Talk:Cherry Wine (Hozier song)/GA1
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:02, 9 February 2021 (UTC)
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I will review this shortly, good luck on your first GAN! --K. Peake 08:02, 9 February 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Folk genre is unsourced; add a mention in the body of it and why is this targeted to American folk music?
- Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox song
- WP:OVERLINK of Hozier under songwriter(s)
- Release year of the album should be in brackets instead
- "It was released on 12 February 2016 as the final single from the record," → "The song was released on 12 February 2016 as the seventh and final single from the album," with the target
- Mention in the body the release date
- [1][2] should not be in the lead, as refs aren't supposed to be here and [2] is useless anywhere since [1] backs up the info on its own
- The lead is too short at the moment; the sentence after the above should be about comp/lyrics, then do critical reception, followed by the chart position, with music video being the last sentence
- Wikilink music video
- "and starred Saoirse Ronan" → "and stars Saoirse Ronan"
- "the release was given" → "the video was given" and you can keep this part in the lead, but move the refs to the music video section and write about the coverage in more detail there
Recording and composition
[edit]- Retitle to Background and composition
- The recorded live part on the audio sample text and in prose is not sourced
- "guitar acoustics," → "acoustic guitars," on the audio sample with the wikilink
- Swap the paras, as the comp one is currently first followed by background
- "the final track of the album," → "the final track of Hozier,"
- [6] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [7]
- ""Cherry Wine" consists solely" → "The song consists solely"
- 11 offers a mention of guitar strings that can be added
- Wikilink acoustic guitars
- Not only is live recording unsourced, but so is delicate, romantic acoustics
- Target chirping of birds to Bird vocalization
- [8] should be solely at the end of the sentence and swap it with [9] in order, as [9] is the one that backs up earlier information
- 7 can be used to mention the line about redemption
- Remove wikilink on Ireland
- "caved-in roof and walls" → "a caved-in roof and walls"
- It is not mentioned that the song was recorded on the roof by any of the sources
- Target abusive relationship to Relational aggression
- "to domestic violence."" → "to domestic violence"." per MOS:QUOTE
Critical reception
[edit]- Retitle to Release and reception; add the song's release date at the top with a source and merge critical/commercial sections since they are both one para each
- "received acclaim from music critics" → "was met with acclaim from music critics" with the target
- The advocacy praise is not sourced, only lyricism and production so alter the prose appropriately
- Name the authors for the publications
- "cites it as" → "cited the song as"
- "depicts the track as" → "depicted the track as"
- "The voice-work is described as" → "The voice-work was described by Carly Snider from The Michigan Daily as" with the wikilink
- "that the song was" → "that the song is"
- "and that Hozier's vocals "sound" → "and Hozier's voice "sounds" for accurate quoting
- "of the album."" → "of the album"." per MOS:QUOTE
- The final sentence is making it sound as if the sources give an overview of what critics in general said about the song, when they do not. Alter by instead attributing the reviews to the authors, but check the sources to make sure you do not take their quotes out of context.
- "tender —horrifyingly so."" → "tender —horrifyingly so"."
Commercial performance
[edit]- This should be the second para of the above section
- "peaked at 32 on" → "peaked at number 32 on the US"
- "Island Records, which released the single, confirmed" → "Island Records confirmed" since you will have introduced the label when the release has been mentioned
- Target domestic abuse to Domestic violence
- The live performance can be in the music video section, if you retitle it
Music video
[edit]- Retitle to Music video and promotion per above
- Wikilink domestic violence and music video on the img text
- Wikilink the director and cast of the video on the first mentions instead
- Wikilink music video in prose
- "on 14 February 2016 (Valentine's Day) as" → "on 14 February 2016, coinciding with Valentine's Day, as"
- "Directed by Dearbhla Walsh, the video casts actors Saoirse Ronan and Moe Dunford" → "Directed by Walsh, the video casts actors Ronan and Dunford"
- Only the victim part is sourced as a role, not abuser
- The penultimate sentence of this para should be after the synopsis info in the para below; also, mention who described it as powerful and alter the part about the delicate performance being praised by critics since it is only the author of the source that said that
- Remove the last sentence of this para because YouTube is constantly updating, thus making it unreliable for view count
- The "homey apartment" part is not sourced, unless I missed the ref's mention of this?
- "appearing throughout the video in" → "appearing throughout in"
- ""wrapped in a ... cardigan" whose behavior appears" → ""wrapped in" a cardigan, with his behaviour appearing"
- Where are the "warmly" and "while, in isolation, she stoically and tearfully observes her wounds" parts sourced?
