Jump to content

Talk:Battle of the Lipari Islands/GA1

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 22:14, 25 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It'll probably take me a couple days to get started (I'm in the process of reviewing a lengthy BLP article right now), but once I get started, I should be prompt about getting the review done. Hog Farm (talk) 22:14, 25 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

No worries. I only nominated it four days ago. Thanks for picking it up. Gog the Mild (talk) 23:23, 25 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Criteria

[edit]
  • 1. Prose ✓ Pass
  • 2. Verifiability ✓ Pass
  • 3. Depth of coverage ✓ Pass
  • 4. Neutrality ✓ Pass
  • 5. Stability ✓ Pass
  • 6. Images ✓ Pass
  • 7. Miscellaneous ✓ Pass

Comments

[edit]

1

  • Lead's a touch short. It would be nice to get a brief summary of the lead-up to the battle and the aftermath of the battle in the lead.
Expanded. See what you think.
  • In the infobox, you spell Boodes without the ö, but the special character is used throughout the rest of the article. This usage should be consistent.
Done.
  • I think "raided the Roman's" should be "raided the Romans'", given that Romans is a plural.
Done.
  • " although hexaremes (six oarsmen per bank)" - It's not readily evident or common knowledge that the bank referred to is a tier of rowers. This can be extrapolated from the diagram easily, but images don't always show up well on mobile browsers. Is there a way that this can be explained without necessitating a WP:UNDUE length of description?
Well, I could go with

The generally accepted theory regarding the arrangement of oarsmen in quinqueremes is that there would be sets – or files – of three oars, one above the other, with two oarsmen on each of the two uppermost oars and one on the lower, for a total of five oarsmen per file. This would be repeated down the side of a galley for a total of 28 files on each side; 168 oars in total.

but that does seem to be getting undue, so I have chopped mention of the other ship types. Does that work for you?
  • "Shortly after the Lipara victory, Hannibal" (in aftermath section) - Is this still Hannibal Gisco? If so, probably best to use the first name. "Hannibal" in the minds of most readers invokes Hannibal. Even though that Hannibal wasn't born at this point, it would probably still be best to avoid the confusion, given that not many readers are experts on the Punic Wars.
Done.
  • "Using the corvus the Romans captured 50 Carthaginian vessels[note 3] and dealt them a sharp defeat." - Substitute "the Carthaginians" for "them". In the context of the sentence as written, the object of the pronoun is "vessels".
Done.

2

3

  • Do we have any indication of how many casualties were incurred in number of soldiers? I understand this is a figure that may just not be known.
Nope. It is not even something I could off the record OR. One suspects low - possibly very low, with most of the crews bolting - but having just rechecked the five standard secondary RSs there is not a hint of this.
  • You describe a later skirmish where Hannibal faced the Romans with 50 ships and lost most of them. If this action has a name/article it should be mentioned/linked.
No name. It gets a single short sentence in the primary sources - that's it. And never been named by a modern source that I am aware of. So extremely doubtful that it will ever even warrant a stub.

4

5

6

7

  • See MOS:BOLDAVOID. Links should not be placed in the boldface in the first sentence.
Fixed.
  • The sources are not all in alphabetical order, Shutt is listed before Rankov (not a GA factor, but still something that's worth fixing)
Fixed.

Placing on hold, Gog the Mild. I'm testing a new way to organize GAR comments, a handful of my old reviews got very stream of conciousness, which didn't always make for a clear review. Hog Farm (talk) 01:41, 27 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Hog Farm and thanks again. Your points above all addressed. Gog the Mild (talk) 11:42, 27 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Gog the Mild - Passing now, looks good. It just occurred to me that the best way to incorporate the differences is rower placement between the ships may be as a note. Hog Farm (talk) 17:26, 27 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Hog Farm, yeah, good thinking. I may try that in other articles. But I still think that it is a bit off topic for this one. And thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 17:32, 27 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:Battle_of_the_Lipari_Islands/GA1&oldid=947655284"