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Talk:Aubrey Dawkins/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Editorofthewiki (talk · contribs) 21:23, 21 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I will be reviewing this article. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 21:23, 21 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead
  • The lead is a little short.
Early life
  • "Dawkins spent much of his life in North Carolina while his father spent 11 years on Mike Krzyzewski's coaching staff at Duke." -- This is redundant, needs to be rephrased. Also, unclear which Dawkins is being referred to.
  • "Dawkins began as a freshman at St. Francis High School of Mountain View, California in 2009." -- This just doesn't sound right.
  • "As a senior, he stood at 6 feet 5 inches (1.96 m),[1] but by January of his senior season he reported no scholarship offers." -- This is not unusual, there are plenty of 6'5 players who received no scholarship offers.
  • My point was that many people who are 6'5 do NOT get scholarship offers for basketball, as the article seemed to imply. It is unususal for a player of Dawkins caliber though. Anyway I have rephrased it. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 13:37, 22 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "That year he was on the 2013 All-San Jose Mercury News boys basketball first team along with Aaron Gordon." -- I take it there were other players on the team.
  • "His grades were not sufficient to pursue a scholarship at Stanford and despite his relationship with Chris Collins, Northwestern was not interested in Dawkins given their commitments from wings Vic Law and Scottie Lindsey." -- I take it they were out of scholarships to give otherwise they would have offered one to Dawkins.
  • "If Michigan had not stepped in, it appeared that he would have committed to Dayton," -- This sounds speculative, perhaps you could just say he was also considering Dayton.
  • "In fact, during the 2014 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament, Dawkins attended the Sweet 16 round to watch his father's Stanford Cardinal play Dayton in the South Regional on March 27." -- This does not seem important.
  • Dayton was the school he was considering and was opposing the school coached by his father. I think the point is that he was considering Dayton seriously enough to travel to watch them in the NCAAA tournament, which is important, IMO. The fact that his father was coaching in the game is sort of incidental, but not enough so for it to be removed, IMO. Please advise further.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:39, 22 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Do you have any high school stats?
College
  • "Michigan won its Big Ten Conference home opener against Illinois in overtime on December 30, 2014 on the day it announced Jim Harbaugh would become the new Michigan Wolverines football head coach." -- Is it really important to mention the football coach?
  • "On January 17 Michigan defeated Northwestern,[16] but lost Caris LeVert for the season." -- I think is should be mentioned that LeVert was the leading scorer.
  • "Dawkins finished the regular season of his freshman year with an excellent week." -- Not encyclopedic.
  • "The 31 points was the most by a Michigan freshman since Trey Burke posted 32 against Minnesota on March 9, 2012 in the 2012 Big Ten Conference Men's Basketball Tournament and included eight three-point field goals (on 11 attempts), the second most ever by a Wolverine, the most by a Wolverine since Glen Rice posted 8 on March 23, 1989, vs. North Carolina in the 1989 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament and the most by a Big Ten player during the 2014–15 NCAA Division I men's basketball season, earning Dawkins the final Big Ten Freshman of the Week honor for the 2014–15 Big Ten Conference men's basketball season." -- This sentence is WAYY too long
  • Do you have college stats?
Personal
  • "He is the son of former Duke Naismith College Player of the Year, National Basketball Association point guard and Stanford head coach Johnny Dawkins." -- This was already mentioned.

On hold for 7 days. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 22:04, 21 July 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I'm feeling comfortable enough passing this one. The article still has issues, but I believe it meets the GA criteria. Cheers! ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 15:57, 5 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]