Talk:Super Bowl LI halftime show/Archive 1
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| Archive 1 |
Semi-protected edit request on 5 February 2017
Resolved | This edit request to Super Bowl LI halftime show has been answered. Set the |answered= or |ans= parameter to no to reactivate your request. |
Under section development the picture for Tony Bennett has a caption saying performing in 20013 when it should be 2003 177.193.139.178 (talk) 18:56, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
- Thanks, my bad! I've fixed this typo. ---Another Believer (Talk) 19:01, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
Drones
Should we add this? GagaNutellatalk 23:58, 6 February 2017 (UTC)
- This is already added, with the original source from Wired magazine. —IB [ Poke ] 05:46, 7 February 2017 (UTC)
- True! Thank IB :) GagaNutellatalk 01:29, 8 February 2017 (UTC)
Pandora
What is this? It seems very important tho. GagaNutellatalk 01:30, 8 February 2017 (UTC)
- Pandora music service has been included in Billboard charts from January 2017, hence the report. It will impact on the chart sales. —IB [ Poke ] 06:20, 8 February 2017 (UTC)
- I got it. Thanks for adding! GagaNutellatalk 13:18, 8 February 2017 (UTC)
Copy edit
I've request a copy edit for this article from the Guild of Copy Editors, as a step towards Good article status. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 10 March 2017 (UTC)
- You are a little too early. The article is still not finished adding content and information is still coming up. Lets not haste AB. —IB [ Poke ] 08:14, 12 March 2017 (UTC)
- IB, there is nothing wrong with requesting a copy edit at any point in an article's development. Requesting a copy edit does not mean the article needs to be nominated for Good status sooner than later, or that ad additional copy edit cannot be requested in the future. Consider this just a request for article prose improvement. No big deal! :) ---Another Believer (Talk) 19:39, 12 March 2017 (UTC)
- AB, you missed my point. Consider the scenario that if a Copyeditor does the prose copy edit now, and again I add more and more content to the article, maybe in the same sections. It would require another C/e and request at GOCE. That's why my thoughts are to have an article almost ready, so that the C/e is actually beneficial. You are correct that a GOCE request can be submitted at any given point of an article's development, however, how much benefit it would be when prose is expanding considerably, that's a question. —IB [ Poke ] 07:57, 14 March 2017 (UTC)
- GOCE limits to 2 requests per person at any one time. I have other articles needing review, so I went ahead and removed the request for this article, especially given IndianBio's comment above. We can revisit GOCE once the article is done being expanded. Thanks! ---Another Believer (Talk) 21:45, 19 April 2017 (UTC)
- AB, you missed my point. Consider the scenario that if a Copyeditor does the prose copy edit now, and again I add more and more content to the article, maybe in the same sections. It would require another C/e and request at GOCE. That's why my thoughts are to have an article almost ready, so that the C/e is actually beneficial. You are correct that a GOCE request can be submitted at any given point of an article's development, however, how much benefit it would be when prose is expanding considerably, that's a question. —IB [ Poke ] 07:57, 14 March 2017 (UTC)
- IB, there is nothing wrong with requesting a copy edit at any point in an article's development. Requesting a copy edit does not mean the article needs to be nominated for Good status sooner than later, or that ad additional copy edit cannot be requested in the future. Consider this just a request for article prose improvement. No big deal! :) ---Another Believer (Talk) 19:39, 12 March 2017 (UTC)
I've requested a copy edit since the article has been nominated for Good status. Thanks! ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:21, 2 June 2018 (UTC)
- It would probably be best to temporarily withdraw the GAN until GOCE has finished going through the article or a reviewer might deem this page unstable. Snuggums (talk / edits) 21:47, 2 June 2018 (UTC)
- Should not be a problem. I request reviews for GA-nominated articles all the time. ---Another Believer (Talk) 00:49, 3 June 2018 (UTC)
Category:2017 in LGBT history?
@IndianBio: Do you think adding Category:2017 in LGBT history is appropriate, given the "first" acknowledgement of LGBT community during Super Bowl? ---Another Believer (Talk) 20:33, 1 June 2018 (UTC)
- @Another Believer: very appropriate. Thanks for pointing it out. —IB [ Poke ] 01:30, 2 June 2018 (UTC)
Done Great, sure thing! ---Another Believer (Talk) 01:34, 2 June 2018 (UTC)
GA Review
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Super Bowl LI halftime show/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 09:11, 18 April 2019 (UTC)
Lead
- on February 5, 2017, at NRG Stadium → no need for the second comma
- Lady Gaga headlined the show → comma after "show"
- Release year for "Joanne" in brackets
- I would rather say "unfruitful" for "unproductive"
- rehearsing the show → rehearsing for the show
- jumpsuit for the singer. Designers Bruce Rodgers → jumpsuit for the singer, while designers Bruce Rodgers (for a better flow)
- Some argued it ranked among the top → Some argued it was one of the top
- became her 14th top-ten single → consequently became her 14th top-ten single (to make it clear it was due to the Super Bowl)
Infobox
- Nothing wrong here
Synopsis
- and started singing "Poker Face" → and performed "Poker Face" (to avoid word repetition)
- and sang "Just Dance" → and performed "Just Dance"
- singing "Million Reasons". The audience present → singing "Million Reasons"; the audience present (for better flow)
- Please include the release year for every single in brackets
Background
- Comma after "August 2016"
- The NFL explained → Soon after, the NFL explained (for a better flow)
- comma after "meantime"
- of the show, John Entz, confirmed Gaga's involvement. He added → of the show, John Entz, also confirmed Gaga's involvement, and added
- Pepsi sports marketing director → shouldn't it be "Pepsi's sports marketing director"
- Pepsi sponsored the halftime show for the fifth-consecutive year. → You mention that Pepsi Zero Sugar sponsored the show earlier; isn't this the same?
