Talk:Crystal Palace Dinosaurs/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Rosiestep (talk · contribs) 16:23, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
I'll review this in the next couple of days. --Rosiestep (talk) 16:23, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
- Many thanks. I hope the article is somewhere near your usual high standard. Chiswick Chap (talk) 16:35, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
- Lead
- Crystal Palace - it should be wl but doesn't need the single quotation marks.
- done
- Hyde Park - it could use a wl, too
- done
- References
- The article has a heavy reliance on McCarthy 1994, published by the Crystal Palace Foundation. Is it possible to condense some of the McCarthy refs, i.e. pp. 46–47 is mentioned twice, etc.?
- merged ref
- Could you flesh out these refs: Natural History Museum biographies Richard Owen and the nyder html?
- done
- Sayers has a 'page needed' tag. Some of the other books are also missing page numbers, so where possible, they should be added.
- added URL and chapter (need a print copy for page)
- Some of the books are missing URLs, etc. even though I found the books online - best to standardize
- added several
- The Ann Coates ref lists the author in 'fname lname' order while all the other authors are 'lname fname' - best to standardize.
- oops, done
- Sources
- McCarthy - add URL
- done
- Bibliography
- Kerley - As the book is not mentioned in the References or Sources sections, what role does it have in the writing of the article?
- rename to Further reading, I haven't used it
Thank you for a very interesting article. More comments later. --Rosiestep (talk) 17:32, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
- History
- Single quotation marks - Also occurs unnecessarily in the History section ('tidal', 'launch', 'friends') including within an img caption; as well as in the In literature and popular culture section; and perhaps elsewhere.
- done
- Sydenham Hill - wl
- done
- "As part of this renovation..." and "To mark the 'launch' of the models..." - add a comma to set off introductory elements.
- done
- "first ever" - first-ever
- done
- "time-line" - timeline
- done
- "The models' realism was aided by the lake at the time being 'tidal' and rising and falling, revealing different amounts of the dinosaurs." - bit clumsy
- reworded
- "... and in 1855 the Crystal Palace Company cut Hawkins's funding" and "In 2002 the display..." - add comma after year
- done
- "The models and indeed the park fell into disrepair as the years went by..." - indeed may be unnecessary
- removed
- tonne - consider adding the Template:Convert for those readers who might not be sure about tonne/ton
- done
- "The Institute had..." - which Institute?
- removed
Forced to simultaneously deal with Saturday morning chores, so more comments later. --Rosiestep (talk) 18:50, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
More
[edit]- The 'Dinosaur Park'
- Header - rmv quotation marks
- done
- Palaeozoic era
- Coal Measures - wl
- done
- Dicynodon - Starting with Dicynodon and continuing through the rest of the article, the various types represented at the park begin with a wl'ed entity, followed by a colon, and then a description. It has the feel of a "list" without bullets/numbering. I think prose-style would be preferable and it appears to me this would be an easy adjustment.
- done, hope that still 'works'
- Mesozoic era
- "Today..." - WP:REALTIME
- changed
- Triassic, Oolite, Teleosaurs - wls
- done
- Seals - lc
- done
- "They became one of the three 'mascot dinosaurs' along with the Iguanodon and Megalosaurus (although ichthyosaurs are not dinosaurs)." - What's a mascot dinosaur? Add comma before "along".
- reworded, comma added
- "Easily the most recognizable and most commonly shown of Hawkins's models are the pair of Iguanodon." - says who?
- removed
- "even in 1854 Owen..." - add comma after year
- done
- "implausibly flexible" - hyphenate (compound modifier)
- done
- 'rock outcrop' - rmv single quotation marks
- done
- Cenozoic era
- "An extinct mammal from the Eocene to Oligocene epochs, first found near Paris." Incomplete sentence
- fixed
- Eurasia - wl
- done
- "Hawkins built a family unit of male, female and fawn; the adults bore antlers made from actual fossil antlers..." Did the female member also have antlers?
- added 'male'
- "children's zoo, now demolished" - Can you clarify if the children's zoo was in the Crystal Palace Park or was there a children's zoo in London which was demolished?
- clarified inside CPP
- "The models of Palaeotherium, an extinct Eocene mammal thought by Cuvier to be tapir-like, have suffered the most wear and tear of all of the models, and the standing model no longer looked much like the original model by Hawkins; prior to the 2002 restoration they were in such bad shape they were removed and put into store." bit long
- split
- Some sources state that these models were added at a later date, but an Illustrated London News illustration of Hawkins's workshop shows them in the background. - date of Illustrated London News illustration?
- Jan 1854, added to existing ref.
- 'Tertiary Islands' - the punct is unnecessary if Tertiary Islands are described earlier in the article.
- I think we need these.
- Avoid single sentence paragraphs
- merged paras
- In literature and popular culture
- Four paragraphs start with the word "In". - reword some of them?
- reworded two
- "Charles Dickens's 1853 novel Bleak House begins with" - commas to separate the parenthetical
- added
- Implacable November weather. - missing open quote mark
- added
- "Brett Anderson used the line 'So I went and sat in Crystal Palace, by the plastic dinosaurs' on his solo track To The Winter, from his 2007 self-titled album." Switch to double quote mark for the quote. Add comma preceding the parenthetical To The Winter.
- done
- Avoid single sentence paragraphs
- merged paras
- Categories
- Bromley is mentioned twice in the cats. Is it worth mentioning somewhere in the article?
- It's really just the modern administrative borough; added
Thank you for an interesting article! If you need more than a day or two to sort through the suggestions, I'll put it on hold. --Rosiestep (talk) 21:33, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose quality:
- B. MoS compliance:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. References to sources:
- B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
- C. No original research:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- B. Focused:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
Great job! It has been my pleasure to read the article and to provide the review. --Rosiestep (talk) 01:58, 12 January 2014 (UTC)
- Many thanks for a speedy and thorough review! Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:16, 12 January 2014 (UTC)
@Chiswick Chap - Just spotted a few very minor further things. Perhaps you'd consider them:
- Removing citations from the Lead
- Done
- Moving the remaining books from References to Sources
- They aren't really sources, each being used only once. Think they're probably best where they are. All the best, Chiswick Chap (talk) 19:37, 12 January 2014 (UTC)
Thanks. --Rosiestep (talk) 18:13, 12 January 2014 (UTC)