Talk:SkiFree/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Rhododendrites (talk · contribs) 03:58, 13 April 2019 (UTC)
Collapsing first review for simplicity, since so much changed. Feel free to undo this if you'd prefer it visible by default
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Copyright[edit]
Prose[edit]
MOS[edit]
Citations and reference quality[edit]
Broadness[edit]
Pausing for now as per the above. Pinging the nominator, Gamingforfun365. Leaving this pending for now. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 04:43, 13 April 2019 (UTC)
@Gamingforfun365: Thanks for your efforts. You may have seen that I also posted at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Video games. As it seems most disagree with me, I'll go ahead with the rest of the review in the next few days. (Just a heads up -- sorry for the delay). — Rhododendrites talk \\ 04:02, 19 April 2019 (UTC)
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Reviewing part 2
[edit]Ok. Coming back to this after a while. Since the article is, as pointed out above, much different from when I started, I'm going to start from the beginning, taking into account the various responses above, which can be considered moot/resolved at this point. Thanks for your patience. In the process, I've made some minor copyedits. Feel free to undo if you don't think they're an improvement. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 00:52, 24 May 2019 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]is it worth specifying which version of Windows?- Don't know if it's necessary to set out that only one reviewer mentioned how it demonstrated Windows' visual capabilities. The sentence as is reads kind of awkwardly. Gave it a copyedit.
A very brief summary of the remakes are probably worth including in the lead.It is a simple game in which...
I'm butting in to ask if this is necessary to mention. The game's simplicity is mentioned again in a more objective way incritics focusing on its simplicity
.--Megaman en m (talk) 15:22, 10 June 2019 (UTC)
- @Megaman en m: That's a good point. It stuck out when I first read it, but I guess I moved passed it when I saw that multiple sources did comment on its simplicity. It's true we don't need it mentioned twice. I've removed it. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 22:54, 10 June 2019 (UTC)
Gameplay
[edit]The two images are creating a MOS:SANDWICH on my monitor. It looks like there's room on the right for both?players attempt to complete with...
- add what's completed (e.g. "to complete the run...")The sentence startingIn slalom
reads a bit unclear. Something about the "compete with" and the description of the flags.players ski ... on ramps
- jumping off ramps more than skiing on ramps, no?smashing
- colliding?heads past
- passes
History
[edit]Since the sentence startingChris Pirih was a mid-level...
directly cites his website, it should have a citation at the end of that sentence.- Not sure how best to handle
More information on VAX Ski and WinSki
, which seems like refs tacked into another ref. If they're useful for the article, we might as well use them as refs? - Probably best to just put the text-based game before WinSki rather than talking about it through WinSki?
to demonstrate Windows 3's attempt in being a functional operating system by giving players the ability to try to exploit the game
- is there a way to word this more clearly?
- There is. I paraphrased it and made it more concise. I hope that's enough.
Gamingforfun365 21:00, 28 May 2019 (UTC)
to deride the idea of useful time expenditure
- not sure what this means -- sentence could probably use a rewrite?
- Deleted.
Gamingforfun365 21:00, 28 May 2019 (UTC)
Pirih allowed Microsoft...
- run on sentence. can probably just break it up before "in October"also distributed
- does this mean the previous sentence about shipping MEPs 2 and 3 was shipping them with Windows 3 (i.e. bundled)? Otherwise, what is the "also" in addition to? As in Microsoft sold it as-is, and Verbatim sold it with a bunch of floppies?
- Deleted the "also".
Gamingforfun365 21:00, 28 May 2019 (UTC)
- Deleted the "also".
Sales figures should probably be in the reception section.There are a lot of rereleases and ports. Maybe best to give them their own section (or subsection)? What do you think?the company's Tommy
- do we know Tommy's role?
- According to GearSprout's website, Tommy is one of the company's co-founders. Is it relevant to mention his role, or should I just change the sentence to "...interview with the company, GearSprout contacted..."?
Gamingforfun365 21:00, 28 May 2019 (UTC)
- There's a sentence referencing something specific someone said in an interview, so we should probably include a cite there.
- The sentence starting
Microsoft responded ...
has a direct quote so needs an inline cite there. A little more explanation would be useful, too, I think, with regard to the name change/trademark.
Reception
[edit]- It's a little concerning that nearly all of the first paragraph seems to be about MEPs rather than SkiFree, but I suppose the quotes are generalized to all of the games. Part of the difficulty of writing about "packs," I suppose.
