Talk:Local Ad/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]Everything looking pretty nice at this point. Only a few little things to clear up for a GA pass:
- Unbold quotes around title.
- Probably not worth mentioning in the lead that Reitman directed Juno; it's a kind of trivial detail that is mentioned later on anyway.
- Maybe say the "National Broadcasting Company network". Even though that's the name of the network, it does sound a little funny to hear the episode aired on a company.
- Move the character full names/links/actor credits from the plot up to the synopsis in the lead where necessary, i.e. Michael, Dunder Mifflin, Dwight, Angela.
- an alternative version he will produce himself -- "that he will..."
- Dwight had created -- present tense "has created"?
- Later, when Jim plays Michael's version -- can we do without the "later"?
- Reitman also stated that -- "he" reads better than "Reitman" because his name's just been mentioned.
- we created for (Thank You For) Smoking -- use square brackets for inserted speech, and also italicise the film title (without italicising the square brackets!).
- Add a closing quotation mark after "neither does he".
- Specify that the product placement list was compiled by IAG Research.
- State that it was B.J. Novak nominated for the WGA award, not just the episode itself.
- Again, state the writer of the episode that did win the award.
- "Local Ad" received a 5.2 Nielsen Rating and a 8% Share -- 1. "Nielsen rating and an 8% share"
- 4.1 percent of all people 18–49 -- "all people aged"
- All reviewers' comments given in Reception are basically "someone stated that..." & "someone else stated that..." Use some variety with other phrases instead of "stated that".
- Image:LocalAd2.jpg isn't low resolution. It should be scaled down to roughly the size of Image:Local Ad.png, or slightly (just slightly!) larger because it's of poorer quality.
So that's about it. You've got seven days to make necessary changes and hopefully then we can pass the GAN. Give us a shout when you think you're done, and good luck :) —97198 talk 09:02, 27 July 2008 (UTC)
- Just an update, all requests have been completed, except the image and the move of links to the lead. The other Office episodes don't link in the lead, and I'd like to keep the consistency, unless the change is desperately needed. I should complete the image soon. Mastrchf (t/c) 15:51, 27 July 2008 (UTC)
- Resized image. Mastrchf (t/c) 23:14, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for that. I think everything's good to go now; I'm happy to promote. —97198 talk 06:12, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
- Resized image. Mastrchf (t/c) 23:14, 28 July 2008 (UTC)