- "laughing, and drinking wine" → "laughing and drinking wine" because the article is in British English
- The forearm bruise part is not sourced
- Add the live performance as the very last sentence of this section, keeping in the second para
Charts
[edit]- Col is not needed here like usual in my opinion, as it is only two separate charts
Weekly charts
[edit]- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
Year-end charts
[edit]- See MOS:TABLECAPTION
- US Hot Rock Songs → US Hot Rock & Alternative Songs
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks slightly too high at 40.5%; cut the quoting from NME slightly to resolve this
- Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
- A lot of these refs are not using parameters like they should do to be filled in properly; see "Reborn" for example
- Wikilink NME on ref 1
- Ref 3 is missing the URL and title
- Cite Bell Time Magazine for ref 4
- Ref 5 is missing the URL and cite Irish Independent
- Cite AllMusic as publisher instead for ref 6 with the wikilink
- Popmatters → PopMatters on ref 7 with the wikilink
- Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 8
- AV → The A.V. Club on ref 9 with the wikilink
- Target Vox to Vox (website) on ref 11
- Remove or replace ref 12 per WP:RSSM
- Michigan Daily → The Michigan Daily on ref 15 with the wikilink
- Target Salon to Salon (website) on ref 16 and fix MOS:QWQ issues
- Target Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 18
- The URL and title are missing for ref 19, plus cite Irish Mirror and target to Daily Mirror
- The Journal → TheJournal.ie on ref 21 with the wikilink
- Cite Entertainment Weekly for ref 22 with the wikilink
Final comments and verdict
[edit]On hold until all of the issues are fixed; the article is quite messy, but you are inexperienced at nominating GANs so it is excusable in this context! --K. Peake 10:46, 9 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies There was an initial response, but when will you cover the rest? --K. Peake 19:02, 14 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake Yes I will, sorry about that, I’ve been waiting for my laptop to come back from the shop. I’ll definitely take care of the revisions by the 16th. Thank you so much for your review and input, Happy Valentine’s Day!--Bettydaisies (talk) 19:09, 14 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies I gladly await that day and happy valentine's day, even if it's another one single for me haha! --K. Peake 21:17, 14 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake Hi! Me as well, although it's a common occurrence given the pandemic. As for the review, I've believe I've ascribed the majority of changes to the article, if there are any issues please let me know. Thanks again for your understanding and benevolence during this process, which has been highly educational for me. Have a wonderful week!--Bettydaisies (talk) 07:02, 16 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies Nice to see you have made a lot of changes, plus I did some copy editing for you. However, some issues still remain:
- Sources for the genres should not be in the infobox; instead write out at the start of background and composition's second para: "Musically, "Cherry Wine" is a folk and indie folk song." with the accompanying sources
- You have still left a ref in the lead, despite that info being mentioned in the body and this being uncompliant with MOS guidelines.
- The mentions of strings and the redemption line have not been added, as I suggested from the refs.
- In the reception section, you still need to change cites to cited and Hozier's vocals to Hozier's voice.
- You have not added the wikilinks on the music video img text, nor have you wikilinked the director or Saoirse Ronan plus you removed their full names from here which needs to be undone.
- For the charts, you need to change Weekly charts to Weekly chart performance for "Cherry Wine" and do the same for the year-end one with the differing term at the start.
- There are still MOS:CAPS and MOS:QWQ issues with the refs; to be specific, this refers to double speech marks being used in ref titles and words being unnecessarily in all caps. --K. Peake 07:54, 16 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake I've gone ahead and remedied those, apologies for the inconvenience.--Bettydaisies (talk) 06:49, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies All good apart from the chart table captions, which still need to be fixed accordingly. --K. Peake 06:53, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake fixed!--Bettydaisies (talk) 06:56, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake I've gone ahead and remedied those, apologies for the inconvenience.--Bettydaisies (talk) 06:49, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies It is supposed to be Weekly chart performance for "Cherry Wine" and 2015 year-end chart performance for "Cherry Wine", so you still need to change the captions appropriately. --K. Peake 07:08, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake apologies, it should be corrected now.--Bettydaisies (talk) 07:10, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies Yeah the charts tables look ok now; sorry I didn't notice this earlier because you had not added it until yesterday, but I just took a last read-through and saw The Edge is being used as a source, which is unreliable per WP:RSSM. Please remove it and all of the backed up info, unless you can find a replacement and that is the last issue 100%. --K. Peake 07:12, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake sure! I've gone ahead and reworded it to cooperate with the reliable sources.--Bettydaisies (talk) 07:25, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies ✓ Pass now, took a week or so but that is a decent period for GANs to stay on hold, plus we may have had some discussion but at least it resulted in the best outcome! --K. Peake 07:33, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake Fantastic! Thank you for your understanding and I'm very happy to see the page improved. Have a wonderful week!--Bettydaisies (talk) 21:16, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies ✓ Pass now, took a week or so but that is a decent period for GANs to stay on hold, plus we may have had some discussion but at least it resulted in the best outcome! --K. Peake 07:33, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake sure! I've gone ahead and reworded it to cooperate with the reliable sources.--Bettydaisies (talk) 07:25, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- Bettydaisies Yeah the charts tables look ok now; sorry I didn't notice this earlier because you had not added it until yesterday, but I just took a last read-through and saw The Edge is being used as a source, which is unreliable per WP:RSSM. Please remove it and all of the backed up info, unless you can find a replacement and that is the last issue 100%. --K. Peake 07:12, 17 February 2021 (UTC)
- K. Peake apologies, it should be corrected now.--Bettydaisies (talk) 07:10, 17 February 2021 (UTC)