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GA Review

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Reviewer: Cerebellum (talk · contribs) 22:16, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Hello! I will be reviewing this article. --Cerebellum (talk) 22:16, 27 November 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Wow this was really fun to read, I had never heard of any of this stuff! Well-written and extremely well-research article, easily passes as a GA. I did some copy editing, so let me know if you disagree with any changes I made. I also left some comments below for further improvement. Good work!

  • It's a little weird that that the bold text at the beginning of the article doesn't include the name Odaenathus; could you change it to something like, "Lucius Septimius Udaynath, also known as Odaenathus"?
  • There are some verb conjugation errors in the probes, with sentences like "an inscription published in 1985...mention king Odaenathus." Since the subject (inscription) is singular, the verb should be mentions. I changed this and the same error in a few other sentences.
  • I think you should talk more about Zenobia in the legacy section, since she led a revolt shortly after Odaenathus' death.
  • In the paragraph King of Kings, I think Mlk Mlk should be spelled Malik Malik since that is the spelling used in the lead, unless there is a reason for the difference.
  • I think the discussions of assassination culprits in the "Assassination" section and the "Assassination culprits" sections are redundant and could be merged. --Cerebellum (talk) 00:49, 6 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your kind words. Odaenathus is shadowed by his wife and thats why not a lot of people know his story even though Zenobia contributed nothing to the power of Palmyral; she merely used what her husband built including his army, generals and resources. Yet, she get all the glory; the idea of a warrior queen is more attractive for people

I will use your comments to improve the article, thanks for fixing the grammar. Cheers.--Attar-Aram syria (talk) 14:06, 6 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]