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GA Review

[edit]
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Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Tuvalu Trust Fund/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 19:11, 31 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll be happy to review this. JAGUAR  19:11, 31 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
    y
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:


Initial comments

[edit]
  • "The Tuvalu Trust Fund was established in 1987 by the United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand.”" - why is there a quotation mark here?
  • "The value of the Tuvalu Trust Fund, as at 30 September 2012" - as of
  • Per WP:LEADCITE, citations in the lead are discouraged unless citing controversial information. I don't think citations in the lead here and necessary, and could be moved to the body (up to you)
  • The lead is too short and needs expansion in order to summarise the article, per WP:LEAD
  • "An agreement to establish the trust fund was signed in Suva" - link Suva
  • "The United Kingdom withdrew from the agreement in 2004" - this needs a citation
  • "This amount was achieved with the help of other international donors of Japan and South Korea" - doesn't make sense. This should read This amount was achieved with the help of other international donors such as Japan and South Korea
  • "The 20th anniversary review of the Tuvalu Trust Fund described the performance as being that" - 'as being that' also doesn't sound right if it's connecting a quote. I would remove "being that" as put a colon after "as"
  • "The Fund was established" - I don't think "fund" should be capitalised. It should be fully written out
  • "the Trust Fund provides an important cushion for Tuvalu's volatile income " - sounds informal
  • I fear that the Structure section doesn't meet the GA criteria. It relies too much on quotes and there's not enough prose. Also, the bullet points go against the GA criteria and should be converted to prose
  • "This is achieved through the "separation of fund capital from fund proceeds available for distribution."" - honestly this would be fine without quotes

Close - not listed

[edit]

I'm sorry, I really hate doing this but I'm afraid that this doesn't meet the GA criteria and there would be too much work to be done instead of putting it on hold. It mostly fails 1a of the criteria; the lead is too short, the article relies too heavily on quotes and there is not enough prose or content. If all of the above can be addressed, I'll be happy to review it again. JAGUAR  19:24, 31 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Tuvalu Trust Fund/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 16:25, 4 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:25, 4 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  • There's a dead link: see here.
    Footnote 19 is dead; can we get an archive link for it? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:04, 4 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why do we get out of date accounts of the fund's value in the lead? I can see it might be worth giving some history of the fund's change in value over time in the body of the article, but surely all we need in the lead is a recent value statement?
  • Can we get more information on how and why the fund was set up? The first sentence in the "Contribution to the Tuvaluan budget" is helpful, but it doesn't give any insight as to why the countries involved felt they should do this. Were these countries in some way responsible for negative effects on the Tuvaluan economy? Is this colonial guilt? Simple charity?
  • There are four long quotes, which don't seem necessary; quotes should illustrate the article text, not replace it. There doesn't seem to be anything about these quotes that requires them to be given verbatim. Can they be paraphrased?
  • Why do we have a table of data just from 2010 to 2014?
  • Why is the 2013 data an estimate, but the 2014 data apparently not?
  • Some of the information seems a bit haphazard and repetitive. For example, the last sentences of "Contribution to the Tuvaluan budget" give a specific example of one year in which the money was used as part of the budget, as if this was exceptional in some way, but the paragraph above says that the fund has contributed about 15% of the budget every year, so it appears there was nothing unusual about the 2013/14 budget.
  • The A and B accounts are defined in the "Structure" section, but the terms are used repeatedly above that point. I think the article needs to be restructured a bit. I would suggest either making it strictly chronological, starting with whatever pre-1987 discussions led to the fund being created, and then stepping forward through the events and numbers, defining the A and B accounts at the point you explain the structure of the fund; or else starting with a definition of the present-day account of the fund, giving its value, current contributors, percent of current budget, and anything else relevant such as legal restrictions on use or future prospects, and follow that with historical data such as the creation and performance. I think the former approach would be better, but either could work.

I'll stop there for now; once you've addressed these points I'll take another look. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:47, 4 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@MozzazzoM: are you planning to work on this article? If not, I'll fail this in another week. If you need more time, just let me know. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:19, 11 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Mike Christie: I will work on the Tuvalu Trust Fund over the next week, which should be sufficient time MozzazzoM (talk) 05:02, 12 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
OK, let me know when you're ready for me to look at it again. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:58, 12 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@MozzazzoM: just checking in; are you still planning to work on this? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:26, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Mike Christie: I have been delayed by other commitments. I will complete work on the Tuvalu Trust Fund by 31 January MozzazzoM (talk) 21:34, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
No problem, just making sure you were still interested in working on it. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:54, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@MozzazzoM:: checking in again; are you still planning to work on this? It's been almost a month; I will fail this in a week if there's no progress. If you're busy now you can always renominate it once the points above are addressed. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 00:24, 2 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Mike Christie: I have rewritten and restructured the Tuvalu Trust Fund page. The most recent information available to me is the IMF 2016 Country Report. MozzazzoM (talk) 04:28, 4 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
OK, I'll take a look, probably today. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 13:22, 4 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • was established for the intended purpose of helping to supplement national deficits: a bit wordy, and "supplement" isn't right -- it sounds like it makes the deficits worse. How about "was established to help reduce national deficits", or "was established to supplement the national budget"?
  • In the first eight years of operation the market value of the FTF: can we give the end date here? It appears to be 2007, but it would be easier on the reader to say so in the article.

MozzazzoM: Just these two points left, plus the dead link mentioned above. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:22, 4 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Mike Christie: I have rewritten the 2 points and fixed the dead link. MozzazzoM (talk) 00:18, 5 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good. Passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 00:22, 5 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Mike Christie: Thanks. MozzazzoM (talk) 05:52, 5 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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