Talk:Battle of al-Mada'in/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 11:04, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this shortly. Harrias ^talk 11:04, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Background

Foreign language terms, such as "amir al-umara" need to use the {{lang}} template, not just plain italics, per MOS:LANG.

think I got this-- first time using {{lang}} so pls check to make sure this is right

"with the laqab of Nasir al-Dawla ("Defender of the Dynasty")." This could do with explanation inline. I had no idea at all what it meant until I followed the wikilink for laqab.

added "laqab (honorific epithet) of Nasir al-Dawla"

"Many of the Turkish officers in Ibn Ra'iq's employ who had previously defected to the Baridis, such as Tuzun, plotted against the Baridi governor, Abu Abdallah's younger brother Abu'l-Husayn al-Baridi. when this was betrayed.." Either "when" should be capitalised, or this needs an alternative change.

capitalised "When"

Battle

What is an "emir"?

It's a title of high office (i.e. a king), in this case the leader of Aleppo. I've linked, but the term is widely used across Arab countries, so I don't think it need explanation.

Aftermath

"..dismayed at these developments and exposed being far from his real power-base.." I'm not sure "being" is needed in this sentence, to my mind it would work better without it.

removed

"..to the Hamdanids for aid: and army under.." Typo: should be "an army".

yup, fixed

"..of 3.6 million dirhams." Is there a wikilink for dirhams, and anything to give us an idea of what sort of value this had?

linked

"..and inaugurated a century Buyid rule over Baghdad." Feels like it is missing a word: "a century of Buyid rule"?

added

Lead

This is probably my ignorance: I assume that al-Mada'in is the location on the map labelled 'Mada'in'? If so, why the difference?

seems to be referred to generally as al-Mada'in, but sometimes Mada'in Kisra (1, 2) more than that I can't tell you

I think it would be worth clarifying how far the battle was from Baghdad itself, given possession of that city is listed as the purpose of the battle.

added

Could you add who possessed Baghdad at the time of the battle (the Hamdanids, if I've read it right?)

That's how I read it too

Images

Both images are appropriately tagged, have relevant captions. Consider adding alt text, but it isn't a requirement for GA.

Referencing

The article is well-referenced in a consistent style.
A few spot checks show no evidence of copyvio or close para-phrasing, and the article accurately reproduces the information provided in the sources.
Does the first source, "Amedroz & Margoliouth 1921" have an OCLC number we can add?

added

Overall, a really good article, well-written and interesting. Plenty of context is provided, but it doesn't go over the top with excessive detail on tertiary information. Nice work. Harrias ^talk 11:12, 3 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Eddie891: Thanks for picking this up. I made some fixes to the {{lang}} templates, but otherwise this is all good. Cheers! Harrias ^talk 18:54, 3 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

A delayed thank you to both Harrias for reviewing this and Eddie891 for taking this on in my absence. Much appreciated! Constantine ✍ 16:39, 18 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]