do you have any idea what this might be about? — Maile (talk) 00:21, 7 April 2018 (UTC)

I've never edited this article in particular. However, there are some lines that I feel are concerning. One of them being, "...to become[4]"...Hawaii's most influential and widely known Hawaiian since Kamehameha the Great." From that pulpit, Akaka would become a champion for civil rights,[6] a spiritual guide to all levels of government servants, and statesman for the good of humanity."...especially the last few. It seems way to promotional and not neutral.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 01:22, 7 April 2018 (UTC)
Hmmm. Well, sometimes it takes an objective eye, and the original editor (me) can't see what others might. I'll have a look at it later. Looking at the date on this one, it might be the first Hawaiian minister article I did. — Maile (talk) 01:27, 7 April 2018 (UTC)
KAVEBEAR, you are sooooo right. Maybe the promotional, but whole article needs a re-work, which I'll do. Ewwwwwww .... how far I have come in finding sourcing, and in editing. My oh my, I should have taken a look at this a long time ago. — Maile (talk) 21:31, 7 April 2018 (UTC)
  • I've just finished an overhaul of this article, removing POV (etc.) and adding credible sources ... and much better prose. So, the reasons for the tag are now taken care of. — Maile (talk) 19:22, 15 April 2018 (UTC)
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