Talk:T. C. Lethbridge/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Eric Corbett (talk · contribs) 20:32, 11 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

"In 1923 he was appointed to the voluntary position of Keeper of Anglo-Saxon Antiquities at the Cambridge University Museum of Archaeology and Ethnology". we're told this twice in the lead, once in the first paragraph and then again in the second.
- This certainly is a little repetitive, but it is necessary that we state this fact in the first paragraph of the lede, as it was Lethbridge's one and only academic appointment during his career. However, it also has a place in the second paragraph because that it fits within the chronology of Lethbridge's life here; perhaps it coudl be re-worded within that second paragraph ? Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:53, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"Resigning in 1957 ..." It's not immediately clear what he resigned from.
- I've clarified this in the prose with "Resigning from the university museum in...". Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:08, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"There he devoted himself to researching paranormal phenomenon ...". Shouldn't that be the pural phenomena?
- Good point. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:08, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"Most of this research entailed his research into the use of pendulums for dowsing". Entailed doesn't seem like the correct word to me in this context.
- I've replaced "entailed" with "involved". Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:08, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"... purported his own theories as to the nature of ghosts". Purported can't be the right word there either.
- I've gone with "articulated". Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:08, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Youth: 1901–21

"... where they employed six servants and a housemaid." Isn't a housemaid a servant?
- The cited text refers explicitly to six servants and a housemaid, although I agree that this would probably work better simple as "seven servants". Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:21, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"... resulting in the family moving into Charles' house in Heytesbury, Wiltshire". Which Charles is this? Ambrfose's father Charles was dead, so couldn't have owned anything.
- Charles was not dead at this point, but I see at the use of "inherited" earlier in the paragraph certainly indicates that. I have made prose alterations accordingly. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:21, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"... however, he would never record poor eyesight throughout the rest of his life." I don't know what that means.
- I've removed this passage, as it isn't particularly important. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:21, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

University and Jan Mayen: 1921–23

"Setting sail aboard two ships from Bratvaag in August 1921, when arriving at Jan Mayen the team climbed the Beerenberg, becoming the first team to ever successfully do so." That's very awkwardly written.
- I've changed this to "The expedition set sail from Bratvaag aboard two ships in August 1921, and upon arriving at Jan Mayen they became the first team to successfully climb the Beerenberg." Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:30, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Bibliography

The lead tells us that Lethbridge wrote sixteen books, yet the Bibliography contains twenty-four entries. Which are books and which the titles of papers? The titles of papers should not appear in italics.
- Frankly I am unsure as to why there is a discrepency here; it is probably an error on my part. Certainly he had sixteen books published, with eight more being self-published; none of his papers have been listed in the Bibliography. I have altered the introduction accordingly. Midnightblueowl (talk) 20:43, 16 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Becoming Keeper of Anglo-Saxon Antiquities: 1923–47

"Lethbridge took up the voluntary post ..." Does voluntary in this context mean unpaid?
- It does; I have clarified this with the wording "voluntary and unpaid". Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:54, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"Lethbridge continued to dislike Cambridge ...". I don't see where we've previously been told that he disliked Cambridge.
- Good point; the prose has been altered accordingly. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:54, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"... resulting in the self-publication of his 11-page volume, Umiak – the European Ancestry of the 'Women's Boat'. I don't think you can really call eleven pages a volume, or even a book.
- I've changed this to "booklet". Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:54, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Embracing parapsychology: 1957–64

"Lethbridge became increasingly disenfranchised with the academic and professional archaeological community". Disenfranchised can't be the correct word.
- I've gone with "increasingly critical". Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:03, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"... echoes of particularly emotional or traumatic events that might have happened in the past or the future." That doesn't really work, combining the past tense with an event in the future. What about "might have happened in the past or might happen in the future"?
- Agreed and changed. Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:03, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"His first book on the subject of what he often termed 'the odd' ..." That quotation really needs to be attributed straight away, at the end of that sentence.
- I have duplicated the reference by including it at this point too. Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:03, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"... in which Lethbridge was filmed undertaking his pendulum experiences in his garden." You don't undertake an experience. Reliving perhaps?
- I've gone with "repeating" here. Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:03, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the comments Eric; if you have any further recommendations then please don't hesitate to let me know. Best, Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:05, 26 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

That's great. I think we're done here now, so we can close this. Eric Corbett 16:51, 27 April 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.