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Talk:Hair (Lady Gaga song)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: CallMeNathanTalk2Me 05:26, 20 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer:Lil_niquℇ 1 [talk] 23:43, 4 June 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

[edit]
  • Lead reads well, nicely done
  • "Hair" was recorded while Gaga was on tour throughout Europe. -> maybe you should mention the tour to give the sentence more oomph
  • though some of them -> you didn't mention a subject yet, so just write "though some"
  • hair to express these messages -> hair as a form of expression was not new or original
  • major musical markets -> I think music market is more proper
  • reaching the top-ten, it charted within the top-twenty -> tense

Background

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  • "Hair" was written and produced Gaga and RedOne,[3] and the name of the song was revealed through an interview with Vogue magazine in February 2011. -> doesn't flow well
  • thematically it focuses -> focusing
  • started selling considerable amount of digital downloads
  • Hence "Hair" -> Hence, "Hair"
  • Gaga noted that although "Hair" was not planned to be an official single, it could be released as such, if it sells well at the digital outlets like "The Edge of Glory". -> The tense needs fixing

Recording

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  • Other influences included metal bands like Kiss and Iron Maiden on the melody -> source?
  • Next info is also unsourced
    • All from Ryan "closetted gay" Seacrest's show.
  • Gaga's references for the saxophone solo was E Street Band and Bruce Springsteen and for her it represented "the isolation in the music dichotomy, [representing] the whole spectrum of music." -> This is difficult to understand. The quote needs a better introduction
  • Clarence Clemons over-link
  • Clemons replied that he can record it on the coming -> tense, that he would be able
  • A little run-on
  • So Clemons flew -> Not a good start for a sentence
  • in Manhattan in midnight -> at
  • he says -> said
  • Place the Rolling Stone source on more lines. Many appear not referenced
  • The music notes sentence needs proper punctuation (periods, commas)
  • Needs clean-up as well
  • time"[3] The

Critical reception

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  • self-esteem and liberation to free-flowing coiffure -> this is a quote
  • great tune and an Europop high-energy epic -> quote

Chart performance

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  • In all the markets that "Hair" charted, its debut position on the charts became its peak position and it was present for a maximum of two weeks. -> This sentence reads poorly and is difficult to navigate
  • region -> (s)
  • and in the Gaon Chart of South Korea, it reached a peak position of number 21, on the International download chart. -> c/e

Live performances

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  • The beginning needs some tightening and sourcing. Don't go four or five sentences without a source
  • She was dressed in and her teal colored hair fell into a long tail beside her