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Improvements

[edit]

Some of the language and phrasing here needs to be revamped. I want to include a better explanation about how personalized urls and direct-mail advertising work. If you have any issues with direct phrasing or tone, please list them so they can be addressed. Jadeddissonance (talk) 07:14, 3 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Quite a few problems:

  • Remove all the ®'s. When people go through the trouble of adding those, it automatically makes it look like spam.
  • Jargon and Buzzwords - "Personalized URLs" links to Persistent Uniform Resource Locator, call it what it is. "Personalized Landing Page" is not a proper noun, it doesn't need to be capitalized.
  • Tone - the article is excessively positive sounding. It reads more like a press release than a neutral encyclopedia article.

--Mr.Z-man 21:39, 3 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Philanthropy section

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This seems rather press release-ish. There's no indication that MindFire is known for it's philanthropy in any way. I'm not clear why we'd have this section in an encyclopedia article. -- SiobhanHansa 22:43, 19 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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