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Talk:Ray Harvey/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: SilkTork *YES! 08:11, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:


I've already read through and it looks good. I'll take a closer look to tick off the criteria. SilkTork *YES! 08:11, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • "broke through for his maiden first-class century" - not sure what this means - it feels like "broke through" and "maiden" are saying something similar. The next paragraph starts with "Having broken through..." - is "broken through" cricket terminology? SilkTork *YES! 08:36, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • A mention that the father played cricket, and that another brother was involved in cricket would be useful in the lead, along perhaps with a few words on the family background - strict, working class. SilkTork *YES! 08:43, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Prose is clear and readable. There is a slight tendency to use cricketing terms that might give the general reader pause - "attacking and free-flowing batsman", and the previously mentioned "broke through"; this is not enough to hold the article back from GA, though consideration could be given to rephrasing to assist those readers who may not know what a "free-flowing batsman" is. SilkTork *YES! 08:57, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • MoS. Some aspects of Harvey's background could be brought up into the lead - details such as the games the boys played that are felt to have attributed to their skills are useful for the stand alone over-view that the Lead is meant to be. Again, this would be part of the ongoing development of the article, as the lead does give a fair enough summary of the article that meets GA criteria. SilkTork *YES! 08:57, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1942–43, Neil broke into Fitzroy’s First XI, joining Merv, Mick and Ray. During that season, the family held down the first four batting positions for Fitzroy; Merv and Mick opened the batting and Ray and Neil came in after them." - The article is about Ray rather than the family as a whole, though the cricketing success of the family is an important part of the article. I think a mention that the family held the first four batting positions is relevant, but the line about Neil is perhaps more about Neil. How about - "In the 1942–43 season, the family held down the first four batting positions for Fitzroy; Merv and Mick opened the batting and Ray and Neil came in after them." It also avoids use of the phrase "broke into" which sounds a bit criminal - [1]. SilkTork *YES! 09:10, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • People read with 60-70% comprehension, and so it can take a few readings to pick up some details. I was wondering what Harvey did when not playing in the Victoria team. I then on third reading became aware of "Harvey was an electrical fitter, and he worked for the Metropolitan Tramways Board". Did he also revert to playing for Fitzroy when not selected for Victoria? A brief summary of how he lived, in the lead, would be useful. "...only managed to hold down a regular position in the Victorian team in two seasons in the 1950s, working as an electrical fitter when not picked." SilkTork *YES! 09:18, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The last two paragraphs of Early years could be rearranged and made clearer. The last paragraph starts with baseball then moves on to cricket without making the differentiation clear. We also have the influence of Plant and Liddicut in both paragraphs, and that all boys were members of the cricket team mentioned in both paragraphs, though in slightly different ways. SilkTork *YES! 09:24, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Coverage. The article appears to cover the main details of Harvey's life and cricketing career, and does so with admirable clarity and focus. Just the quibble about his working life being brought forward. There is no section which goes into too much detail. SilkTork *YES! 09:30, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Pass

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An informative and readable article. Some areas for development, but meets GA criteria. Well done. SilkTork *YES! 09:48, 23 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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