Talk:Mount McLoughlin/GA1
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Reviewer: Freikorp (talk · contribs) 03:14, 10 June 2018 (UTC)
- Do we need to mention 15 names it has previously been known by in the lead? How about just a handful and then mentioning why it has been known by so many names?
- The second lead paragraph looks comically small compared to the first; I'd try and even it out a bit.
- The ecology section is a bit too heavy on wikilinks. I'd definitely lose 'Amphibian', and I'd consider losing more common species as well (eagles, hawks, elk etc).
- I think it's a good idea to avoid single sentence paragraphs in general. Do you think you can merge the single sentence paragraph in the 'Geology' section somewhere? Perhaps the paragraph above?
- "There were two smaller vents as well" - so just confirming, there aren't two smaller vents anymore? Do you know when they disappeared?
- I changed it to "are". The book says nothing to imply that the vents are gone, just that there were two other vents that produced eruptive products. ceranthor 15:15, 10 June 2018 (UTC)
- Pacific Crest Trail is linked in the body, though not at its first instance
- The url in the reference for '"Skiing from the summit of Mount McLoughlin' needs to be updated. It's redirecting at the moment but who knows how long that will last. Incidentally I do recommend archiving your references but obviously that's not a fail point.
Looks really good as always. Will pass this once the minor issues are addressed. Freikorp (talk) 03:14, 10 June 2018 (UTC)
- Thanks for the thorough review, Freikorp. I think these are all fixed. I replied to the vents one just as a note. ceranthor 15:15, 10 June 2018 (UTC)
- Good work. Passing. :) Freikorp (talk) 00:34, 11 June 2018 (UTC)