Development
Conception
- Gaga told Entertainment Weekly she wanted to give → Gaga told Entertainment Weekly that she wanted to give
- that to win fans had → comma after "win"
- 15–60 second → 15–60-second
- Link "Twitter"
- her plan to sing atop the dome → her plan to sing from atop the dome
Rehearsals
- as well as her concert tours → as well as during her concert tours
- the main challenge was how to make the halftime performance different from the preceding years but keep it still about the music → the main challenge was to make the halftime performance different from the preceding years but to still keep it about the music
- Choreographer Richy Jackson was shown in the middle of a session with the dancers, displaying the characteristic moves from the song, "Bad Romance" (2009) → It's unclear what you mean here; was a teaser shown somewhere, or...?
- Unlink "Bad Romance" and remove the release year in brackets
Fashion
- Gaga wore simple outfits → Gaga began wearing simple outfits
- much speculation → several speculation
- iridescent colored → iridescent-colored
- with high shoulder pads → along with high shoulder pads
- body suit → bodysuit
- aiding Gaga's mobility → aiding to Gaga's mobility
- It consisted of silver hot pants with sequins, with a football shoulder-pad like jacket → It consisted of sequined silver hot pants and a football shoulder-pad-like jacket.
- Billboard deemed both the outfits → Were those two outfits? Then it should be "both outfits"
- comma before "adding"
- while playing the keytar, . → syntax issues
- Gaga'sh longtime → issue
Multimedia
- creators of previous Super Bowl halftime stages → the creators of previous Super Bowl halftime stages
- Link "Nashville"
- with the music being played → no need for the "being"
Drones
- The "See also" is kind of redundant here since you mention and link it
- but never encountered the appropriate technology until Intel's drones → the "until Intel's drones" can be removed since it's self-explainatory
- out to Intel representatives and told them he wanted to use their drone technology for a "large TV show in February. I can't give you money, but I can give you exposure." Knowing that the Super Bowl would expose their technology to over 110 million television sets across the country, Intel agreed → out to Intel representatives and communicated that he wanted to use their drone technology for a "large TV show in February. I can't give you money, but I can give you exposure"; Intel agreed (no need for the unnecessary details)
- segment for the opening with Gaga singing atop the roof → segment for the opening, with Gaga singing from atop the roof
- were about 1 foot (0.30 m) square → which were about 1 foot (0.30 m) square
- Link "wirelessly"
- Link "GPS"
Critical response
- considered the show Gaga's comeback → considered the show to be Gaga's comeback
- "critically acclaimed" is not quite right here since there were also some critics; change to "received generally positive response" here and in the lead
- Link "queer"
- Land viewed the singer's opening performance was a subtle → Land viewed the singer's opening performance as a subtle
- Gaga referred to Trump's policies on immigration → Gaga referred to Trump's policies on immigration according to the writer
- —the most by any halftime show—[47 → the ref should follow directly after "show"
Commercial reception
- most tweeted about → most tweeted-about
- was the second most-tweeted → was the second most tweeted-about
- with Joanne selling over 12,000 copies → comma before "with"
- 14.8 million stations and her songs received 2.5 billion spins → 14.8 million stations; her songs received 2.5 billion spins
- which dropped off the chart the previous week → which had dropped off the chart the previous week
- becoming Gaga's 14th top-ten single → comma before "becoming"
- with Joanne rising from number 66–2 → simplify to: "with Joanne rising 66–2"
- aulted from number 54–2 → same as above
- Unlink "The Fame"
- the former moved from number 88–11
- the former moved → say "Joanne" to avoid confusion
- No need for an extra fourth paragraph; combine it with the third one
Set list
- Fixed by myself
Personnel
- Credits and personnel adapted from the listing available at Live Design website → simplify: "Credits and personnel adapted from Live Design"
Other things
- 37.1% is (still) very good for copyviolation
- No disambiguation links
- No dead links
- As far as I checked them, the references do back up the assertions made in this article
Outcome
On hold — a very interesting article that needs some fixes before passed to GA status. Let me know if you're needing extra time over the 7-day period. Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 08:45, 21 April 2019 (UTC)
- Pinging Cartoon network freak and IndianBio. It's been over a month since this review was conducted. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 13:17, 26 May 2019 (UTC)
- @IndianBio: Note it's been for over a month on hold now. You'll have to start working on it or otherwise I will sadly have to fail this. Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:00, 27 May 2019 (UTC)
- Failing due to inactivity. Cartoon network freak (talk) 04:59, 31 May 2019 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.