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The diff of the changes between the draft version and the "rewritten" draft version (more accurately called an "augmented version") may be seen here. As you can see from that diff, the two versions are practically identical. I don't understand how the editor who first created this article "mixed up biographical details" — except if by "mixed up" you mean they forgot to add certain things, then that makes sense, because the newer proposed version is larger in size than the current draftified version, as it contains additional minutiae regarding the subject's positions, duties and board memberships (but many still without any dates). All of this information is perfectly suitable for a CV[a] if that's what we're going for here. But it's questionable for Wikipedia. Spintendo 19:53, 29 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Notes
^The "augmented" draft version actually cites as a reference the subject's real curriculum vitae no less than three times.
@Spintendo and Izno: Thanks for your feedback. What I meant was that mixing up all these banks and positions made the article hardly understandable for people outside the financial industry. So I've just updated the draft in my userspace, removing some unnecessary details, again. I've also moved the Commerzbank CV from references to external links. (If it might be better to leave it out completely, feel free to do so.) I hope that this version is suitable for Wikipedia. I am really trying to do my very best to follow all standards to bring the article back to main space. -- Oliver at Commerzbank (talk) 11:54, 22 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]