Talk:Lego Indiana Jones 2: The Adventure Continues/GA3
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: ZooBlazer (talk · contribs) 04:36, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
I'll take this one since your last review stalled. Don't want you having to wait forever to get this fully reviewed. I'll go through the article and post comments in the next day or two. -- ZooBlazertalk 04:36, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks for taking this up! As for the questions posed, I do not believe any other RS named a ballpark for how many characters there are other than in the Youtube interview. Also, 'adventure creator' is in quotes because it's the exact phrasing and not very descriptive at that. Although, I do admit that I did use the wrong quotes unless it was correct, in which case yay me. In the case of the "IGN" source, it's really from howlongtobeat.com, but it's owned by IGN and I consider its information both valuable and, of course, not perfectly accurate to anyone's playthrough. If you think I should write that it's from howlongtobeat or nothing at all, I'm willing to do that. I'm also willing to remove the IGN Wiki source, but as far as I can tell it's only ever been edited by one IGN staff member, and archives to the relevant sources all exist.
- Other than that, I've fixed the issues you mentioned. -- Mebigrouxboy (talk) 20:59, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- In the case of IGN, I'd just remove their name from the sentence then. I think everything is looking good, but the reception section should still be addressed. After that I'll do spot checks and if they come back good, the article should be good to go. -- ZooBlazertalk 21:32, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
- Reception section is all done now! -- Mebigrouxboy (talk) 02:54, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
- @Mebigrouxboy You still have a lot of "A said B" and versions of it, as well as the two instances of saying someone "noted" something. The best thing to try to do is find things that multiple reviews mention and then, for example say something like "the story was praised because..." or "New gameplay features were criticized because..." and then expand on those main points. Try to organize paragraphs to have a theme so they're talking about the same thing. -- ZooBlazertalk 03:29, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
- Ok, I've redone quite a few sentences to cut down on the 'A said B' phrasing. -- Mebigrouxboy (talk) 01:43, 15 April 2023 (UTC)
- @Mebigrouxboy Looking much better. One last thing -
Reviewers noted that the final bosses
- word it differently to remove "noted" and I think the article will be good to go. -- ZooBlazertalk 01:53, 15 April 2023 (UTC)- Done! -- Mebigrouxboy (talk) 02:38, 15 April 2023 (UTC)
- Alright, looks good. Passing the article. Congrats! -- ZooBlazertalk 02:45, 15 April 2023 (UTC)
- Done! -- Mebigrouxboy (talk) 02:38, 15 April 2023 (UTC)
- @Mebigrouxboy Looking much better. One last thing -
- Ok, I've redone quite a few sentences to cut down on the 'A said B' phrasing. -- Mebigrouxboy (talk) 01:43, 15 April 2023 (UTC)
- @Mebigrouxboy You still have a lot of "A said B" and versions of it, as well as the two instances of saying someone "noted" something. The best thing to try to do is find things that multiple reviews mention and then, for example say something like "the story was praised because..." or "New gameplay features were criticized because..." and then expand on those main points. Try to organize paragraphs to have a theme so they're talking about the same thing. -- ZooBlazertalk 03:29, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
- Reception section is all done now! -- Mebigrouxboy (talk) 02:54, 13 April 2023 (UTC)
- In the case of IGN, I'd just remove their name from the sentence then. I think everything is looking good, but the reception section should still be addressed. After that I'll do spot checks and if they come back good, the article should be good to go. -- ZooBlazertalk 21:32, 12 April 2023 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it well written?
- A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
- B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
- A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
- Is it verifiable with no original research?
- A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
- B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
- C. It contains no original research:
- D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
- A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
- B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
- A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
- Is it neutral?
- It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
- It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
- Is it stable?
- It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
- It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
- Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail:
- Pass or Fail:
Images
[edit]- File:Lego Indiana Jones 2 The Adventure Continues Game Cover.jpg
Looks like a direct source is needed, like a link to the website that the image is from per the message on the image's summary page.
- File:Lego Indiana Jones 2 Split Screen.jpg
- Looks good. Properly licensed with FUR
Infobox
[edit]Link "OS X" under publisher as it's the first mention and the unlink it under platforms
Lead
[edit]although released under the same name
The game, although a commercial success
Rewrite one of the sentences to avoid repetition of "although"
Gameplay
[edit]Are you able to find a non YouTube source for the 80 characters? Not a huge deal if not, but generally sites are preferred over YouTube videos when possible.Maybe change "money" to "currency"solve puzzles and defeat enemies with.
- remove withIndiana Jones can use his whip to attack enemies, tie enemies up, manipulate objects, or swing from the ceiling
- I'd suggest changing it to something like "Indiana Jones can use his whip to attack or tie up enemies, manipulate objects, or swing from the ceiling"On 23 November 2009, LucasArts revealed on Twitter that it was working on
- you can pebably change it to just "On 23 November 2009, LucasArts revealed that it was working on"using assets unlocked through progression through the game
- rewrite a bit so you don't use "through" so much that close togetheris an 'adventure creator'
- is there a reason that adventure creator doesn't use quotation marks like the other things in the article?- At the end of the section, you mention the estimated time to beat the game according to IGN. However, the source doesn't directly link to IGN and that info. The source does include links to IGN's wiki for the game, but just like other wikis, that wouldn't be a reliable source as it can be easily changed by people.
Marketing and release
[edit]would offer 'a tongue-in-cheek take on all four cinematic adventures of pop culture's most iconic archaeologist'
- like mentioned a little above, shouldn't you use regular quotation marks?
Reception
[edit]You start the first 2 paragraphs with either "on announcement" or "on release". I suggest changing the wording of one of them to not be so similar to the other.- Reception is the hardest section to write. I suggest having a look at WP:RECEPTION. You have a lot of "A said B" or variations of it, as well as saying someone "noted" something, but noted shouldn't be used in reception sections per WP:RECEPTION.
Spot checks
[edit]- Earwig found no copyright issues
Ref numbers are accurate as of this revision
- Ref #7 - Digital Trends on YouTube - Confirms roughly 80 characters in the game around 0:59 into the video.
- Ref #8 - GameSpot - Mentions that the currency is called studs.
- Ref #10 - Kotaku - Mentions the addition of online co-op.
- Ref #17 - The Guardian - Mentions the changes made for the first three movies compared to the previous game.
- Ref #24 - Feral Interactive - Confirms the Mac version of the game was distributed by Feral Interactive in 2011.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.