Talk:Pall Mall, London/GA1
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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:10, 19 June 2016 (UTC)
Will review. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:10, 19 June 2016 (UTC)
- General
- No dablinks [1]
- No copyvio detected [2]
- External links check out [3]
- Here are a few duplicate links. Feel free to keep any you think would be appropriate there, say if the last link was ages ago.
- "17th- and 18th-century buildings": tennis court (para 4)
- "Late history": Marlborough House, Schomberg House, Thomas Gainsborough, Institute of Directors
- "Cultural references": Piccadilly, Whitehall
- With the article only about 12K of prose, I think these can all go. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 19:26, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- Lead
- in the 19th I think most articles would add "century" after "19th"
- In this case, there had been a previous clause "in the 18th century". Dr. Blofeld, do you have any views on this one? Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:29, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- History and topography
- Evidence suggests a road What type of evidence?
- The Survey of London source used for this paragraph says, "No evidence has been recorded to suggest that this highway was a Roman road but, as the westward continuation of the Strand, it was probably in existence in Saxon times" which cross-references Royal Commission on Historical Monuments (England) and Roman Roads in Britain. Let's try "historical research" Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:29, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- Good. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 17:28, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- The Survey of London source used for this paragraph says, "No evidence has been recorded to suggest that this highway was a Roman road but, as the westward continuation of the Strand, it was probably in existence in Saxon times" which cross-references Royal Commission on Historical Monuments (England) and Roman Roads in Britain. Let's try "historical research" Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:29, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- I'm not sure if you should use so many direct quotations, this is a new style I am seeing.
- I think this was done by earlier work on the article - the quotations are reproduced from the Survey of London verbatim from the original manuscripts quoted in turn by that source. I think it would be better if these were just paraphrased from the article. Have a look now. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:48, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- Thank you, loads better now. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 17:28, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- I think this was done by earlier work on the article - the quotations are reproduced from the Survey of London verbatim from the original manuscripts quoted in turn by that source. I think it would be better if these were just paraphrased from the article. Have a look now. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:48, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- Any idea who Lumsden was?
- Archibald Lumsden appears to be a completely non-notable person who draws up a blank on historical sources, so I've trimmed him out. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 19:26, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- Link these at first mention: St James's Street and St James's
- Done - there seems to be inconsistency between articles using the full stop (eg: St. James's Park) and not (eg: St James's Street); that's the sort of thing that'll need an RfC to nail down one way or another. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 19:26, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
- The prose reads quite well, I find no problems here.
- Cultural references
- It might be good to add "novelist" before Thackeray, I like identifying people when I mention them first, just to save readers clicks. May be do the same for other such persons?
- I've done Thackeray as it's not obvious from the context, but from the rest I think it is self-explanatory that the bookseller Robert Dodsley ran a bookshop and the architect Charles Barry designed a building, and adding those would make the prose a little redundant, I feel. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 19:26, 21 June 2016 (UTC)
Thank you for all the fixes. The one point where you mentioned Dr Blofeld was just a suggestion, so this can be promoted now. Great job! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 01:53, 22 June 2016 (UTC)