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Review Comment
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1. Well-written:
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1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
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- In lead:
- "historical Armenia" is not a well-known/widely-used term and should be either defined in text or linked to an explanatory article/section
- removed "historical", it just says "Armenia" now
- I don't think 'radical' and 'intellectual' need to be bluelinked - strikes of MOS:SOB and unnecessary definition of common terms
- Removed bluelink for intellectual.
- Rather than 'latter', use 'Chernyshevsky' for clarity.
- "latter" here actually refers to both Herzen and Chernyshevsky. Replaced "latter" with "them" for clarity
- Replaced with "persecuted"
- First sentence of last paragraph of lead is a little hard to follow - separate into two sentences, perhaps, or at least semi-colon to clear up who he was influenced by, and who he influenced
- Done
- Rather than "Nalbandian's another poem", use "Another poem of Nalbandian's" - grammar
- replaced with "Another poem of Nalbandian"
- In 'Life':
- 'Catholicos' should be linked in "Early years"
- done
- Typo: "From July 1948" should be "From July 1848"
- done
- Add "the" to "worked as secretary of", so it reads "worked as the secretary of"
- done
- What "health treatment" did he visit Crimea/Odessa for? Not essential information, but raises an interesting question unanswered in article.
- Will look into it. Could not find any source saying what the treatment was for.
- "enmity for Nalbandian" should be "enmity towards Nalbandian"
- done
- Semi-colon instead of comma in "left the editorial of the monthly in the fall of 1859, however"
- done
- parentheses instead of commas to set off "the center of the Armenian church" in 'Travels'
- done
- Remove "namely" after Oshakan, unnecessary use of word
- reworded
- "the editor of Meghu" instead of "editor Meghu"
- done
- "On his way to London" in Travels - it's not clear to the reader at this point why he is going to London instead of Calcutta. This whole section could be cleaned up a little to make it more chronological, or at least more clearly describe where he went, and why.
- "London propagandists" is in quotes but it's not clear whose perspective it is quoting - clarify
- "year-long" rather than "year-old" in 'Arrest and death'
- Oops. Done
- In 'Views and philosophy':
- "His views on freedom....economy and culture." - it is not clear to me what this sentence means. Do you mean that he distinguished between these two concepts? Clarify and rephrase.
- ։։Reworded
- The first four paragraphs of the section in general could use some reorganizing - it is not clear to me why material is placed where it is - sentences about his views seem in no particular order. For instance, tehre's a sentence about people he admired (such as Robert Owen) without any context, and then two paragraphs later another list of people he admired (such as Goethe). Why the separation?
- Rearranged the entire section.
- "saw the solution in agriculture" - the solution to what?
- Done. Reworded
- "anti-capitalism" should be "anti-capitalist", or else rephrased to "an opponent of capitalism."
- done
- In 'Works':
- Why is his rendering of Ghazar Parpetsi's letter given its own paragraph? Could be incorporated into paragraph above (or that paragraph could be split into two and reorganized).
։։։Moved it up to "Language" section.
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1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
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- Pass. No issues. Nicely structured.
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2. Verifiable with no original research:
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2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
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- Overall well-sourced
- What is the source for this prominent sentence in 'Views and philosophy':
- "The epithet 'revolutionary democrat'....19th century Russian radicals."
- I actually removed that sentence because it doesn't add anything to the article.
- What is the source for this section in 'Poetry':
- "'Freedom' has become an anthem... most popular pieces... Meghu in 1860."
- Done.
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2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
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- Most sources non-English (Armenian). Reliance on several journal articles not available in translation. Assume good faith - peer-reviewed in any case. Pass.
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2c. it contains no original research.
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2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
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3. Broad in its coverage:
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3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
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- Seems comprehensive based on research - I'm assuming given the lack of any mention here or elsewhere that Nalbandian was never married or had any children? Pass.
- Yes, he was not married and did not have any children.
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3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
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- Well balanced in discussion of the subject's legacy and life. Pass.
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4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
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- No notable neutrality issues. Covers Armenian/Russian nationalist issues in a clear and neutral manner. Pass.
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5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
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- No issues, most work done in February.
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6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
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6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
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6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
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- Overall images are pretty good
- The caption for the Hyusisapayl image should make clear it was established/connected to Nalbandian
- Done
- The image in the 'Travels' section, currently captioned 'Nalbandian', needs a better caption - where/when/how old?
- Done. It's unknown.
- The caption that references "Leo" in 'Views and philosophy" should make clear who that is, or else have a different caption entirely, as this is the first mention of "Leo" in the article
- Done
- The caption for the fedayi is interesting but needs to be a bit shorter
- Done. Shortened
- I think we only need one image of the statue in Yerevan, not both - no preference as to which stays and which goes.
- Done. Removed the closeup photo.
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7. Overall assessment.
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Yerevantsi, thank you for your fixes! I appreciate your hard work on this article. :) There are still a few things to be taken care of, but I think we're well on the way to a successful GA article in the next few days. Ganesha811 (talk) 16:08, 23 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
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