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GA Review

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Reviewer: Curly Turkey (talk · contribs) 21:13, 1 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this. Feel free to revert any of my copyedits or to disagree with any of my comments. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 21:13, 1 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

  • Unless you have a very strong reason, it's not a good idea to see image sizes—doing so overrides user settings, and this kind of fine tuning almost inevitably ends up being less optimal that one would suppose given the huge variety in screen sizes and orientations out there.
The images didn't fit well in-line with the table without custom sizes; I can leave them as standard thumbs, but it was kind of a mess that way if I remember right. CorporateM (Talk) 05:44, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
This is the thing—what looks fine on one screen will look awkaward on another, and there's no way to optimize the image sizes for all different kinds of screens, which is why it's generally best to leave them alone. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 08:24, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • its first day on the New York Stock Exchange was two months later: I imagine it should be easy to find the actual date.
 Done The source doesn't give the exact day of that month that it was listed, but I did find out it was actually originally listed on NASDAQ before moving to NYSE later on, so I corrected that and put a month/year. CorporateM (Talk) 05:53, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • for the network edge: is there something good to link to here?
Maybe Edge device? I don't see any articles the general concept CorporateM (Talk) 05:55, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • I added a bunch of categories. You might want to hunt around for others that apply.
  • Recent history: "recent" will date quickly. Maybe "History since 2008" or something?
  • In November 2013, Juniper Networks announced that Shaygan Kheradpir would be appointed as the new CEO: when did he begin?
January 2014[1][2]
Is there some reason for not stating so in the article? Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 08:24, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Well, for something like that, I would probably just include one or the other (the announcement date or the appointment date), just like acquisition tables are often based on the announcement date that is better covered in secondary sources, rather than when the acquisition closed. Anyway, I went ahead and added it so there are both dates now. CorporateM (Talk) 01:53, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Juniper acquired intrusion deception company Mykonos Software: should that be "detection"?
    • Ah, I can see this is explained later in the article. This will be confusing—can the explanation be moved up?
 Done CorporateM (Talk) 06:05, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sometimes you use %, and sometimes "percent". Probably best to settle on one style.
 DoneCorporateM (Talk) 05:42, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The product family was discontinued later that year: because it was unsuccessful, or it was superseded by something else?
  • Juniper acquired the Juniper Secure Meeting product line: was it called that before they acquired it?
  • The gateways sold well in the marketplace: as opposed to elsewhere? Would the intended meaning be changed if "in the marketplace" were dropped?
 Done trimmed "in the marketplace" filler. CorporateM (Talk) 05:34, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • in recent history Juniper: this will date—we'll need an "as of"
 Not done Not sure about product history, but for corporate history a "Recent history"-type section is pretty de-facto. They usually include about 10+ years, so this section won't get full until the year 2025 or so, at which point we'll have to start pushing stuff into more historical section titles. CorporateM (Talk) 05:33, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Unless there has been a consensus that this is the way things should be done, the fact that's it's the "de facto" way of doing it says no more than editors have picked it up from other articles when looking at how to structure an article. Poor practice is poor practice. Imagine the article were written ten years ago. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 08:24, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I took a look at a few FAs on company's still in operation; I see that it's not "de-facto" as I had believed, but rather the precise style seems to vary with stuff like "Recent operations" or "2010s" both being in use. What about "From 2015?" or do you have a better suggestion? CorporateM (Talk) 01:28, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Well, given the section's only a few paragraphs long, why not just merge it with the preceding "Further developments" section? Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 01:44, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Oh I got my wires crossed. I changed the "Recent updates" section from the product area to "From 2015". I think the Recent History and Further Development sections are too long to combine; the combined 6.5 paragraphs would become one of the largest sections on the page. Considering at least some FA articles follow a similar format, I think we're fine. CorporateM (Talk) 02:06, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
6.5 paragraphs really isn't that long, but I won't push. I'm surprised "recent whatever" has managed to get through any FAC—it's really poor practice. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 02:13, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Recent update: again, this will date very quickly, and likely shouldn't be a separate section anyways, especially as it's a single sentence
  • Around 50% of its revenues: is "revenue" not normally as non-count noun in this context? Countable "revenues" suggests to me "types of revenue" rather than "total revenue".
 Done CorporateM (Talk) 05:30, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • to be 1–2 percent: it's best to go with either "1–2%" or "1 to 2 percent".
 Done CorporateM (Talk) 05:28, 3 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Sources

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  • Ref #71 doesn't say anything about the settlement it cites. Also, I might word it to make it clearer that Palo Alto was the party that paid—"reached a settlement" could be read either way.
 Done CorporateM (Talk) 15:00, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref #128—unless I'm misreading, isn't this talking about a piece of hardware (an appliance), whereas the article "a remote access software product"?
I'm not sure what you mean. Citation 128 doesn't seem to mention the word "software" and is about an appliance. CorporateM (Talk) 15:05, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
I mean the Wikipedia article talks about "a remote access software product", whereas the source talks about an appliance. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 21:11, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Oh I see. Fixed. CorporateM (Talk) 21:46, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Images

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The main reason I wanted the chart was because it shows that the stock price did fall back down to regular levels, whereas the source material only really covers its explosive growth. CorporateM (Talk) 14:54, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Well, two issues:
  1. That that was your aim isn't clear—I'm going over teh articel word-by-word and it wasn't clear to me, so it's far less likely it will be to casual readers
  2. More importantly, it's a Fair Use image for which a free equivalent could be made, thus violating WP:NFCCP #1. Curly Turkey ¡gobble! 21:14, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Just trimmed the image. CorporateM (Talk) 21:44, 4 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Misc

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 Done CorporateM (Talk) 01:24, 5 May 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  1. ^ Bent, Kristin (January 16, 2014). "New CEO Kheradpir Lays Out Vision For Future Of Juniper Networks". CRN. Retrieved May 3, 2015.
  2. ^ Bass, Dina. "Juniper CEO Resigns After Review Over Customer Negotation". Bloomberg. Retrieved May 3, 2015.
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