- As much as I can recall, I find it unfortunate that typing in "skifree review", "skifree review windows", and the like on Archive.org, and it would return either MEP 2/3 reviews alluding to SkiFree, retrospective articles or reviews about that game, or one of those old advertisements for Windows Home Essentials bundled with MEP 3 (I just searched again, and I got more or less the same results). I agree it is concerning.
Gamingforfun365 21:00, 28 May 2019 (UTC)
- As much as I can recall, I find it unfortunate that typing in "skifree review", "skifree review windows", and the like on Archive.org, and it would return either MEP 2/3 reviews alluding to SkiFree, retrospective articles or reviews about that game, or one of those old advertisements for Windows Home Essentials bundled with MEP 3 (I just searched again, and I got more or less the same results). I agree it is concerning.
The sentenceIn his 1992 review...
has a quote so the cite should probably appear there, too.Lisa Foiles of The Escapist ranked it #1 on their list
- Does Lisa Foiles use the pronoun "they"? Should it be "her"? (or "its" if it refers to The Escapist)?
Other
[edit]The 2600 game is linked in the text, so can be removed from see also (with the section header).The note from the infobox should have a citation.
Thanks for your efforts to improve the article. Nothing super major in the bulletpoints above. Sorry again for the wait. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 00:52, 24 May 2019 (UTC)
- Just a ping: Gamingforfun365. Thanks for your patience. :) — Rhododendrites talk \\ 00:55, 24 May 2019 (UTC)
- I have been editing the article as suggested and crossing out what is done. I have a few comments and questions above, however.
Gamingforfun365 21:00, 28 May 2019 (UTC)- Great. Thanks. I'll just list the things that still remain below:
- Not sure how best to handle More information on VAX Ski and WinSki, which seems like refs tacked into another ref. If they're useful for the article, we might as well use them as refs?
- Probably best to just put the text-based game before WinSki rather than talking about it through WinSki?
- Mostly set otherwise. I did make a couple copyedits addressing a couple things above. The most significant change was to move the "productivity" business to the reception section. I realized that source didn't verify the line about the mushrooms and yellow snow, etc. so I left a cn tag in its place.
- Just about there... — Rhododendrites talk \\ 03:46, 30 May 2019 (UTC)
- I am relatively optimistic now. I think I finished the two you listed, and if there is anything left that needs to be addressed, I will fix that. Given the limited reporting on the subject, this article is one of the hardest I have done as of yet. That said, I have lost the nerve to help upgrade it to FA (which I have never done before), and I am working elsewhere on this website. I still have the nerve to fix any issues that may remain in this article.
Gamingforfun365 17:59, 1 June 2019 (UTC)- Thanks. @Gamingforfun365: Something about those history paragraphs didn't read well to me. I had a go at reworking them. Take a look. I think this is ready to be promoted, but since that was a non-trivial change I want to make sure you're ok with it first. IMO whereas most articles can be GAs, there's typically a desire for there to be more solid sourcing for an article to be considered for FA. Might be worth asking at WT:FAC, though -- I'm not terribly experienced with FAC myself. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 04:14, 8 June 2019 (UTC)
- Just a heads up that I plan to close this as promoted in a couple days if no response/objections. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 22:55, 10 June 2019 (UTC)
- Done — Rhododendrites talk \\ 21:06, 14 June 2019 (UTC)
- Just a heads up that I plan to close this as promoted in a couple days if no response/objections. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 22:55, 10 June 2019 (UTC)
- Thanks. @Gamingforfun365: Something about those history paragraphs didn't read well to me. I had a go at reworking them. Take a look. I think this is ready to be promoted, but since that was a non-trivial change I want to make sure you're ok with it first. IMO whereas most articles can be GAs, there's typically a desire for there to be more solid sourcing for an article to be considered for FA. Might be worth asking at WT:FAC, though -- I'm not terribly experienced with FAC myself. — Rhododendrites talk \\ 04:14, 8 June 2019 (UTC)
- I am relatively optimistic now. I think I finished the two you listed, and if there is anything left that needs to be addressed, I will fix that. Given the limited reporting on the subject, this article is one of the hardest I have done as of yet. That said, I have lost the nerve to help upgrade it to FA (which I have never done before), and I am working elsewhere on this website. I still have the nerve to fix any issues that may remain in this article.
- Great. Thanks. I'll just list the things that still remain below: