Talk:Keith McCready/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 23:12, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Give this a fresh set of eyes. It needs it. 7-day hold to Lee Vilenski. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 04:59, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Copy changes

• For an American biography, convert to mdy dates.

I've made the change via a template. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:29, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

• I found a ref with a useful quote:

Lead

• From 2003 to 2006, McCready was a contributing writer to InsidePOOL Magazine, and is known for comedically interacting with the audience during matches. This is a weird juxtaposition. These two items don't seem to relate. Also, no comma here.
  • I've reworded to make it a bit clearer these are two topics. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:33, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Personal life

• McCready was born on April 9, 1957 in Elmhurst, Illinois, later moving to Anaheim, California with his brother and father I need a GEOCOMMA and a DATECOMMA here.
  • Fixed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:42, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• He initially had to stand on a box to reach the height of the table, and developed his unusual "sidewinder" stroke while still a boy C in S
  • Huh? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:42, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• McCready was suspended from school, "for having too much money". No comma here. Also, is there a citation for this quote?
  • Fixed/added. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:42, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• De-capitalize "state"
  • I think Candlish got this one for me.Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:42, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• As a teenager in California, his mentor was an older California player named Cole Dixon, who showed McCready how to survive as a pool player, and was inspired by Rudolf Wanderone who he met as an adolescent. This needs some rewording to not imply that Dixon was inspired by Wanderone. Maybe As a teenager in California, McCready was mentored by Cole Dixon, an older California player who showed McCready how to survive as a pool player, and inspired Rudolf Wanderone, whom he had met as an adolescent.
  • Changed per suggestion. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:42, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• McCready acquired the nickname "Keither with the Ether" as a teenager, but was considered an old-school player who was fast and very accurate at the table. How are the former and latter related? Also C in S.
  • I've reworded. Hopefully a bit easier to read. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:24, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• Today McCready resides in Washington, D.C. and I'd add commas after Today and the GEOCOMMA after D.C.
  • Looks like Stanton got this one for me. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:24, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• However, was later given the nickname "Earthquake". Orphaned from the original section. This area looks like it needs a paragraph rewrite
  • Done by Stanton. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:24, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• McCready in the later 2000s became a columnist for the Inside Pool magazine. Should this be Inside Pool or InsidePOOL?
  • Mac has changed to InsidePool, which is assume is bang on.Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 11:51, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Professional career

• When McCready was 21 and embarked on competing in professional pool throughout California. Incomplete sentence.
  • Yeah, there wasn't anything there that worked. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:41, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• McCready scored his first professional win, in October 1985 drop the comma
  • Dropped. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:41, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• At the 5th Sands Regent Open nine-ball tournament in Reno, Nevada, June 3–7, 1987, won by Strickland, Holy comma! Maybe At the 5th Sands Regent Open nine-ball tournament, held in June 1987 in Reno, Nevada, and won by Strickland,
  • Done Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:41, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Sourcing and spot checks

• Forsyth 2005 is cited twice, once with the ISBN-10 and once with the ISBN-13. Consolidate with the ISBN-13.
  • Removed Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:57, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• Give each ref a once-over and add missing metadata such as publication title.
• What makes the blog source [28] reliable?
  • Stanton explains this better than I could below. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:57, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• Earwig turns up a forum thread where someone copy-pasted an old revision, a content mill, and a birthday site probably copying us. The next highest source has the Diliberto quote.
  • Yeah, reasonably common. I can't see this being anything other than a copy from. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:57, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

I selected five references for spot checks: 2, 5, 11, 16, 23.

• 2 (NYT book review): Provides the gaming with dad anecdote.
• 5: This site is dead (mark appropriately). This does not look verifiable since the archived site didn't save the video. Several refs will need url-status set.
  • I've replaced this with some onepocket.com interviews. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:57, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• 11: Uses the Earthquake nickname.
• 16: AGF on the offline source.
• 23: Checks out, However, it is [sic] was his high stakes gambling that earned him the lion’s share of his reputation as one of the most feared 9-ball players.. I assume Capelle is a subject matter expert.
  • Indeed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:57, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Other items

• The image File:Keith Poster Albany.jpg isn't very...good or useful. They're all libre licensed. Add alt text.
  • Yeah, I mean I guess, but it's a free image. RailbirdJAM has done some great work uploading images for this. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:43, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
• References are archived

— Preceding unsigned comment added by Sammi Brie (talk • contribs) 04:59, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Third-party follow-up comments

I did a minor-editing pass on it (fixed a chronological-order problem, a grammar error, some punctuation pecadilloes, etc.). I think it looks pretty good (maybe biased opinion, as I worked on this article years ago when it was in a rough state :-). In answer to a question above, yes Capelle is a subject-matter expert; probably the best-selling pool instructional author after Robert Byrne (author). To answer the question about the blog source [28]: R.A. Dyer is also a subject-matter expert with multiple relevant non-self-published books under his belt [1]; but regardless, the material is based on the book Pool Wars by Jay Helfert, which someone could buy and read and cite instead. But Dyer is actually good enough.  — SMcCandlish ☏ ¢ 😼  09:51, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

• One more item for @Lee Vilenski and SMcCandlish:... The passage "In December 1998, he was ranked 10th on the men's professional pool tour." is sourced to a newspaper article from 1985. What's the right ref for this? Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 21:42, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Should be fixed now. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:12, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.